This is just an excuse, right? RSS feed

Anonymous
One of the APs I interviewed on Sat, whom I really liked, wrote me back saying she thinks we're a great family, but our listed hours for her would be too little and she'd be bored, so she turned down my request for a 2nd interview. We have a 5 yr old and a 2 yr old. The 5 yr old will be in kindergarten and the 2 yr old staying in his current daycare for the first 4-5 months of the AP's arrival. I thought this would be a perk for most APs, to have more free time early on to acclimate to things and take classes.

I assume this AP had some reservations about our situation but did not want to come straight out to say it (she's not currently interviewing with other families). Since I'm new to this whole process I just want to gauge how best to proceed with other prospective APs. Would appreciate any feedback. Thanks.
Anonymous
How many hours do you need ?

It looks like there's something else that is bugging her and she's not honest about it.

Do you or your husband work from home? That could be the problem.
Anonymous
Probably actually a different schedule thing. She's envisioning lots of early morning/late evenings and weekend hours because it's too few hours for those first few months.

It seems like lots of families use school as an excuse to schedule early morning duties, then evenings up until bedtime for the kids. Then we hear about it here because the AP "suddenly" decides to rematch for better hours or is unhappy.
Anonymous
OP here. About 25 hours initially.

We do have a little bit of flexibility in how we structure the hours. For example, DS1 could take the bus to and from school, or the AP could drive him. We could also pull DS2 from daycare earlier or later. I was having such a hard time to even get someone for a first interview, that I thought I should emphasize the less hours as a perk. But now I'm 2nd guessing myself.
Anonymous
We only use our au pairs for afterschool and evenings, usually 3-4 evenings past bedtime per week, but they are almost never off earlier than 7:30-8. Hasn’t been a problem.
Anonymous
She probably wants to live in sunny LA.
Anonymous
An excuse most likely. She may not want to deal with a 2 year old.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here. About 25 hours initially.

We do have a little bit of flexibility in how we structure the hours. For example, DS1 could take the bus to and from school, or the AP could drive him. We could also pull DS2 from daycare earlier or later. I was having such a hard time to even get someone for a first interview, that I thought I should emphasize the less hours as a perk. But now I'm 2nd guessing myself.


When are you trying to get an AP to arrive? Many are interviewing for immediate (4-6 weeks for first available date depending on your agency) or September/October arrival now. If you're looking for July/August, it's a bit too late and maybe that's why you're having problems? Also, if you're using CC, then yes, get used to rejection for a connection...
Anonymous
Maybe she's just not willing to live in Washington.
Anonymous
You are saying that you are having trouble getting APs agree to first interview (not uncommon with the CCAP). with two kids in school and few hours it should go for you as a plus.

As PP said, what is a timeframe? Where do you live, and have you thought through APs transportation? Do you have a curfew or any other strict rules?
Anonymous
yes. just an excuse.

As someone said, maybe she is worried about unexpected hours being added on weekends/nights?

If she was being serious, then I would worry that she has no idea what it is really like to take care of young children.
Anonymous
Split schedules are undesirable even when the net hours is low. I’ve always had split schedules and have a hard time matching. (We are also an interracial family so racism is likely also a factor)
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Split schedules are undesirable even when the net hours is low. I’ve always had split schedules and have a hard time matching. (We are also an interracial family so racism is likely also a factor)


OP here. I didn't realize split schedules are unpopular. We're also interracial and wondered about this as a factor, but figured if someone made it to the interview stage they're probably ok with it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Split schedules are undesirable even when the net hours is low. I’ve always had split schedules and have a hard time matching. (We are also an interracial family so racism is likely also a factor)


OP here. I didn't realize split schedules are unpopular. We're also interracial and wondered about this as a factor, but figured if someone made it to the interview stage they're probably ok with it.


Not necessarily. In fact we even matched with a girl with some pretty disturbing attitudes about race. She was in rematch and desperate I guess.
Anonymous
An excuse. Move on.
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