Au Pair for an infant?
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Anonymous
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We're hosting an au pair for the first time for our 5 year old son, and are soon due with a second baby. This first year with an au pair has gone well, but I've been a bit unsure how I feel about hosting an au pair to care for an infant. We're trying to decide if we'll go the au pair route again (which has been so great for flexibility), consider alternative child care options, or if I'll just stay home for a bit until the baby is older. For those of you who have had au pairs with infants, what has been your experience? What qualities do you look for in an au pair to care for both an infant and older child (who will be in school for part of the time, but also at home?)
I work mostly from an office or meeting with clients, but do have some flexibility and work from home options. Thank you! |
Anonymous
| For a small babybyou need a professional nanny. Aupairs are only good for older kids who can talk and tell you when something is wrong. |
Anonymous
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I am a former Au Pair and professional nanny.
I think it can be tough for a young woman to care for an infant + a 5 yo. But it's totally doable if you find someone with daycare experience or a big sister with younger siblings. Someone that will manage a crying baby without getting nuts ... and having a 5 yo on the side that needs attention as well. It'd work great if you and your husband can manage some school drop offs/picks up so that the AP can be fully in charge of the baby. And maybe arrange for a lighter week when your 5 yo is out of school. Maybe shorter days? |
Anonymous
| We had an au pair for our 4yo and infant twins. We only searched for girls 25+ with previous infant experience. We ended up with amazing extension au pair who also took care of infant in her first year. Just don't forget au pair can't be in solo charge until your baby is 3 months old! |
Anonymous
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I have been an Au Pair of infants, including twins, a few times (in different countries) and just about to go to California to care for a 3 months old baby.
I am much better and comfortable looking after babies and toddlers than I am older kids, but not every Au Pair is. I would look at someone who has a lot of experience looking after babies. Ask a lot of questions about her experience and what she would do in potential scenarios, make sure she knows CPR and what to do in case the baby chock on food or other things he/she may find on the floor as I have been in the position where it was very much needed and I am so thankful I knew how to react in a quick and efficient manner. There is no reason why an Au Pair can't look after a baby. I have so far looked after way more babies and toddlers and kids than most parents I actually join. It's about picking an Au Pair who has common sense and won't put the baby on the sofa and walk away to answer the door and who knows how to establish a routine for the baby and keep with it. In my last family (who I have just left) I was looking after a 3 months old and a 3 yo (they are now 1 and 4yo) and it never was a problem. Your 5yo will be old enough that he can stay in a room for a few minutes playing while she changes the baby or put him to bed (though you might want to give her the freedom to put him a short cartoon episode so you know he is focused on it and not left at his own devices to tear the house apart), he will also get 1-on-1 time with her when the baby sleeps etc... but you might want to suggest activities she can do with both and be more flexible in terms of what she is allowed to do with them when she has both as the age gap and the baby needing to follow a strict routine might make finding adequate activities difficults. Make sure you have a week handover before she starts full-time so you can show her your routine and how you deal with a whole range of situations and deal with both kids at once and so you can be looking after one of the kids while she bonds with the other. |
Anonymous
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We currently have an au pair who is taking care of our 6 yo, 4 yo and 5 month old baby. She starting working with us two months before I delivered, and it was the best decision to have an au pair with an infant. First of all, it was a stress reliever to know that she would be able to take care of our kids in the event I went into labor. And she did just that, with my husband coming back home once my mom was able to fly in and stay with me at the hospital (they switched off).
I was home for 3 months, so I was able to slowly get the au pair acquainted with our baby and her particular ways. Because of the 3 month rule, she wasn't able to watch the baby by herself, but she helped out by watching her while I was napping in the next room, washed bottles, etc. Our kids adore her and it has been such a huge help. We looked for someone with lots of infant experience and multiples experience (watching more than 2 kids at a time). For us, au pair was more helpful than nanny (having had a nanny for 6 years). |
Anonymous
What agency did you find her with and how did you convince her to match with you?? I ask that with zero snark - I seriously want to know! I have 2.5 year old twins who are in school half the day and I had THE hardest time even getting girls to agree to interview with me. I was told that all year 2’s want California and only 1 kid but you found someone who was ok with 3 kids including infant twins? Color me impressed 
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Anonymous
PP here. We are with APIA. Honestly? I think I was just lucky. Our au pair spent her first year in Cali. I believe East coast girls usually want to extend in "dreamy" California. She has to work full 45 hrs every week but has weekends off and she can use her car as she pleases. Althought we don't pay for her gas. She told us she didn't have weekends off in Cali and it was what she was looking for in her extension year. She also said she actually prefers younger kids because it gives her stable schedule. |
Anonymous
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We had a great AP for our infant as did our friends. There are gems out there.
Our previous AP only wants children under 3, with a preference for infants. |
Anonymous
| I am a single parent to an infant, and I had multiple APs who wanted to match. |
Anonymous
| We had an Au pair when my older son was an infant (6-18 months) and she was amazing. Way better than the 2 nannies we tried before her. Absolutely doable. |
Anonymous
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We did this. Had an AP take care of our infant son (and also 3 & 5 year olds).
She happened to be one of our best au pairs ever. The AP we got to replace her stayed 2 years and was also awesome. A couple of tips: 1. We were totally forthcoming about how tough our job would be -- and used a "dare you to match with me" approach. We found we lost a lot of candidates this way, but the ones remaining seemed to be really good souls who WANTED to be needed. And God knows I needed them. 2. REALLY REALLY good English is, I think, a must. Even though the baby won't be talking much, and some people have had great luck with Thai or other au pairs, from my perspective, you need someone that you are confident understands nuanced directions -- because the baby can't fend for itself. When your au pair calls you at work and says, "the baby is sick" do you want her to be able to say "her face is flushed, I think she has a fever, and she's been squirming and uncomfortable all day" or will you feel comfortable with "the baby is sick. her face is very red." 3. Get someone who has significant infant care experience. Preferably 40 hours a week in a daycare or something taking care of infants. They do exist -- but they are harder and harder to find. good luck. Screen carefully. |
Anonymous
| Experienced ap won’t have a problem with infant care. |
Anonymous
We had a professional nanny for our small children. No way in hell would I put those critical years with a low paid imported foreign worker here to party and travel. I'm don't sacrifice what is best for my kids for convenient economics, but many people do ,so why not? |
Anonymous
You’re disgusting. |