Au Pair and DS fight like brother/sister

[Anonymous]

Au Pair is 18, she’s great. Super intelligent, very reliable, and my kids love her. She and my oldest DS 10 have very similar personalities, so they often get in little spats. For example today they were playing a game in the evening when my DS tried to change then rules of the game mid game and they started going back and forth and I had to come intervene. He often gives her a hard time over screen time limits when I’m not around. Trying to negotiate with her, make up excuses. Should i try to remedy this dynamic or just leave it alone. I don’t think this issue is reason to rematch, it’s just one we have never had before.

[Anonymous]

Put screen restrictions on the iPad/kindle so its not a conflict.

[Anonymous]

If he gives her a hard time about screen limits take away the screen.

[Anonymous]

You need to support your AP and your children need to respect their AP or the relationship will not work. She is the adult no matter how close in age.

On the other hand, your AP needs to learn to manage your children as well. She can’t expect you to constantly enforce the rules on her behalf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put screen restrictions on the iPad/kindle so its not a conflict.

The way I read it, was that there are restrictions but the kid isn't following them.

OP, I have a similar issue with my son and listening to either the AP or me. When he is focused on screentime, he becomes irritated and evil ...not getting off. I have a Disney Circle and can pause the wifi or set limits, but it only helps to a certain degree. I have to have incentives/rewards for good behavior to encourage listening and leaving the game.

Find his currency.

[Anonymous]

You need to talk to the AP and tell her not to get sucked in and not to bicker with him as if he's her little brother.

And talk to DS and tell him to respect her authority as if she's a third parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Put screen restrictions on the iPad/kindle so its not a conflict.

The way I read it, was that there are restrictions but the kid isn't following them.

OP, I have a similar issue with my son and listening to either the AP or me. When he is focused on screentime, he becomes irritated and evil ...not getting off. I have a Disney Circle and can pause the wifi or set limits, but it only helps to a certain degree. I have to have incentives/rewards for good behavior to encourage listening and leaving the game.

Find his currency.

No this is done via the parental controls. My kid had no choice, his devices power down when he's at his limit. No arguements. Problem solved.