MB draws out the goodbye

[Anonymous]

My 2.5 yr old charge is having a very hard time getting used to preschool and being without me and her mother. Her mother makes the goodbye before we leave for school take forever! She keeps trying to negotiate with my charge, promising her things that make the goodbye worse. Today my charge couldn’t calm down after her mother basically told me to pry her off her when, had we left earlier as we always do, it would have been easier on my charge

I feel bad for my charge. And pissed at MB. It’s not like MB takes every opportunity to be with her child either. She takes two date nights a week where she could stay with her child.

What can I diplomatically say to MB to make these goodbyes less painful and FASTER?

[Anonymous]

It makes the mother feel loved and needed. A very, very selfish thing to do to their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2.5 yr old charge is having a very hard time getting used to preschool and being without me and her mother. Her mother makes the goodbye before we leave for school take forever! She keeps trying to negotiate with my charge, promising her things that make the goodbye worse. Today my charge couldn’t calm down after her mother basically told me to pry her off her when, had we left earlier as we always do, it would have been easier on my charge

I feel bad for my charge. And pissed at MB. It’s not like MB takes every opportunity to be with her child either. She takes two date nights a week where she could stay with her child.

What can I diplomatically say to MB to make these goodbyes less painful and FASTER?

Your MB is an idiot. She needs to do quick goodbyes and the LAST thing you should be doing is prying her DD from her arms.

She acknowledges that the goodbyes are an issue. Why don't you present it to her as if you were brainstorming on how to make the goodbye more positive and less problematic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for my charge. And pissed at MB. It’s not like MB takes every opportunity to be with her child either. She takes two date nights a week where she could stay with her child.

What can I diplomatically say to MB to make these goodbyes less painful and FASTER?

Classic guilty mommy move; will make things harder and more drawn out/difficult on the kid to feel important while simultaneously avoiding opportunities to be with the kid. She'll never admit it of course, but that's whats happening.

You could try brainstorming about how to make the transition less difficult for Larla, but at the end of the day I doubt your MB will listen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for my charge. And pissed at MB. It’s not like MB takes every opportunity to be with her child either. She takes two date nights a week where she could stay with her child.

What can I diplomatically say to MB to make these goodbyes less painful and FASTER?

Classic guilty mommy move; will make things harder and more drawn out/difficult on the kid to feel important while simultaneously avoiding opportunities to be with the kid. She'll never admit it of course, but that's whats happening.

You could try brainstorming about how to make the transition less difficult for Larla, but at the end of the day I doubt your MB will listen.

This. Your MB is more concerned about how she herself feels than what she is doing to her child. She won’t change.

[Anonymous]

Is MB married? 2 date nights a week seem a little much and unusual for married couples. I wish I had date night twice a week!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is MB married? 2 date nights a week seem a little much and unusual for married couples. I wish I had date night twice a week!

OP here. Yes. Very happily married.

[Anonymous]

Let her know that she needs to make a “clean break” because she is not only making your job more challenging, but making things rough for her daughter as well.

Hopefully she will take heed.
If not, I would send her an email link to a reputable child-rearing website so she can read an article that backs your claim.

I know this must be tough on you OP - hopefully your MB will come to her senses sooner rather than later.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her know that she needs to make a “clean break” because she is not only making your job more challenging, but making things rough for her daughter as well.

Hopefully she will take heed.
If not, I would send her an email link to a reputable child-rearing website so she can read an article that backs your claim.

I know this must be tough on you OP - hopefully your MB will come to her senses sooner rather than later.

Good luck!

OP here. Thanks but I am honestly not worried about myself. My poor little charge is so distraught after these extended goodbyes and so worked up that it has a negative effect on her for hours. She remains very weepy even after I get her to calm down. She is such a great little kid that I hate seeing this happening to her.

[Anonymous]

Watch out, OP. If you try to suggest better ways to handle this or any situation with an insecure mother like this she will make it your fault. BTDT.

[Anonymous]

It is highly unusual OP for a child to stay so weepy long after the parent leaves.

Most children tend to settle down within minutes of the parent exiting the home.

Perhaps have a certain toy/game/puzzle available for after the Mother leaves the house.
Only use it for about a half hour afterward so it will maintain a novelty-like effect for the child.

Let us know how it goes.....