Realistic expectations for nanny to care for infant & toddler

[Anonymous]

Currently have a nanny and trying to assess if we need to find someone else to better meets our needs. Two working parents to infant (6months) and active toddler (22mo). I know taking care of both is super hard due to their age gaps, but I'm wondering if anyone has experience or suggestions for what is reasonable for a nanny to be able to do? Currently husband and I try to trade off taking care of baby when working from home but it is creating unbearable stress for us as we try to balance everything. What I'm trying to figure out, is do we need to try to find another person, or learn ourselves how to better manage expectations with a nanny. Any experience or suggestions would be most welcome.

[Anonymous]

What's wrong exactly ?

[Anonymous]

It would be stressful for anyone to try to work and take care of an infant. What is it that your nanny is (or isn’t) doing? How often do you work from home? It’s important for your infant (and toddler) to adhere to a schedule and if you work from home a lot, that will definitely create stress for everyone involved (if you are taking baby all the time). But we can’t help or give advice without actually knowing what the issue is.

[Anonymous]

Wait -- do you have a nanny now? And she is only watching the toddler?

Or, are you wondering if a nanny can watch both if you were to hire one? Of course she can! That is her job. She's not trying to do another job and child care at the same time.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand. Why can't the nanny do both? My girls are 19 months apart and we told the nanny it was fine for the younger one to sleep on the go for morning naps. So they'd go out for a toddler-centric morning activity which the infant slept through, then either picnic or go home for lunch, then both would do an afternoon nap.

A good nanny should have no problem handling two kids.

[Anonymous]

I’m with other pps where I don’t understand if you have a nanny and are watching the baby because she’s not capable or what the issue is. But we just went through something similar where we are about to have a second child and will have an infant and a toddler ( will have similar age gap as yours) . We just replaced our nanny because we know there is no way she could handle two. She was a good infant nanny but just isn’t great at engaging a toddler. Let alone managing two kids. So we found someone else even though she was a really nice / loving person.

[Anonymous]

Pp here meant to add that if ur paying ur nanny for 2 kids and she’s supposed to be watching two there’s no reason for you to be helping her during the day. That is insane.

[Anonymous]

Have you told the nanny that her responsibilities are for both children? My guess is that you haven’t made the boundaries and responsibilities clear. No nanny is going to take the baby out of your arms if you voluntarily go and get her.

[Anonymous]

Yes, what is the question? Do you:
A) have toddler in daycare and infant with parents and are considering a nanny

B) have toddler with nanny and infant with parents and considering a different nanny

C) have a nanny ostensibly for both kids but you are trying to help by taking the infant for large chunks of time

D) have nanny ostensibly for both but she is asking you to take the infant?

What is going on here?

As a nanny, I have cared for infant/toddler combo many times. It is totally doable if you are experienced, energetic and organized. Typically, the baby doesn’t get a great morning nap and the toddler has to learn some patience but these are not world-ending and everyone still gets better care than they would in a lot of daycares (I would argue any daycare for the infant at least).

[Anonymous]

OP, can you please give your posting some context & let us know what exactly are YOUR job expectations and how your Nanny might not be meeting them?

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

The baby/toddler combo is pretty typical and if you're having trouble finding a nanny who can manage that then something is wrong OP.