how to **really** screen for dietary preferences

[Anonymous]

We are interviewing candidates now---and in the past we have had au pairs who said something to the effect of "We eat everything". But then they get here and start grumbling about food or are extreemly picky. We would like to ask more probing questions without divulging our typical meals from the last 2 weeks, to better understand actual meshing of food preferences. We want someone who is going to be open to trying new foods. Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are interviewing candidates now---and in the past we have had au pairs who said something to the effect of "We eat everything". But then they get here and start grumbling about food or are extreemly picky. We would like to ask more probing questions without divulging our typical meals from the last 2 weeks, to better understand actual meshing of food preferences. We want someone who is going to be open to trying new foods. Any suggestions?

Ask who cooks at home. Can AP even cook?

Also, if you have a policy that you don't buy junk food or specialty items, you might want to express it so it's clear. APs might magically be less picky when you don't say you'll go to the Moon to get them what they want...

[Anonymous]

We make it clear that the AP is expected to eat whatever we are eating for meals. I don't want my kids to see that someone else can have their own food while they are expected to eat whatever we cooked. They may ask what to do if they don't like that dish, and then we say they are welcome to prepare something else and eat at a separate time.

[Anonymous]

Just ask them how they would approach it if they didn’t like the dinner that you prepared

[Anonymous]

I ask them the types of meals they cook for themselves or eat as a family. It can also be helpful to ask about holiday meals and what types of foods they prepare then.

We've only hosted French au pairs and most have had some peculiar habits, but even our pickiest one was mature enough not to make an issue of her particularities in front of our kids.

[Anonymous]

Just say the kind of meals you do/like and how it works out in your home : she will have to adjust or get her own food on her own money.

Then if everything works out and you see her diet is not complicated and you want to treat her, it'll be nice to get her some things you don't usually buy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We make it clear that the AP is expected to eat whatever we are eating for meals. I don't want my kids to see that someone else can have their own food while they are expected to eat whatever we cooked. They may ask what to do if they don't like that dish, and then we say they are welcome to prepare something else and eat at a separate time.

I feel bad for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make it clear that the AP is expected to eat whatever we are eating for meals. I don't want my kids to see that someone else can have their own food while they are expected to eat whatever we cooked. They may ask what to do if they don't like that dish, and then we say they are welcome to prepare something else and eat at a separate time.

I feel bad for your kids.

How productive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make it clear that the AP is expected to eat whatever we are eating for meals. I don't want my kids to see that someone else can have their own food while they are expected to eat whatever we cooked. They may ask what to do if they don't like that dish, and then we say they are welcome to prepare something else and eat at a separate time.

I feel bad for your kids.

Wait until your kids end up obese and diabetic s d you’re a de facto short border cook

[Anonymous]

Honestly I think many APs literally don’t know that they don’t “eat everything.” They mean they like all the things mom cooked and stuff from their favorite restaurants.

I don’t care what my APs do or don’t eat. We had one vegetarian who never ate a bite of food I cooked. I also didn’t grocery shop for her, just reimbursed her choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I think many APs literally don’t know that they don’t “eat everything.” They mean they like all the things mom cooked and stuff from their favorite restaurants.

I don’t care what my APs do or don’t eat. We had one vegetarian who never ate a bite of food I cooked. I also didn’t grocery shop for her, just reimbursed her choices.

Agree but I also don’t want to buy a whole different set of groceries either. Vegetarianism is fine. I think what many in this thread are talking about is only wanting certain brands or refusing to try new foods because “it looks weird”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I think many APs literally don’t know that they don’t “eat everything.” They mean they like all the things mom cooked and stuff from their favorite restaurants.

I don’t care what my APs do or don’t eat. We had one vegetarian who never ate a bite of food I cooked. I also didn’t grocery shop for her, just reimbursed her choices.

One of our au pairs would eat dinner with us every night. She was a really picky eater and would only eat like one thing of what we were serving. Like she would eat steak, but not the potatoes, green beans, or salad. We would ask her what she liked so we could try to cook more foods she liked, she said she likes everything. Obviously that wasn't the case. She never cooked anything for herself. She was heavily overweight, so she was obviously eating - it just wasn't clear what she was eating.

It was pretty miserable. I don't feel comfortable telling our au pairs they should eat vegetables because they are adults. But my kids noticed and would complain about having to eat certain things since she didn't. She was not a good role model. I don't think it would have bothered me so much if she didn't always eat dinner with us. Other au pairs would go out and do their own thing if they didn't like what we were serving. But this happened at almost every meal.

It was also kind of sad because I feel like sharing food is part of the cultural exchange. Several of our au pairs loved the food we served and like to learn more. They would only eat dinner with us a few times a week, but it was always enjoyable.

So we now ask several questions about what kind of food a potential au pair likes. Where they have traveled and if they tried/liked the local cuisine. What their favorite food is. What they ate that day. With our first 3 au pairs, we never thought to ask any of those questions.

[Anonymous]

I heavily screen for this - we talk *a lot* about food in our interview - what they like, what they don't like, if they are allergic to anything. If its anything more than a particular vegetable (ie - they just don't like eggplant) then I pass. I had one AP say she ate everything then show up and her first day tell me she had a pork allergy... We eat a lot of pork as we have a lot of allergies to other protein sources, that was really, really aggravating as we really want our au pairs to eat dinner with us.

My current one doesn't eat leafy greens, which is irritating, but I mostly ignore it as she doesn't complain and she doesn't make a big deal about it in front of the kids. I do think its important to share what kind of food you do eat - we tend to pick Colombians who are scared of spicy good in general and I tell them we eat thai, indian, and mexican regularly - its not super spicy, but it is usually an adjustment for them, and they need to be aware of it. In then end all of our au pairs have appreciated our cooking and know that they are eating well.

[Anonymous]

We had a sort of reverse issue -- my daughter and I are vegetarians and I had to buy meat for our Brazilian and French APs. I had not bought meat in nearly 20 years, much less had to smell it cooking in our home. i just had to make sure the APs did not share it with my daughter. Everything spelled out very clearly before matching.