College Graduation Gift for Nanny's Child?

[Anonymous]

Hello all, My nanny's eldest daughter is graduating college. Should we give her daughter a gift? If so, what? And if cash, how much?

We've never met her but it's (obviously) a big occasion for our nanny who (like every parent) is very proud and excited. The daughter will be working in a law office after graduation and will spend the year working there while applying to law school, so she's got big plans. Our nanny has been with us for 16 months now. This is a first for me so I don't know what is appropriate/expected. Thanks for sharing your thoughts or what you've done in the past.

[Anonymous]

Nothing is “expected” but anything would be appreciated. A card telling the young woman how proud her mother is of her and how much you love her mother maybe.

I would avoid cash like the plague! It is setting yourself up for future expectations (and disappointments from nanny).

[Anonymous]

No gift! You are headed down a slippery slope!!!

Give your nanny the day before the graduation off (paid, of course) to handle preparations and congratulation your nanny on raising a successful kid.

[Anonymous]

$50-100 gift card

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. You don’t know the daughter, you only know your nanny. So while giving a paid day off the day before is appropriate, as a gift to your nanny, anything to her daughter is not appropriate. If it was her daughter’s birthday, daughter was a young child who came along sometimes, a gift would be appropriate, but not required.

[Anonymous]

Don't give her anything or even a day off. Try not to get too personal with your nanny. I get that she's taking care of your child but you need to keep things as professional as possible. I've told my story here once before but I gave my nanny 6 weeks maternity leave (full pay) plus she went to all her appointments during work hours (full pay - I would wfh those days), let her bring her new baby to work with her (same full pay) and then she quit on me less than a month later. She was so grateful during her pregnancy and promised me she would stay for at least another year, but no. Never again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't give her anything or even a day off. Try not to get too personal with your nanny. I get that she's taking care of your child but you need to keep things as professional as possible. I've told my story here once before but I gave my nanny 6 weeks maternity leave (full pay) plus she went to all her appointments during work hours (full pay - I would wfh those days), let her bring her new baby to work with her (same full pay) and then she quit on me less than a month later. She was so grateful during her pregnancy and promised me she would stay for at least another year, but no. Never again.

I am sorry you got burned but your experience is not the norm of human behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello all, My nanny's eldest daughter is graduating college. Should we give her daughter a gift? If so, what? And if cash, how much?

We've never met her but it's (obviously) a big occasion for our nanny who (like every parent) is very proud and excited. The daughter will be working in a law office after graduation and will spend the year working there while applying to law school, so she's got big plans. Our nanny has been with us for 16 months now. This is a first for me so I don't know what is appropriate/expected. Thanks for sharing your thoughts or what you've done in the past.

You nanny's daughter is BEING GRADUATED FROM A COLLEGE. Graduating college would mean that her daughter is graduating the college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't give her anything or even a day off. Try not to get too personal with your nanny. I get that she's taking care of your child but you need to keep things as professional as possible. I've told my story here once before but I gave my nanny 6 weeks maternity leave (full pay) plus she went to all her appointments during work hours (full pay - I would wfh those days), let her bring her new baby to work with her (same full pay) and then she quit on me less than a month later. She was so grateful during her pregnancy and promised me she would stay for at least another year, but no. Never again.

Thousands of women do thr same thing to their employees every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give her anything or even a day off. Try not to get too personal with your nanny. I get that she's taking care of your child but you need to keep things as professional as possible. I've told my story here once before but I gave my nanny 6 weeks maternity leave (full pay) plus she went to all her appointments during work hours (full pay - I would wfh those days), let her bring her new baby to work with her (same full pay) and then she quit on me less than a month later. She was so grateful during her pregnancy and promised me she would stay for at least another year, but no. Never again.

Thousands of women do thr same thing to their employees every year.

PP here. What I'm saying is I think it's best to keep things at an employer employee level. Since I'm a woman and had a baby 2 years prior, I knew how hard and tiring it was being pregnant and being a first time mom. I wanted to help out my then nanny as much as I could and I got burned. It was a very expensive and time consuming lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give her anything or even a day off. Try not to get too personal with your nanny. I get that she's taking care of your child but you need to keep things as professional as possible. I've told my story here once before but I gave my nanny 6 weeks maternity leave (full pay) plus she went to all her appointments during work hours (full pay - I would wfh those days), let her bring her new baby to work with her (same full pay) and then she quit on me less than a month later. She was so grateful during her pregnancy and promised me she would stay for at least another year, but no. Never again.

Thousands of women do thr same thing to their employees every year.

PP here. What I'm saying is I think it's best to keep things at an employer employee level. Since I'm a woman and had a baby 2 years prior, I knew how hard and tiring it was being pregnant and being a first time mom. I wanted to help out my then nanny as much as I could and I got burned. It was a very expensive and time consuming lesson learned.

As a small employer, believe me, putting up with pregnant women is a major PITA. Luckily I have under 20 employees and can fire them when they start taking off too much time and sleep on the job.

[Anonymous]

I think you should give the nanny the day off, paid. Don't give a gift to someone you don't know - that's weird.