How to break up with a family

[Anonymous]

They’re nice enough people but the house is chaos. Constant mess, working from home, disruption galore, no discipline for the two year old and no plans to sleep train the infant. The house is a massive row house and physically I cannot keep going up and down the stairs constantly. I’ve missed a ton of work due to assorted physical ailments; none of which I had when I started. Is there a tactful way to phrase my exit? Would be sorta truthful be good or is a white lie better? I’ve been at this place nearly two years.

[Anonymous]

Lie. Of course, lie. Find another job first and use a shorter commute, or a single child, or school schedule as an excuse for why you are leaving. Telling the truth will only rank a good reference from them for the rest of your career.

[Anonymous]

No need to lie. Be truthful - "just not working out for me anymore" is a good place to start. Start looking for another gig now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No need to lie. Be truthful - "just not working out for me anymore" is a good place to start. Start looking for another gig now.

Lie!! Why in the world would you risk losing a good reference?! Surely this is not the first time in your life where you ever needed to lie! There is no upside to telling the truth for OP - absolutely nothing to be gained from it. “Just not working out for me” is cryptic and childish. And will lead the employers to ask why.
Our former nanny needed to leave us to work closer to her home so she could spend more time with her kids. I assume this is true - but it also could have been because we are disorganized and my special needs child was more than she could handle. Regardless of whether or not she was telling the truth, we gave her a glowing recommendation and she is still a very dear family friend.

[Anonymous]

Since you have been w/them for two years, you will most definitely need them as a reference.

I certainly wouldn’t tell them what you just told us!
Make a very believable excuse & part ways on good terms if you can.
No need to burn bridges here.

It would also be a good idea to be a weekend date night sitter on occasion because that will show other families that they still like you enough to still use you on occasion.

That is only if you can stand it.
And it doesn’t contradict your story of while you left.

[Anonymous]

Have you found another job yet?

[Anonymous]

1 - find another job.
2 - give a gracious amount of notice
3 - say you found an opportunity with more money, or better commute, or easier hours, or fewer stairs, or whatever - just be gracious
4 - say how much you have enjoyed working with them and their child(ren) and how you hope you can come back and visit or possibly babysit - if they're willing
5 - move on.

Don't go into details. Get your next job first and then just take the high road.

Good luck.