S/O. I can’t take four months of my employer at home

[Anonymous]

My employer, the mother, gives into tantrum after tantrum. She thinks talking helps. When my three year old charge is alone with me, she is fine - a happy, sweet and outgoing child. When her mother is around, the tantrums last forever and her mother never fricking shuts up. So the tantrum lasts forever until my charge is puking. I am traveling with them and have gotten a real taste of how horrible it. I love my charge so much but I honestly can’t take four months of her being home for maternity leave after her second child is born in spring.

What do I do? Leaving my charge will break my heart but I am just not cut out for this.

[Anonymous]

How stupid is this mother to think talking and reasoning with a child helps?! Just sit there and be. Talking makes it so much harder on the child.

OP, please talk calmly to your MB. She may not know any better. But I see your point. Things cannot continue like this after the new baby is born and you are home with the child, newborn and mother.

[Anonymous]

When my charge throws tantrums with her mom (who lingers) I walk away. I’ll go sit in the dining area or go into a different room. I am there to work. If you are going to be around and cause chaos and want to parent your child, I will excuse myself and you let me know when you’re ready for me to take over. And when I takeover you need to be out of sight as you’re the one causing your child (who doesn’t act like this with just me) to act out.

I would have a conversation in advance and let her know it’s best that she stays out the way. If she doesn’t agree then let her handle the kids while you take a back seat- it’s frustrating but eventually, she’ll get tired of it and may stay in another room. If the weather isn’t terrible, I take the kids out when parents are home and we stay out until nap- we’re in DC so tons of stuff to do both indoors and out.

[Anonymous]

I feel for you, OP. I was in a similar situation (mother worked from home full-time, nightmare). I really like the pp’s suggestion of just walking away. I don’t know why I didn’t do it more when I was in that shit situation.

It’s like, “Okay, do you wanna handle this, or should I?” If she’s just going to linger and screw things up, then yeah walk away and let her see how far that gets her. You’re there for a reason, and she should just let you handle it. She’s only making it harder on literally everyone.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Really good advice - Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I am pretty miserable in a similar situation. The looming maternity leave with MB home is making me rethink an otherwise great job with great pay and benefits. I actually tear up thinking about leaving but I know I just can’t handle two otherwise great little boys when their mother is around all the time making the boys miserable.

[Anonymous]

This is something that should go in the contract. MB on maternity leave agrees to STAY OUT THE WAY! Ugh!

[Anonymous]

I am an MB who recently gave birth and let my nanny go when I got home from the hospital. I'd rather not have her around while I'm out on leave, and I don't really need her for the next few months. We'll start fresh with someone new if and when I go back to work. So maybe your employer will do the same, and you won't need to make a decision.

[Anonymous]

^^ You sounds like a terrible person

[Anonymous]

My MB was on maternity leave and i was marking the days off on the calendar until she went back to work. When I found out she got to add 16 extra weeks, I broke down on the side of the road on the way home from work and cried for an hour. She was AWFUL. Granted, I’d been with this family happily for 5 years until MB was home all day micromanaging and being obnoxious. Making so much mess all day and expecting me to clean it, then saying I ousnt handle two kids because basically it was 3 kids and all her mess. She would make the kids dinner to ‘help’ and use every dish and pot in the house. It was terrible. I’m glad I stuck it out though, still here 8 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an MB who recently gave birth and let my nanny go when I got home from the hospital. I'd rather not have her around while I'm out on leave, and I don't really need her for the next few months. We'll start fresh with someone new if and when I go back to work. So maybe your employer will do the same, and you won't need to make a decision.

[b]

You used her up until the very end. Says a lot about you. Great mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an MB who recently gave birth and let my nanny go when I got home from the hospital. I'd rather not have her around while I'm out on leave, and I don't really need her for the next few months. We'll start fresh with someone new if and when I go back to work. So maybe your employer will do the same, and you won't need to make a decision.

[b]

You used her up until the very end. Says a lot about you. Great mother.

I am a mother and I agree PP sounds dreadful. Her poor children...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MB was on maternity leave and i was marking the days off on the calendar until she went back to work. When I found out she got to add 16 extra weeks, I broke down on the side of the road on the way home from work and cried for an hour. She was AWFUL. Granted, I’d been with this family happily for 5 years until MB was home all day micromanaging and being obnoxious. Making so much mess all day and expecting me to clean it, then saying I ousnt handle two kids because basically it was 3 kids and all her mess. She would make the kids dinner to ‘help’ and use every dish and pot in the house. It was terrible. I’m glad I stuck it out though, still here 8 years later.

OP here. This is my MB to a t. I honestly don’t know if I can suck it up for four months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an MB who recently gave birth and let my nanny go when I got home from the hospital. I'd rather not have her around while I'm out on leave, and I don't really need her for the next few months. We'll start fresh with someone new if and when I go back to work. So maybe your employer will do the same, and you won't need to make a decision.

I hope you hire a nanny, go back to work and then she quits!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an MB who recently gave birth and let my nanny go when I got home from the hospital. I'd rather not have her around while I'm out on leave, and I don't really need her for the next few months. We'll start fresh with someone new if and when I go back to work. So maybe your employer will do the same, and you won't need to make a decision.

You are an effing bitch. You let her go with no notice. I hope your employer does the same to you and you have to stay home with your brat.