Another Child For The Day

[Anonymous]

My situation is different than most shares (not going in to details), however, I have a family that wants me to watch their child during the hours I take care of the other two- no problem. She suggested that she would pay me what she paid her previous nanny (who was also in a share) and I declined and told her that she would be charged at my babysitting rate (not a share rate) because your child is not a part of this share. I also quoted her at a lower rate because I have been around her child and she’s a sweet little girl- I didn’t tell her that though. I’m okay if she declines but wanted to hear from other nannies if they’ve been in this situation. I look at it as more responsibility, it’s not permanent, I already have two that are going through the potty training phase and I don’t have transportation for 3 kids- so we may be stuck in the house for 10.5 hours.

Side note: I quoted her at the same rate in the past when she needed my help and she agreed, so not sure why the sudden change but then again, she only needed me for a couple of hours and this time a full day.

[Anonymous]

As long as your other share families are okay with it, I think it’s fine. I also think her thought process is totally fine.

[Anonymous]

Sounds fair as long as the other parents are ok with it.

[Anonymous]

Im not mad at her for thinking that way and in some cases that may be how it works. I’m not sure, I just feel it’s fair for me. She agreed btw but still wanted to hear from nannies.

The share families are okay with it. They actually told me I don’t have to ask about watching the other kids in the neighborhood or play dates, but I think it’s just the polite thing to do and inform them when someone enters their home even if it is kids.

[Anonymous]

If it meant my kid was stuck indoors for the day for a nonshare kid, I wouldn’t be okay with it at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it meant my kid was stuck indoors for the day for a nonshare kid, I wouldn’t be okay with it at all.

It’s not always about you. The nanny now has to keep all 3 kids entertained (if they’re inside all day), create activities etc. It’s a lot of work. Have you cared for 3 toddlers, simultaneously? How’d that go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it meant my kid was stuck indoors for the day for a nonshare kid, I wouldn’t be okay with it at all.

It’s not always about you. The nanny now has to keep all 3 kids entertained (if they’re inside all day), create activities etc. It’s a lot of work. Have you cared for 3 toddlers, simultaneously? How’d that go?

I'm not the PP you quoted...
But the share families are paying the rate of a 2 way share and getting the quality/ratio of a 3 way share. I guess if those families are ok with that, more power to the nanny. There is no way I'd stand for that though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it meant my kid was stuck indoors for the day for a nonshare kid, I wouldn’t be okay with it at all.

It’s not always about you. The nanny now has to keep all 3 kids entertained (if they’re inside all day), create activities etc. It’s a lot of work. Have you cared for 3 toddlers, simultaneously? How’d that go?

I'm not the PP you quoted...
But the share families are paying the rate of a 2 way share and getting the quality/ratio of a 3 way share. I guess if those families are ok with that, more power to the nanny. There is no way I'd stand for that though.

It's one day- no major changes are about to happen. And my share families don't even pay the same amount.

But I have a question.....

If you were in a share and your nanny was fully capable of taking care of 3 children for ONE day and say you were paying $10 a piece ($20 per hour) you would be so desperate to pay $6 per hour for ONE day? Not to mention, you think it would be okay for your nanny to make $20 an hour for 3 children? Even if your nannies rate was $25, that is still low for 3 children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it meant my kid was stuck indoors for the day for a nonshare kid, I wouldn’t be okay with it at all.

It’s not always about you. The nanny now has to keep all 3 kids entertained (if they’re inside all day), create activities etc. It’s a lot of work. Have you cared for 3 toddlers, simultaneously? How’d that go?

I'm not the PP you quoted...
But the share families are paying the rate of a 2 way share and getting the quality/ratio of a 3 way share. I guess if those families are ok with that, more power to the nanny. There is no way I'd stand for that though.

It's one day- no major changes are about to happen. And my share families don't even pay the same amount.

But I have a question.....

If you were in a share and your nanny was fully capable of taking care of 3 children for ONE day and say you were paying $10 a piece ($20 per hour) you would be so desperate to pay $6 per hour for ONE day? Not to mention, you think it would be okay for your nanny to make $20 an hour for 3 children? Even if your nannies rate was $25, that is still low for 3 children.

Op didn’t make it clear that this was just one day. She said “it’s not permanent.” I took that to mean it would be going on for several weeks, at least.

Regardless, I would not want a share with 3 children from 3 families, especially when one was not someone I got to choose, but chosen for me by the nanny. If I wanted multiple random children in the same care, a day care would be a better option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it meant my kid was stuck indoors for the day for a nonshare kid, I wouldn’t be okay with it at all.

It’s not always about you. The nanny now has to keep all 3 kids entertained (if they’re inside all day), create activities etc. It’s a lot of work. Have you cared for 3 toddlers, simultaneously? How’d that go?

The nanny is taking this on voluntarily. I would not be in favor of her being stretched and confined to the house with three toddlers, hence my response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it meant my kid was stuck indoors for the day for a nonshare kid, I wouldn’t be okay with it at all.

It’s not always about you. The nanny now has to keep all 3 kids entertained (if they’re inside all day), create activities etc. It’s a lot of work. Have you cared for 3 toddlers, simultaneously? How’d that go?

I'm not the PP you quoted...
But the share families are paying the rate of a 2 way share and getting the quality/ratio of a 3 way share. I guess if those families are ok with that, more power to the nanny. There is no way I'd stand for that though.

It's one day- no major changes are about to happen. And my share families don't even pay the same amount.

But I have a question.....

If you were in a share and your nanny was fully capable of taking care of 3 children for ONE day and say you were paying $10 a piece ($20 per hour) you would be so desperate to pay $6 per hour for ONE day? Not to mention, you think it would be okay for your nanny to make $20 an hour for 3 children? Even if your nannies rate was $25, that is still low for 3 children.

Op didn’t make it clear that this was just one day. She said “it’s not permanent.” I took that to mean it would be going on for several weeks, at least.

Regardless, I would not want a share with 3 children from 3 families, especially when one was not someone I got to choose, but chosen for me by the nanny. If I wanted multiple random children in the same care, a day care would be a better option.

Then you should have asked me to clarify- when you say not permanent how many days/weeks/months are we talking. I was saying it like it’s not like it’s forever but I’ll take that one. However, the child is not random and like I mentioned, I know the girl and she has been out with us before. Secondly, you would decline a family because the nanny (help) picked them and not even consider to get to know the family or even offer a trial period to see how it goes?


FYI for the age I’m talking about, your kid would be surrounded by far more than 3 random children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it meant my kid was stuck indoors for the day for a nonshare kid, I wouldn’t be okay with it at all.

It’s not always about you. The nanny now has to keep all 3 kids entertained (if they’re inside all day), create activities etc. It’s a lot of work. Have you cared for 3 toddlers, simultaneously? How’d that go?

The nanny is taking this on voluntarily. I would not be in favor of her being stretched and confined to the house with three toddlers, hence my response.

If I am fine with it and you know all the kids will be safe and have a fun filled day, what’s the problem? It’s no different if it’s too cold, hot, snowing etc and we can’t go out. Whether 1 day or 5 days. I’ve been in situations where we haven’t been outside in weeks due to the weather, both in a share and in a classroom with 12 kids and 2 adults- we will manage. However, with us possibly being limited to where we go and how long we stay out is ONE factor that made me decide to charge my babysitting rate, not to mention her “share rate” is less than what I get paid.

[Anonymous]

Of course you’re fine with it - you’re getting more money. You’re failing to see it from a parent’s perspective, which is what the PP is noting - the share parents are getting less than they bargain/pay for in that you are watching a third kid/dividing your attention further; the share children are being limited in their excursions not by the weather, but by a third child; and the parents did not vet the family/child, which is usually something share participants do. If your share families are okay with paying the same for this situation, lucky you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it meant my kid was stuck indoors for the day for a nonshare kid, I wouldn’t be okay with it at all.

It’s not always about you. The nanny now has to keep all 3 kids entertained (if they’re inside all day), create activities etc. It’s a lot of work. Have you cared for 3 toddlers, simultaneously? How’d that go?

Which is EXACTLY why most share families would not agree to a third child tagging along while they are paying for a two-child share.

[Anonymous]

Seems fine if the share families are both on board with it too, but you would need to set the third family's rate high enough that you can then discount the two share family rates for the day and still make whatever you're hoping to make at the end. If you charge at a babysitting rate, that probably covers you.