Reality Check - Bad Au Pair

[Anonymous]

I'm looking for a reality check on our au pair. Our au pair has been with us for little over a month. She is our first au pair. From the very beginning, she struck me as a bit emotionally cold and distant, but I figured the culture and language difference were probably to blame, so I didn't think much of it. Now that a few weeks have gone by, I've noticed a number of troubling signs: (1) she doesn't really play with our kids or get down on the floor with them or do much with them (again, her English is not good and our kids are very vocal); (2) the moment she is not working she makes likes a ghost and disappears with her friends, every single night of the week and weekend; (3) when our 4 year old was acting up, she got fed up with him and basically said she couldn't handle it; (4) she takes zero initiative and generally does the bare minimum around the house; (5) she always seems to prioritize her social life to any work duties; (5) literally asks zero questions about anything and almost have to pry words from her; (6) does not make any effort to properly tidy up after the children. I've never had an au pair before, but this feels like a lot of work and something feels very "broken" about the relationship, coupled with what I perceive as a complete lack of effort on her part. Should we send her packing? Would rematch be any better?

[Anonymous]

Reset conversation! Go to the Au Pair Mom website and search for guidance. You have to try to explain what you want done differently. If you don't explain, she can't fix it. Make sure to include the LCC and officially document everything. My hunch is that you are headed to a rematch but give the reset a try and see what happens in say the next two weeks.

[Anonymous]

What country is she from? Maybe you are having a cultural issues with communication?

[Anonymous]

The reset poster is correct. You need to really make it clear what you want and what is not working, and what she can do. did you have a handbook that you gave her? if so, please review it so it's clear. I would also loop the LCC in so she is aware of what you are doing. You probably will rematch but you need to have all of this documented with the LCC.

I was in your shoes and thanks to this forum I realized rematch was the best for our family.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

This kind of AP needs to have a written schedule.
Do this. Check the box. Do that. Check the box.

That and a reset conversation of course. And if nothing improves she will have to go.

[Anonymous]

Op - what happened?