How would you address this

[Anonymous]

We are in a nanny share. We are the hosts. Our nanny regularly takes the babies out and about. I work from home so I know when they are around or not. This morning our share partner took her child to the doctor so she wasn't dropped off at the regular time. My nanny took my child out after breakfast. I didn't think much of it because she regularly takes him to playdates, the library etc. My share partner contacted me asking whether our nanny was back yet. I am guessing that our nanny told her she was taking my son out. My nanny share partner needed to get to work and drop off her child.

Our nanny was unresponsive to our texts and phone calls for over an hour. I just heard from her and she is on her way home. How should I/we address the unresponsiveness? She has a phone. This is the first time anything like this has happened. Generally, she is a very good nanny.

Should we just discuss checking her phone more regularly? I am pretty disturbed that neither I nor my nanny share partner could get a hold of her.

TIA

[Anonymous]

I would be disturbed also. And if I were the other parent I would be angry.

I would approach this as a communication and expectations problem.

You all need to have a system for ensuring excellent, and prompt communication - when a parent will be dropping a child off (so the nanny knows she needs to be home to receive the child), when the nanny is out (so parents can reach her and expect a prompt response) and so you have a mechanism for addressing concerns or scenarios like this one when they arise.

So you need a direct conversation. Not responding for more than an hour would be unacceptable for me as en employer. Not knowing when/if a child is going to be dropped off would be unacceptable for me as a nanny. All of that should be able to be easily clarified going forward.

[Anonymous]

Do you have anything about communication in your contract with nanny? We have had no phone usage when with children (younger) and then when they were older we had limited usage to allow for updates/communication with parents. But if kids are young, it is hard to watch kids and always look at phone.

Also, it sounds like nanny was going about her day and keeping your son on the schedule he's normal on. I think some of the responsibility falls on the family who changed the schedule, to ask her to be home or check her phone at a certain time. It's not that hard to communicate that "DC has a doctor's appointment at 9:00 this morning. We expect to drop DC off with you at 10:30, but will let you know if appointment lasts longer. Please wait for DC at house or let me know which park you will be at with other DC, so I can meet you there."

[Anonymous]

You can't have it both ways. You bitch if the nanny is always checking her phone but now are bitching that she wasn't checking her phone.

Let the other parent talk to the nanny - they should have had clear communication "I'm taking Teddy to the doctor but will drop him off at 9:30 so can you be at Jackie's then to receive him?" Then the nanny would have known even if she took your child out, to get back home in time to receive the second kid.

[Anonymous]

Eh, I wouldn't make a huge issue of this. It is on the other family to set up a time for her to rendezvous with the nanny since the scheduled had changed. I don't love not being able to get in touch with my nanny, but I am glad that she pays attention to the kids, not her phone, so that's the trade off.

[Anonymous]

How did parents leave their kids with nannies before there were cell phones? Unless you pay her cell phone bill she is under no obligation to call u back. This was a communication issue imo, that should not be hard to resolve.

[Anonymous]

I am a Nanny + trust me, caring for a young child is a ton of work.
Sometimes I barely have a second to look at my phone.

If we are at a story time, I always turn off the ringer.
And during playground & Playgroup time, it is so easy to set my phone in the stroller, then not hear it ring later on.

I would not place any blame on the Nanny at all.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like there wasn’t proper communication with the nanny to begin with. Your expectations of her need to be clear, especially when something changes. She also needs to be more readily available in case of an emergency. A brief comment to both the nanny and the other family, then move along.

[Anonymous]

What happened to communication? Where is the text that says when the other baby would be back?
The nanny probably assumed she has 1 kid only.
Did she ask? Did you ask? Did the other parent say when she is expecting to be back?
I'm surprised also she didn't answer the texts or calls. Maybe she had no reception until she got out metro.

[Anonymous]

communication communication communication
It’s not that hard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't have it both ways. You bitch if the nanny is always checking her phone but now are bitching that she wasn't checking her phone.

Let the other parent talk to the nanny - they should have had clear communication "I'm taking Teddy to the doctor but will drop him off at 9:30 so can you be at Jackie's then to receive him?" Then the nanny would have known even if she took your child out, to get back home in time to receive the second kid.

This!

The other parent should have told nanny she would be dropping off at X time, so the nanny could plan accordingly. Nanny was out with her charge who is top priority, so you can’t get mad at her for not checking her phone. Moving forward, you and the other family need to communicate your plans better- I’m sure if she would have known to be home at X time she would have (since she’s a great nanny) so no need to be hard on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have anything about communication in your contract with nanny? We have had no phone usage when with children (younger) and then when they were older we had limited usage to allow for updates/communication with parents. But if kids are young, it is hard to watch kids and always look at phone.

Also, it sounds like nanny was going about her day and keeping your son on the schedule he's normal on. I think some of the responsibility falls on the family who changed the schedule, to ask her to be home or check her phone at a certain time. It's not that hard to communicate that "DC has a doctor's appointment at 9:00 this morning. We expect to drop DC off with you at 10:30, but will let you know if appointment lasts longer. Please wait for DC at house or let me know which park you will be at with other DC, so I can meet you there."

This except I know excellent nannies who will not work for families with no phone statements in thier contracts. She says that if they can’t trust me to do my job without a clause, then they won’t trust me at all. I agree with her.

[Anonymous]

OP do you know if the other family communicated with the nanny in terms of the change of schedule beforehand?

[Anonymous]

Get her an Apple Watch and an iPhone. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Stuff like this is why we ended our nanny share relationship with another family, but kept our nanny. The other family did not have their child on any sort of schedule so some days they would show up at 9 and other days they'd show up at 10:30. It was completely awful because our nanny never knew what to expect and if she could take our child out.

Sounds like this isn't the case for you and it was more of a one-off thing, but given what I experienced I would actually be happy that your nanny kept things moving with your child rather than just sitting around waiting for the other child to arrive.