Nanny quit

[Anonymous]

I went through a separation and I admit I probably asked for advice and support from my nanny more than what was right.
I was crying to her over ex DH and then a few weeks on I met an amazing guy. We have been together five months and it is wonderful.
I haven't told my nanny about it but have left cards around the place from him.
Nanny said she was quitting yesterday, I asked why and she said she was worried about job security as she knows I am in a new relationship and there was talk of relocating in one of the cards.
We aren't doing that anytime soon and I kind of wish she hadn't looked at the cards and jumped to conclusions.
She seemed cold about it and I need advise on whether I can get her to stay.

[Anonymous]

Whether you can get her to stay is to up to her. I can understand why she quit. You didn't tell her anything but made sure she found out by leaving cards around? She can't trust you to have a conversation with her and she can't put her life on hold while you're making plans that will eventually leave her unemployed. Why the passive aggressive drama? I would have quit too.

[Anonymous]

Why would you leave cards around - especially one that spoke of you relocating?!

Really classless, OP. You sound like a total flake. I don’t blame your nanny for leaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you leave cards around - especially one that spoke of you relocating?!

Really classless, OP. You sound like a total flake. I don’t blame your nanny for leaving.

The nanny is one who is classless snooping around and reading some one else's letters! Be glad the nanny quit you don't want such a person around the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you leave cards around - especially one that spoke of you relocating?!

Really classless, OP. You sound like a total flake. I don’t blame your nanny for leaving.

The nanny is one who is classless snooping around and reading some one else's letters! Be glad the nanny quit you don't want such a person around the house.

They were cards on display. If they are out, no one reading them is “snooping”.

And OP does sound like a flake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went through a separation and I admit I probably asked for advice and support from my nanny more than what was right.
I was crying to her over ex DH and then a few weeks on I met an amazing guy. We have been together five months and it is wonderful.
I haven't told my nanny about it but have left cards around the place from him.
Nanny said she was quitting yesterday, I asked why and she said she was worried about job security as she knows I am in a new relationship and there was talk of relocating in one of the cards.
We aren't doing that anytime soon and I kind of wish she hadn't looked at the cards and jumped to conclusions.
She seemed cold about it and I need advise on whether I can get her to stay.

Offer her a year contract. Pay or play - if you end up moving before the year, you pay the full annual salary remaining.

[Anonymous]

OP here and I admit I just didn't think when I was putting the cards out.
I feel she judges me a bit for moving on so quick so her going is probably for the best but it is sad as she has been very good as a nanny and my kids love her/she has been supportive to them through all this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I admit I just didn't think when I was putting the cards out.
I feel she judges me a bit for moving on so quick so her going is probably for the best but it is sad as she has been very good as a nanny and my kids love her/she has been supportive to them through all this.

Everyone judges you for moving on so quickly, OP. Rebounding isn’t good. And your children lost a good nanny due to your carelessness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I admit I just didn't think when I was putting the cards out.
I feel she judges me a bit for moving on so quick so her going is probably for the best but it is sad as she has been very good as a nanny and my kids love her/she has been supportive to them through all this.

Of course she’s concerned about the effects this relationship will have on the kids. HOWEVER! You left cards around that seemed to spell dissatisfaction with her performance! That’s exactly what passive aggressive employers do: instead of bringing up issues (which may or may not be something the employee should fix), they leave subtle “hints.” I was fired two weeks after an employer scrawled “dust me” on the back of his dusty tv, because I didn’t clean it... It wasn’t in my contract to clean except after kids, I was already caring for 4 kids 5 and under (and ALL kid tasks, including cooking meals for non-work days, which had not been negotiated in either), and while I saw it? I also saw the writing on the wall, that this man would never be pleased with what I was able to do with his children, which I HAD been hired to do. So, if she’s had a past employer like mine? I would have given you the benefit of the doubt for maybe a week before I started looking, to see if you talked like you did before separating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went through a separation and I admit I probably asked for advice and support from my nanny more than what was right.
I was crying to her over ex DH and then a few weeks on I met an amazing guy. We have been together five months and it is wonderful.
I haven't told my nanny about it but have left cards around the place from him.
Nanny said she was quitting yesterday, I asked why and she said she was worried about job security as she knows I am in a new relationship and there was talk of relocating in one of the cards.
We aren't doing that anytime soon and I kind of wish she hadn't looked at the cards and jumped to conclusions.
She seemed cold about it and I need advise on whether I can get her to stay.

Offer her a year contract. Pay or play - if you end up moving before the year, you pay the full annual salary remaining.

This.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know what’s worse. You crying to your nanny about your ex husband or that you left cards out for her to learn about your new man.

[Anonymous]

In my defense I wasn't really thinking when I put the cards out.
I tried talking to her but it didn't work. She said she is hurt that I didn't tell her about the new relationship as I had been confiding in her about my ex for months. There is nothing more that can be said or done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my defense I wasn't really thinking when I put the cards out.
I tried talking to her but it didn't work. She said she is hurt that I didn't tell her about the new relationship as I had been confiding in her about my ex for months. There is nothing more that can be said or done.

Live and learn. Not a great idea to leave personal cards around but a really stupid reason for her to quite unless she has another job lined up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my defense I wasn't really thinking when I put the cards out.
I tried talking to her but it didn't work. She said she is hurt that I didn't tell her about the new relationship as I had been confiding in her about my ex for months. There is nothing more that can be said or done.

You made her a friend when you needed a friend and the cut her out when you were happy/ didn’t need her. You hurt her. I understand why she quit.

[Anonymous]

She didn't have another job lined up.
I didn't drop her as a friend I just started healing and I am sad she has taken it all as she has but it is what it is.