DB Is driving Me Batty!

[Anonymous]

Hi all. I’m a nanny for 2 little kids. The oldest is in preschool and takes a lunch. Everyday, the mom has to know exactly what was eaten. She flips out if the child hasn’t consumed ALL of her food. I send the child a healthy lunch with various different things. She’s at school. I can not control what has been consumed and in what order. There’s only a certain amount of time and if something is left behind who cares?

The mom has a history of an eating disorder. She’s recently gone off her meds. Things have been stressful and hellish in this house. The things she has said about her children and husband is seriously driving me over the edge.

I’m staying for these poor two kids . If wasn’t for them I’d be the hell out of here. When I see her name on my phone I seriously want to scream! On the weekends, I put her on DND. Yes, it’s that BAD!

I suppose I’m just venting. I’m not 100% I’ve made a lot of sense! I’ve never in 22 years of nannying experienced such madness! I’m very understanding of mental illness. I just can only take so much!

I’ll stop the rambling! But thank you for listening...er reading!

[Anonymous]

Title should read: MB Driving me batty!

[Anonymous]

You need to request a sit-down with both parents:

“I know how concerned you are about Larla eating her full lunch each day. Unfortunately, I cannot supervise her meals now that she is in school. I think we should have an overall conversation about how we handle meals and nutrition now that she is spending part of the day at home.”

Supply them with information from credible sources on how many calories per day, how many servings of each food group, and how to talk about food in a healthy way (Mayo clinic and healthychildren.org can be good places to start).

This does a few things:
1) Presents them with resources on how to manage food in a healthy (emotionally AND physically) way
2) Calls out the issue in front of DB because he may not be seeing MB’s behavior change
3) Gives everyone a chance to have a frank conversation

If she flips out, then you know that you need to either accept that this behavior will go in indefinitely or move on to a new job.

I will add, as a nanny you are a mandated reporter of child abuse. If you have any suspicions that she is withholding food from the children, you must report it to CPS.

[Anonymous]

You are very kind to stay for the children. God bless you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to request a sit-down with both parents:

“I know how concerned you are about Larla eating her full lunch each day. Unfortunately, I cannot supervise her meals now that she is in school. I think we should have an overall conversation about how we handle meals and nutrition now that she is spending part of the day at home.”

Supply them with information from credible sources on how many calories per day, how many servings of each food group, and how to talk about food in a healthy way (Mayo clinic and healthychildren.org can be good places to start).

This does a few things:
1) Presents them with resources on how to manage food in a healthy (emotionally AND physically) way
2) Calls out the issue in front of DB because he may not be seeing MB’s behavior change
3) Gives everyone a chance to have a frank conversation

If she flips out, then you know that you need to either accept that this behavior will go in indefinitely or move on to a new job.

I will add, as a nanny you are a mandated reporter of child abuse. If you have any suspicions that she is withholding food from the children, you must report it to CPS.

This is great advice, OP.

[Anonymous]

Poor kid. Sometimes lunch isnt very long and they dont have time to finish. I'd offer the rest of her lunch as a snack after school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Poor kid. Sometimes lunch isnt very long and they dont have time to finish. I'd offer the rest of her lunch as a snack after school

Thanks all! That’s my thought. I’m assuming she eats what she really loves first and then part of the sandwich etc is left. My mom worked as a teacher for 30 years She also agrees it is the time situation.

The child was diagnosed with mild autism a couple of years ago. Several therapists have spoken with the parents regarding their (her)food expectations. The outcome is always the same . Therapist states after observing there is no food issue but she’s still flipping out. I have no problems when the child is in my care. It’s all very exhausting! It’s a cycle which never ends!

If I thought there was abuse of any kind, I’d definitely report it.