Am I in the wrong here?

[Anonymous]

Back in Sept I moved 12 hours away to accept a new live in Nanny job. Despite what I was told when first interviewing, it has basically turned into a bait and switch situation.
1. I was told that 9 yo girl was impulsive sometimes and liked to hug on people. Reality-she has severe adhd and oppositional defiance disorder. She is on a daily behavior chart at school and even has to be removed from class at times. My contract said I was to give her a vitamin every morning. Pill didn't look like a vitamin and when I looked closer it was adderall. Now don't get me wrong-I have nothing against medicated kids. Its the lying about it that bothers me. She had just started taking the med and if she had had a negative reaction I wouldn't have had the right facts to figure it out.

2. I was told that mom had an unreliable schedule. Turned out to be true but crazier than described. Sometimes she works for 6 days straight at 2nd or 3rd shift and at least 12 hours per shift. Has to work holidays and gets paid double for them.

3. I was told that the only cleaning I would have to do is cleaning up after cooking/eating. Turns out that 9 yo eats like a toddler and makes such a big mess when eating that it takes a whole production to clean up every time she eats which is several times a day. I also have to clean up her mess when mom is in charge of her and I have to clean up after mom cooks too. Boss basically told me I'm a nanny and nannys are responsible for all cleaning. If I had known this I probably wouldn't have taken the job.

4. I was told that all my food would be provided. Got here and contract said I was responsible for my own. I live in flyover and only make $200 a week and half goes to food.

Obviously this hasn't worked out well. I told boss back in beginning of November that I would be leaving first of the year. I desperately miss previous family I worked for before this move and they want me to come back. Two days ago I was taking care of some financial stuff and found out that I qualify to go to school where previous family lives For FREE starting Jan 14th. So today I gave 3 weeks notice. Contract called for 4 but I had already given her a heads up back in Nov. Boss is pissed. Says there's absolutely no way she can find a sitter and wants to know why I can't wait til next year. Do I owe it to her to stay?

I want to add that I'm having some health problems-kidneys and can't get a ride to see a specialist. I have to be for a ride anywhere even the pharmacy.

[Anonymous]

Forgot to add she said I'm going to cause her to lose her job

[Anonymous]

Just go, OP. She is trying to guilt you - don’t accept it. Go.

[Anonymous]

Leave ASAP. You owe her nothing more.

[Anonymous]

$200 a week???? Are you a legal us citizen? I haven’t made that since I was 12 years old and had a paper route. Just go. Now!

[Anonymous]

It is her fault for not being 100% honest + upfront w/you from the get-go.

This is what happens when one lies to get what they want

I would leave as soon as I were able.

Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

You owe her nothing. If you have another job lined up already and not worried about references I’d just leave ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Wow, that’s a lot. I’m glad your previous family asked you to come back! Op, 3 weeks is good enough- that’s actually the new year. The fact that this lady flat out lied to you about the child, your position and benefits, I wouldn’t care less how much notice I gave. She lied because she knew what she was offering (in her package) that no nanny would accept the position. Next time, have the family send you the contract electronically.

Good luck and take care of yourself!!

[Anonymous]

When you say "stay until next year," is she saying that she wants you to stay until next September or she'll lose her job? Not your problem. Not for $200/wk, and not for an employer who lies.

She would be within her "rights" to be upset about the 3-week notice, though there's really nothing she can do about that either.

You are going to feel so much better once you're out of this situation.

[Anonymous]

You told her you were leaving the first of the year. Unless your contract says you need written notice, you already gave notice!

Based on what you've said, it wouldn't matter if you gave the full four weeks or only three weeks - she knows she's paying too little and requiring too much.

You don't need a million excuses. You're unhappy with your job. You gave notice. Leave.

People quit jobs every single day for any number of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forgot to add she said I'm going to cause her to lose her job

She lied to you about everything and she's lying now. Move on with your life and don't look back.

[Anonymous]

Just go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You owe her nothing. If you have another job lined up already and not worried about references I’d just leave ASAP.

Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You owe her nothing. If you have another job lined up already and not worried about references I’d just leave ASAP.

Totally agree.

+2

[Anonymous]

Live-in nanny here. BTDT. I think most live-in nannies have run into this before, if they relocate to positions. Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Have your own contract ready. Most parents who don’t want to do a contract use time as the excuse. If you have one ready for them to tweak, you’ll easily find out if they just don’t want to do it.

2. Get the contract set before you go out. That means signed and in effect, at least for the trial period.

3. Do a trial period! That means either party can do a “No harm, no foul, but this just isn’t working out for me” anything during that time period. Mine are always at least one week and one weekend and up to two months if it’s a variable schedule/has lots of on call or travel.

4. Family pays relocation at the beginning of the trial. If I leave during the trial, family pays for me to go back. If I stay, when I leave later, I only pay for my relocation costs if I’m at fault or I’m choosing to end the position (never happens).

5. Your contract should include specifics about your room and board, and if they are writing it into your pay, be aware that you may owe taxes on it. Legally, they can only do that if you’re given a choice between live in and live out, and the room and board is only for your benefit. If live in is a condition of your employment, they can’t tell the IRS that it’s part of your pay.

6. Look them up online before you go out to them! If they don’t seem to have enough money to pay you, red flag!

7. Even as a brand new live in nanny, I’ve never made $200. My pay has ranged from $350 (20 hours of flex time) to $1,200 (24/5). Find a family that values what you do.

8. While I find paying for my own food with a set amount from the family (or higher pay and nothing earmarked for food), some nannies don’t like that. I tend to avoid it if there are preteen or teens, because my food disappears, and nobody knows who ate it.