Playdate or Nannydate?

[Anonymous]

6 yo is tired after her new school 8am to 3pm. School started two weeks ago. Little sis is almost 4 yo and not napping for first time well. I'd like them to decompress from 3 or 4pm onward at home.

Nanny found a friend from her home country from another kid's class and is going over there all the time for "playdates" after school or sports practices.

6 yo does not want to do playdates after elementary school with her little sister's new "friend" and his baby sister. Nanny seems to be taking them there, or vice versa, 3-4 times a week and 6 yo is very bored. Nannies just chat to each other and play with baby.

Has anyone else's nanny prioritized socializing with nanny friends over rest time or children relaxing? We will have to have this discussion again with her. 6 yo keeps telling us exactly what is happening.

[Anonymous]

We had this problem. Just plot out the new school year schedule and when playdates fit in or not. Too many changes and no unwind time makes for whiny kids at 6pm.

Nanny should be doing what's best for YOUR kids, not someone else's kids (i.e. after their nap come over, nevermind your kids have been going going going since 7am).

[Anonymous]

Ask the Nanny to keep playdates to once a week while the 6yo has school. I wouldnt restrict entirely, Maybe the other Nanny can come to your house once a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask the Nanny to keep playdates to once a week while the 6yo has school. I wouldnt restrict entirely, Maybe the other Nanny can come to your house once a week.

Oh they come, she comes from 3pm to 5:30pm and they chat the whole time in native tongue. 6 yo just roams around the house. Can see and hear this right on the security camera.

[Anonymous]

She's probably bored. Think about it.

[Anonymous]

No. Our nanny would never do this.

[Anonymous]

I think that a bored Nanny will become a burned-out Nanny eventually.

It is very important to keep your Nanny happy w/her job if she truly is a gem to your family.

That being said - You also need your children happy + rested too.

I would suggest a compromise here.
The Nanny can visit w/her other Nanny peer 2x/wk max.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that a bored Nanny will become a burned-out Nanny eventually.

It is very important to keep your Nanny happy w/her job if she truly is a gem to your family.

That being said - You also need your children happy + rested too.

I would suggest a compromise here.
The Nanny can visit w/her other Nanny peer 2x/wk max.

I am a nanny and I totally disagree with this. The nanny is working. Her job is to put the children first - not her desire to socialize!! Who wouldn’t want to hang out with friends for two hours a day during the workday?

Your six year old is not happy, not learning and feeling left out. The play dates stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that a bored Nanny will become a burned-out Nanny eventually.

It is very important to keep your Nanny happy w/her job if she truly is a gem to your family.

That being said - You also need your children happy + rested too.

I would suggest a compromise here.
The Nanny can visit w/her other Nanny peer 2x/wk max.

I am a nanny and I totally disagree with this. The nanny is working. Her job is to put the children first - not her desire to socialize!! Who wouldn’t want to hang out with friends for two hours a day during the workday?

Your six year old is not happy, not learning and feeling left out. The play dates stop.

I recognize you. You aren't a nanny at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that a bored Nanny will become a burned-out Nanny eventually.

It is very important to keep your Nanny happy w/her job if she truly is a gem to your family.

That being said - You also need your children happy + rested too.

I would suggest a compromise here.
The Nanny can visit w/her other Nanny peer 2x/wk max.

I am a nanny and I totally disagree with this. The nanny is working. Her job is to put the children first - not her desire to socialize!! Who wouldn’t want to hang out with friends for two hours a day during the workday?

Your six year old is not happy, not learning and feeling left out. The play dates stop.

I recognize you. You aren't a nanny at all.

I am a nanny. Send me your contact info and I will prove it to you.

Unlike you, I just happen to be a good nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6 yo is tired after her new school 8am to 3pm. School started two weeks ago. Little sis is almost 4 yo and not napping for first time well. I'd like them to decompress from 3 or 4pm onward at home.

Nanny found a friend from her home country from another kid's class and is going over there all the time for "playdates" after school or sports practices.

6 yo does not want to do playdates after elementary school with her little sister's new "friend" and his baby sister. Nanny seems to be taking them there, or vice versa, 3-4 times a week and 6 yo is very bored. Nannies just chat to each other and play with baby.

Has anyone else's nanny prioritized socializing with nanny friends over rest time or children relaxing? We will have to have this discussion again with her. 6 yo keeps telling us exactly what is happening.

What is nanny doing while 6 yo is in school? Why doesn't she have the playdates then? If baby is napping, they can be at that house and let the 4 yos play.
That being said, 3-4 times a week is absurd and far too frequent. Twice a week max.

[Anonymous]

Not gonna lie, I get bored a lot at work BUT I always make sure my charges are well rested and focus on their schedule instead of my social life. It’s called days off for a reason.

[Anonymous]

That needs to be nipped in the bud quickly. I suggest limiting "play dates" for your nanny to once a week, and reminding her that she needs to focus on helping your older kid recharge after school. That means actually interacting with the child!

If you can also figure out a time the 4yo kids can get together while 6yo is in school, that would be an even better once a week solution.

You could also (if you have already revisited your expectations on this issue) talk with her again and put her on probation. Make her duties very clear and make it clear that she needs to show you that she chooses to focus on her work, not her social life, when you are paying her.

I also suggest starting to ramp up for a nanny search, since I doubt your nanny is going to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that a bored Nanny will become a burned-out Nanny eventually.

It is very important to keep your Nanny happy w/her job if she truly is a gem to your family.

That being said - You also need your children happy + rested too.

I would suggest a compromise here.
The Nanny can visit w/her other Nanny peer 2x/wk max.

Ridiculous! Nanny has children to take care of- no time to be bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that a bored Nanny will become a burned-out Nanny eventually.

It is very important to keep your Nanny happy w/her job if she truly is a gem to your family.

That being said - You also need your children happy + rested too.

I would suggest a compromise here.
The Nanny can visit w/her other Nanny peer 2x/wk max.

Ridiculous! Nanny has children to take care of- no time to be bored.

You're being stupid on purpose?