Nanny is in charge

[Anonymous]

I am the grandmother. When I go to visit my grandchild when my son and DIL aren’t there, the nanny is very much in charge. My son and DIL support this.

Example: I want to go to the park with my grandchild. Nanny said that my grandchild has been at school all morning and she wants to keep her home to play.

I have to ask to do everything.

Is this the norm?

[Anonymous]

It should be the norm, kudos to the parents for supporting the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I don’t mean to be mean but when my in laws stay with us it has in the past completely screwed up my kids schedule. The nanny is in charge because she knows the day to day so that sleep/ etc isn’t thrown off.

[Anonymous]

Nanny should be in charge.

[Anonymous]

I personally would feel great about you taking the child to the park.

It would give me some downtime.

Unless of course, if I had to come along.

Then no way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally would feel great about you taking the child to the park.

It would give me some downtime.

Unless of course, if I had to come along.

Then no way.

That is not the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the grandmother. When I go to visit my grandchild when my son and DIL aren’t there, the nanny is very much in charge. My son and DIL support this.

Example: I want to go to the park with my grandchild. Nanny said that my grandchild has been at school all morning and she wants to keep her home to play.

I have to ask to do everything.

Is this the norm?

It is the norm in our home, OP. It is how I want it. The nanny knows our child’s moods, schedule and immediate needs - my mother doesn’t. You wanted to go to the park but the nanny knew your grandchyneeded some home/downtime.

Isn’t it a good thing that your grandchild has someone who puts her needs first?

[Anonymous]

Jeezus you people are nuts. Grandma wants to take the child to the park, for crying out loud. She's not looking to take her on a 4 hour car ride.

I get that the nanny is in charge, but the nanny has no common sense.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My nanny is with the kids five days a week, all day. The nanny KNOWS them, in a way you, who comes once a month at most, doesn't.

The nanny knows that there's a muddy area at the park where the kids like to play and they won't want to take a bath after they get home.

The nanny knows that there's a kid who bullies mine who goes to the park at this time of day.

The nanny knows the kids like to run and hide in the bushes and will be quick enough to grab them before they are hidden, but you won't.

The nanny knows the younger one is in a run-away phase and the park isn't fenced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally would feel great about you taking the child to the park.

It would give me some downtime.

Unless of course, if I had to come along.

Then no way.

That is not the point.

Then please explain the point.
Seems pretty cut + dry to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My nanny is with the kids five days a week, all day. The nanny KNOWS them, in a way you, who comes once a month at most, doesn't.

The nanny knows that there's a muddy area at the park where the kids like to play and they won't want to take a bath after they get home.

The nanny knows that there's a kid who bullies mine who goes to the park at this time of day.

The nanny knows the kids like to run and hide in the bushes and will be quick enough to grab them before they are hidden, but you won't.

The nanny knows the younger one is in a run-away phase and the park isn't fenced.

You seem to be anxiety-ridden? There's a way to approach life - worst case scenario kind of person or not. Sadly you are the former.

Even with all those things in mind (as neurotic as they are), the nanny can accompany the child and grandma to the park. We're not splitting atoms here or solving for world peace, folks...we're going to the park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jeezus you people are nuts. Grandma wants to take the child to the park, for crying out loud. She's not looking to take her on a 4 hour car ride.

I get that the nanny is in charge, but the nanny has no common sense.

Nanny knows what the child needs in the moment. That is more than common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeezus you people are nuts. Grandma wants to take the child to the park, for crying out loud. She's not looking to take her on a 4 hour car ride.

I get that the nanny is in charge, but the nanny has no common sense.

Nanny knows what the child needs in the moment. That is more than common sense.

Lol, again. Grandma is asking to take her to the park. For a kid, that's actually healthier than staying indoors. Is it remotely possible that nanny doesn't always know best? Maybe nanny hates going to the park b/c it's hot out or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally would feel great about you taking the child to the park.

It would give me some downtime.

Unless of course, if I had to come along.

Then no way.

That is not the point.

Then please explain the point.
Seems pretty cut + dry to me.

Is the nanny is charge of the child over grandparents or others who visit.

When someone gives an example of a problem, it is to illustrate the point or the question- not tone answered in specifics. That is what makes it an example of the problem. How you would handle the example is irrelevant.

Seriously, not complicated.

[Anonymous]

Who do you think should be in charge? You? Are you going to take over all the nanny's duties for the day? Because if she's working, she's in charge. I've heard of lots of problems where nannies are expected to defer to grandparents, and it makes their jobs much harder. You might disagree with the nanny's call, and your might be totally reasonable to do so, but she's the one responsible for the kids.