Two year old still cries when nanny arrives

[Anonymous]

We have an almost 2.5 year old who had been with me (mommy) and then grandparents since she was born. Since working from home became increasingly less productive, I went back to the office full-time.

Our daughter and our family had been familiar with our nanny prior to hiring her and she came highly recommended by many.

It has been five weeks now since she started and our daughter still hysterically cries when she arrives and when we leave. She immediately demands to go outside or leave the house. During the day she appears fine, if not as engaged as she was with family, but not upset. She naps and eats well and speaks fondly about our nanny when she is away.

Does it typically takes this long for a toddler to get accustomed to a nanny? Are her cries more related to us leaving the home and the association of the nanny with the parents leaving?

[Anonymous]

She might think she's missing out on fun wherever you're going. Has your nanny tried to leave the house at the same time as you to take her somewhere fun? That might help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She might think she's missing out on fun wherever you're going. Has your nanny tried to leave the house at the same time as you to take her somewhere fun? That might help.

Yes-the nanny takes her on a walk or to the playground or indoor gym. She does right after she arrives. Our daughter demands to go out as well

[Anonymous]

It absolutely takes a toddler longer to adjust to a nanny vs an infant. However, you can have a nanny with your child as an infant but when they go into the toddler face they can still develop separation anxiety and throw tantrums when you leave. You should talk to her about the morning routine more frequently and make sure your doing the same farewell each day (mommy loves, kiss, leave). It’s also important for you to greet nanny in front of your child as well. This not only teaches manners but helps your child with security (okay, mommy is nice to nanny maybe I should too).

If she is fine throughout the day with nanny then that’s good and you shouldn’t think to much of it. Just engage more with nanny and have your child do the same in the mornings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She might think she's missing out on fun wherever you're going. Has your nanny tried to leave the house at the same time as you to take her somewhere fun? That might help.

Yes-the nanny takes her on a walk or to the playground or indoor gym. She does right after she arrives. Our daughter demands to go out as well

What else is your toddler "demanding"?

[Anonymous]

Demanding toddlers are brats. This is her problem..

[Anonymous]

It sounds like it's the transition that's difficult, which is very common around this age. Separation anxiety is normal, and can happen even if the child has been with the same caregiver all along. Sometimes a transition routine will help--say and do the same thing every morning. Keep it short and positive.

[Anonymous]

My son cried until he was three but was completely happy the minute I was out of sight. It really sucks but it will pass.
And I see many kids at preschool crying when the parents leave who then turn around and start playing two minutes later.

[Anonymous]

Yes she seems perfectly fine after we are gone and actually more relaxed with the many than with us once she settles down.
She just has that emotional burst of tears and screaming, telling thebnanny to go home and wanting to leave the house.

We have kept the routine pretty much the same. We give kisses and hugs and say goodbye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have an almost 2.5 year old who had been with me (mommy) and then grandparents since she was born. Since working from home became increasingly less productive, I went back to the office full-time.

Our daughter and our family had been familiar with our nanny prior to hiring her and she came highly recommended by many.

It has been five weeks now since she started and our daughter still hysterically cries when she arrives and when we leave. She immediately demands to go outside or leave the house. During the day she appears fine, if not as engaged as she was with family, but not upset. She naps and eats well and speaks fondly about our nanny when she is away.

Does it typically takes this long for a toddler to get accustomed to a nanny? Are her cries more related to us leaving the home and the association of the nanny with the parents leaving?

The Nanny might be abusing your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have an almost 2.5 year old who had been with me (mommy) and then grandparents since she was born. Since working from home became increasingly less productive, I went back to the office full-time.

Our daughter and our family had been familiar with our nanny prior to hiring her and she came highly recommended by many.

It has been five weeks now since she started and our daughter still hysterically cries when she arrives and when we leave. She immediately demands to go outside or leave the house. During the day she appears fine, if not as engaged as she was with family, but not upset. She naps and eats well and speaks fondly about our nanny when she is away.

Does it typically takes this long for a toddler to get accustomed to a nanny? Are her cries more related to us leaving the home and the association of the nanny with the parents leaving?

The Nanny might be abusing your child?

Nope, sounds like typical separation anxiety at this age.

[Anonymous]

Kiss her and pretend to be going upstairs or to another room just say "mommy is coming back" and just sneak out. Saying goodbye fuels the fire.

[Anonymous]

It does sound typical, but... When I was in school o picked up a once a week position because their regular nanny could no longer work that day. The 2.5 y/o routinely cried when nanny arrived and parents left. I was told about her separation anxiety when hired. That girl cried with me one time. I asked her why and she said she thought I was other nanny picking her up. I don’t think the nanny was abusive at all, just not fun and not a good fit. Personally, I would hire a babysitter to come twice a week for a couple weeks and see if your daughter behaves the same way or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It does sound typical, but... When I was in school o picked up a once a week position because their regular nanny could no longer work that day. The 2.5 y/o routinely cried when nanny arrived and parents left. I was told about her separation anxiety when hired. That girl cried with me one time. I asked her why and she said she thought I was other nanny picking her up. I don’t think the nanny was abusive at all, just not fun and not a good fit. Personally, I would hire a babysitter to come twice a week for a couple weeks and see if your daughter behaves the same way or not.

Also, trust your gut!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kiss her and pretend to be going upstairs or to another room just say "mommy is coming back" and just sneak out. Saying goodbye fuels the fire.

Sneak out? Are you serious?