Setting up play dates

[Anonymous]

I am the nanny for a nearly three-year-old who is now attending a morning preschool. In her class, I seem to be the only nanny. My charge would like to have play dates with a few classmates but I am hesitant as I don’t think the mothers would be interested in hanging out with a nanny.

WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Simple. Just do what you and the parents think is best for the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Simple. Just do what you and the parents think is best for the child.

OP here. Play dates would be fun for my charge. My point is that I am not sure mothers would want to come if it is just me - the nanny - and not my charge’s mother.

[Anonymous]

So set up play dates by talking with nannies from the park, nannies from other classes at the preschool, etc. btdt, you can’t force sahp to associate with nannies and APs, but you also won’t know if you don’t ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So set up play dates by talking with nannies from the park, nannies from other classes at the preschool, etc. btdt, you can’t force sahp to associate with nannies and APs, but you also won’t know if you don’t ask.

OP here. My charge has specifically asked for two girls from her preschool class to come over. We do have other play dates with nannies and my former charge’s. My my charge really wants these two girls to come over (one at a time).

I will ask the mothers but I feel I should mention that my charge’s mother will not be home.

[Anonymous]

My charge also constantly asks to have play dates with kids in his class. I’m also the only nanny. The preschool program is meant to be for children with low income families and it never fills up because the area the school is in is not low income. So most parents in the class SAM or work. Or grandparents handle pick up/drop off. I also think that the SAHP wouldn’t want to spend time with me.

You could also suggest the SAHP to drop off the child at your MB/DBs house if they’re comfortable with that. Or you could just try setting up play dates with nannies you met elsewhere. I would meet a ton of nannies at parks and story times at the library.

[Anonymous]

Does this class system really exist?! One of my favorite people on the planet is an older nanny (I am a SAHM). I don’t understand why you think a mother would not want to spend time with a nanny unless there was a language barrier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Simple. Just do what you and the parents think is best for the child.

OP here. Play dates would be fun for my charge. My point is that I am not sure mothers would want to come if it is just me - the nanny - and not my charge’s mother.

As a nanny I’ve never had this issue . I always make a friend or 2 and I’m not a social person. Just because your a nanny doesn’t mean you aren’t a person. It doesn’t hurt to ask. Maybe have the first play date be at a park so it’s not so awkward .

[Anonymous]

I can see where you are coming from on this OP.

I think there will be some parents who may prefer a parent be around to supervise vs. a Nanny.

Re:
The two girls in your charge’s preschool class.
I would let your boss know that her child would like a play date w/these two children & ask her if she could possibly contact the parents personally.

If the family is okay w/you being in the home during play dates, then that would be great.
If not, then perhaps they can arrange a mutual time when your boss can be present.

Either way, at least you do not have to be (or the other girl’s parents!) in an awkward position while asking.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Some moms will not socialize with nannies, but you haven’t even tried with these classmates parents yet, so why don’t you start there. Instead of justifying all the reasons why it won’t work, just give it a try. I like to choose a specific last night and let their parent or caregiver know that my charge has mentioned doing X with them at school and that we would love to get them together outside of school. Occasionally, you’ll run into people who are not interested in dealing with that help, but I find that many parents appreciate someone else taking the initiative to set up these kinds of things because they want their kids to have play dates with classmates as well.

[Anonymous]

I think you might be making assumptions about us SAHMs, OP. I would have no problem having a play date with a nanny! The hottest play date invite in our old neighborhood was getting invited to this one older nanny’s play date - she was a former preschool teacher and always had the coolest stuff set up for the kids to do.

I will echo the language issue however. If you are fluent and comfortable in English, being the mother or the nanny would make no difference to me.

As us, OP!

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine any nanny IRL worrying about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can see where you are coming from on this OP.

I think there will be some parents who may prefer a parent be around to supervise vs. a Nanny.

Re:
The two girls in your charge’s preschool class.
I would let your boss know that her child would like a play date w/these two children & ask her if she could possibly contact the parents personally.

If the family is okay w/you being in the home during play dates, then that would be great.
If not, then perhaps they can arrange a mutual time when your boss can be present.

Either way, at least you do not have to be (or the other girl’s parents!) in an awkward position while asking.

Good luck!

This makes the nanny sound incompetent. Asking permission? Having her boss set up a playdate?
PLEASE don't do this, OP. It's awful advice.

If you're concerned about putting the parents in an awkward spot, leave a note in their child's backpack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine any nanny IRL worrying about this.

I can. I was when my charge started preschool. Parents use playdates to get to know each other in new school. Plus my charge’s school is Jewish and I am not. Turned out not to be a huge issue but it was a concern.

OP, just set up the play date making clear that it is your invitation.