Does your au pair say “happy mothers day?”
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I have an au pair we adore. She’s been with us for a year and we recently extended . She is a rematch as she had issues with her first family and she only has 5 more months with us as a result. my kids are in lower school, and as a full time working mom, I value all the love and care my kids get from nannies when I’m not around. last year, when it was the mothers day, and she was new in our family, she gave me a card and a little gift. They were very cute. This past weekend, on mothers day: not even a Happy mothers day sentence uttered. I thought ok, busy morning, maybe she forgot but no text either. Nada. On Monday, she didnt even ask how my day was. I am quite offended to be honest. Should I ask her or our au pair program advisor if everything is ok? What does your au pairs do on mothers day? Do they say happy mothers day???? Or completely ignore the day? We really love her and we never ever have issues but Im well aware of resentments that build up at work. I am beginning to think she might have issues with me...... |
Anonymous
| Do not think about this for another second!! Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill. |
Anonymous
| Mother's Day is an american holiday. She may not celebrate it. |
Anonymous
|
Sounds like she forgot? Insane that you’re offended.
Mine came to our $50/head brunch but that was it. |
Anonymous
| She didnt forget. And it’s not an American holiday!!!! But yes... I am trying to move on. |
Anonymous
Yes, it is. We have family in another country and they do not celebrate it but celebrate Women's Day instead. |
Anonymous
| You’re... not her mother. I don’t say happy mother’s day to all of my friends... just to my mom. Shrug. It would have been kind of her, but certainly not required. |
Anonymous
| My AP did get me a card. But honestly, I dont wish anyone a HMD except for my mom. I also don’t expect anyone but my kids to wish me one as well. |
Anonymous
|
We have been hosting for 11 years and have fabulous relationships with 9 of our APs. One former AP emailed me for mother’s day. By contrast, all nine email me on Thanksgiving.
I never understand why people care about this. It’s a Hallmark holiday. If feel appreciated as a Hm for much of the year, why do you care whether someone who isn’t your child wishes you happy Mother’s day? |
Anonymous
|
Ok - thanks for the responses. I just thought she might be upset with me for whatever reason. Especially because I got a card and a gift from the same au pair just last year. I’ve had nannies (not au pairs) for 8 years and they always texted to say HMD.
I still think it has a motive behind it but I will try to move on. I find it very rude nevertheless. |
Anonymous
| FWIW I have a very similar situation except this is my first mother’s fay with her (she came in sept) and she’s extending another year. She’s great with the kids. I like her. Not a peep about mother’s day until she said something like “oh yeah, it’s mothers day today right?” Then nothing (not happy mother’s day or anything). To draw her out in convo I asked her whether they celebrate mother’s day in her country and she said yes. That was the extent of our convo. I invited her to dinner with the in-laws and she said sure but did not show. I’m not offended. I’m not her mom! Plus she had other things going on in her life ... perhaps a first American boyfriend. |
Anonymous
| My kids are still toddlers/preschoolers, so all our APs made Mother's Day's gifts with/for them. I am always surprised and touched by it. I don't expect any gifts (though all former APs gave us gifts), but I think I would expect a "happy mother's day." However, all our APs have been from countries where mother's day is celebrated on the same day. |
Anonymous
| Are you her mother? I’m a nanny and didn’t text my MB because that’s weird. I’ve been employed with the family 7 years. |
Anonymous
Former AP here. Maybe she didn't think about getting a card or gift this year, it doesn't mean she doesn't care about you 
It was very nice from her to do so last year. That being said, I would have never said "Happy Mother's Day" to my host mom when I was an AP. Not because I didn't care (I liked her) but because ... she is not my mom. Now that my mom has passed away, I call up my grandma and wish her a happy mother's day and she is touched by it. Please don't make a big deal out of your AP not doing anything this year. Have a little talk with her to see if she's happy these days and don't bring up the topic about mother's day. Maybe she just misses her mom and wanted to think about something else ... Have a great day! |
Anonymous
| My AP last year barely recognized the day. This year my AP helped make brunch, got me flowers and made a card. Yay! |