Dear Au Pairs: Take it all with you when you go

[Anonymous]

I don’t want your leftover hot chocolate mix, half full containers of cosmetics, random shit you bought and decided you couldn’t fit in your suitcase. Take it ALL with you when you go....or donate it.

I am adding something to our handbook about this next time. I don’t want to take a trip to Goodwill eaother, so why don’t you do it before you go?

Every single one has left us at least a file box of shit but the last was the worst: spices and canned Asian foods, a freezer shelf of “her” food (she was Chinese and tended to make her own meals), cosmetics that I can’t read the label, at least 50 tea bags I can’t read the label, 2 huge bags of clothes, 3-4 pairs of shoes, a bunch of other super random CRAP.

[Anonymous]

I thought you were the troll encouraging APs to steal. LOL

[Anonymous]

Throw it away. What is so hard?

[Anonymous]

I don’t want to have to make the effort of taking shit to Goodwill and filling my trash can with this crap. When you move out of a place you should leave it as you found it. Disposing of her shit should not be my responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Throw it away. What is so hard?

It is a big deal. It’s incredibly rude.

[Anonymous]

We gove them a check-out list w 2 weeks to go and it has all this, down to the goodwill trip, and specifics on what constitutes “clean” spaces.
We include hours in her last work week to take care of these things, and she doesn’t get her last stipend until they’re done (we do not withhold the pay, but she’s working in our house the last Saturday morning if it’s not done before then)

[Anonymous]

I put AP in touch with the next AP and she lets her know what she plans to leave behind and what the next one might need. With 3 daughters, I keep some of the extra clothes for my kids. Of all things that can happen with Au Pairs, I have not found this to be a hassle with our 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to have to make the effort of taking shit to Goodwill and filling my trash can with this crap.

You are aware that the AP won't want to make the effort to take it to Goodwill either and will just dump that crap in your trash can as well?

As long as the room is reasonably clean when the AP leaves I don't mind throwing out the odd bits and pieces (half a bottle of shower gel, half a box of cereal we don't eat but she did). Some things we simply leave for the next AP to come (first AP bought a couple of picture frames she left behind that all other APs used, same with a pin board somebody left behind, books, pens, maps...).

[Anonymous]

You're a peach, OP.

[Anonymous]

Agree that these leave behinds can be frustrating - my example is the huge stash of cheap hangers from Primark! But OP, you sound so embittered. Try to remember the good times with the AP and don't let this little frustration spill onto the next AP, if you have one.

[Anonymous]

I treat my au pairs as adults and expect they will behave like adults. Adults leave a space clean and empty when they permanently move out.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hope you also treat them with kindness - doesn't sound like it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that these leave behinds can be frustrating - my example is the huge stash of cheap hangers from Primark! But OP, you sound so embittered. Try to remember the good times with the AP and don't let this little frustration spill onto the next AP, if you have one.

You don’t think the next AP would use hangers?

[Anonymous]

Oh I have a check out list for this.

[Anonymous]

Yes, live and learn. Next time, have the discussion and give her check-out list. Even vacation rentals do this for older adults as a reminder. I even schedule hours in APs schedule to do this.