If your AP cooks dinner once (or more) a week

[Anonymous]

Is she on the clock while doing so?
I am getting ready to welcome my second AP. First one never cooked dinner. She showed up to eat, took her platte to the dishwasher and disappeared. One of the reason was that she was usually off around 530-6pm and we have dinner around 6:15-630pm. So I understand that she is off and prefers to do something else.
My new AP will have a similar schedule where she is off around 530-6pm, can I schedule her to cook diner once a week? On the other hand I don't mind if she doesn't cook dinner but I thought it would be another way to connect and learn about her culture and she had indicated that she loves cooking. Also, how much help should have expect with cleaning up after dinner.

Thanks

[Anonymous]

it's on the clock. anytime she cooks for anyone other than just herself, it's on the clock.
and if you require her to sit and eat with you- on the clock
and if she has to clean up dishes, it's on the clock.

we solved this by having AP on the clock until 7:30 a couple times a week, both for driving kids to activities and ensuring we would have some family time together. and then we'd let her off early if nothing was going on.
- long-time host mom

[Anonymous]

Being a decent roomate does not count on the clock at all- in our family book we describe what it means for us- and that’s helping clean up after dinner (which I cook every day). If she cooks for herself only, she takes her plate afterwards. I cook for everybody- decent thing is to offer to eother set up a table or help clean afterwards. Once a week cooking is great too- in a family, everybody chips in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being a decent roomate does not count on the clock at all- in our family book we describe what it means for us- and that’s helping clean up after dinner (which I cook every day). If she cooks for herself only, she takes her plate afterwards. I cook for everybody- decent thing is to offer to eother set up a table or help clean afterwards. Once a week cooking is great too- in a family, everybody chips in.

But they are planning to make it a requirement that she stays for dinner - so of course it is on the clock. Or did you make your 'roomates' eat dinner with you every night too? Of course AP should pitch in and clean up after herself but if she is required to cook the family dinner - that's on the clock.

[Anonymous]

OUr AP cooked for us, it was discussed before she came and requetsed by her.
it is NOT on the clock and i would never require her to do so. If she had plans or couldn't some week, that is fine.
We all see it as being a great experience to be able to try new foods adn she enjoyed cooking family recipes for us.
I bought all of the ingredients and she did the cooking. Nothing elaborate, but did usually take 30 minutes or so.
I am the one who said our AP used that time to skype wiht her mom while cooking. I made sure to keep the kids out of the kitchen so she could talk in piece to her.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I didn't require previous AP to eat with us but she always ate with us and everyone liked it. I don't plan to require new AP to eat dinner with US either but I was planning to have her cook once a week, mostly because she likes cooking (she mentioned that multiple times) and I think she will enjoy doing that for the family. However we are 9-6pm type of family with all weekend free. So I am trying to figure out how to make it work.

[Anonymous]

If you are asking her to cook for the family and scheduling her to do so, it absolutely needs to count towards her hours. If she volunteers to cook for the family, then you don't need to worry about it. You could talk to her when she arrives and tell her to let you know if there is a meal that she would like to cook for the family on a given night and that you would enjoy that, but once you start talking about "scheduling" it needs to be when she is on the clock.

On a side note, I've found that lots of APs lie about liking cooking because it is what they think families want to hear.

[Anonymous]

I thought APs can’t cook for the family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought APs can’t cook for the family?

They can’t be required to cook for the adults. They can be asked to contribute some cooking as a family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought APs can’t cook for the family?

Yes AP can cook for the family once in a while as part of her chores.

[Anonymous]

What in the sam heck? Of course they can cook as part of the family. They can also do the dishes as part of the family. We get Blue Apron every week and the AP cooks it on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We clean up the kitchen those nights and the kids set the table and clear the dishes every night. On the other 3-4 nights per week that we eat together as a family, HM or HD cooks and the AP or whoever didn't cook cleans up the kitchen. No way in HELL am I working 10 hours and then coming home to prep, cook, serve, and clean up after dinner. Adults in the house rotate adult responsibilities....

[Anonymous]

I would have her on the clock one night a week until 630 and maybe let her get off half an hour earlier a different day oif you are maxking out at 45 hours. It needs to be on the clock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What in the sam heck? Of course they can cook as part of the family. They can also do the dishes as part of the family. We get Blue Apron every week and the AP cooks it on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We clean up the kitchen those nights and the kids set the table and clear the dishes every night. On the other 3-4 nights per week that we eat together as a family, HM or HD cooks and the AP or whoever didn't cook cleans up the kitchen. No way in HELL am I working 10 hours and then coming home to prep, cook, serve, and clean up after dinner. Adults in the house rotate adult responsibilities....

That's called normal life. In what world have you been living??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What in the sam heck? Of course they can cook as part of the family. They can also do the dishes as part of the family. We get Blue Apron every week and the AP cooks it on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We clean up the kitchen those nights and the kids set the table and clear the dishes every night. On the other 3-4 nights per week that we eat together as a family, HM or HD cooks and the AP or whoever didn't cook cleans up the kitchen. No way in HELL am I working 10 hours and then coming home to prep, cook, serve, and clean up after dinner. Adults in the house rotate adult responsibilities....

That's called normal life. In what world have you been living??

I had the same reaction. I guess because PP has a normal white collar job that means she shouldn't have to cook dinner? ...what?

[Anonymous]

Why should I do all the work if there are 2 other adults at home. Does AP get to put her feet up and we cook and clean up for every meal? Nope. If it was just me and HD that’s what we’d have to do...but there’s another adult who does her fair share.