How to tell if AP is acted inappropriately

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old said that our AP hit his little sister. I have no idea if he’s making up a story, misinterpreted something, saw an accident, or saw actual abuse. He doesn’t answer questions well, so I couldn’t get any additional info to be able to decide if something really happened or not.

No, I didn’t bother to ask our AP. She would simply deny it.

Have your kids ever told you something like this?

Personality wise, I’d characterize our AP as more “sweet but stupid” rather than angry or dissatisfied that would make me worry more the story might be true...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old said that our AP hit his little sister. I have no idea if he’s making up a story, misinterpreted something, saw an accident, or saw actual abuse. He doesn’t answer questions well, so I couldn’t get any additional info to be able to decide if something really happened or not.

No, I didn’t bother to ask our AP. She would simply deny it.

Have your kids ever told you something like this?

Personality wise, I’d characterize our AP as more “sweet but stupid” rather than angry or dissatisfied that would make me worry more the story might be true...

Yes, our six year old told us about similar problems. I was able to get corroborating information from a neighbor. When I confronted AP, at first she lied. Then, once the neighbor also dimed her out, she admitted but said it wouldn't happen again. I would trust your kid.

[Anonymous]

Kids that age can also lie, please be careful.

[Anonymous]

I don't really understand why you wouldn't talk to the au pair. I would just tell her what your son said and ask if she recalled the incident. Then I would trust my gut on what she said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand why you wouldn't talk to the au pair. I would just tell her what your son said and ask if she recalled the incident. Then I would trust my gut on what she said.

This.

Watch for non-verbal cues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand why you wouldn't talk to the au pair. I would just tell her what your son said and ask if she recalled the incident. Then I would trust my gut on what she said.

This.

Watch for non-verbal cues.

Absolutely. If true, I would expect AP is likely to lie, but you have to ask questions and get as much info as you can to try to figure out what actually happened. And you can't do that without talking to AP.

[Anonymous]

Usually kids explanations have at least some truth in them.
Ask him to show you exactly what AP did by using a doll.
Then casually ask AP as others said, but pay very close attention to her reactions and words

[Anonymous]

Set up a nanny cam.