Worried about my charge starting preschool

[Anonymous]

My charge is 2.5 and I have never left her. She will be starting preschool three mornings a week starting in August and I am worried about her crying and clinging to me at drop off. Her mother and I will make the transition over the course of the first week but then it will be just me doing drop off. She is very attached to me.

How can I make this easier for her?

[Anonymous]

Remind her of the routine. "You'll play, have a snack, have story time, and then we get to have lunch together!" or however the day goes. Simple, short things.

Big hugs, show excitement for her. Learn her teacher's names and names of some classmates. "Ben with the glasses with be there today! He's such a nice boy. Do you like to work on puzzles with him? Sarah likes to play trains just like you!" etc.

Try really hard to show her only positive, exciting emotion from you. I know it's hard. There will probably be tears at first, but it will get better. Do they allow her to bring lovies? That might help, but nothing too small that can get lost easily.

Don't hang around at the door (especially if there are windows) where she can see you watching her. Quick, loving goodbye and then leave.

Sometimes I like to talk about something after school -- plan out lunches, or what book we'll read, or if a toy will come with me in the car to pick her up after school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remind her of the routine. "You'll play, have a snack, have story time, and then we get to have lunch together!" or however the day goes. Simple, short things.

Big hugs, show excitement for her. Learn her teacher's names and names of some classmates. "Ben with the glasses with be there today! He's such a nice boy. Do you like to work on puzzles with him? Sarah likes to play trains just like you!" etc.

Try really hard to show her only positive, exciting emotion from you. I know it's hard. There will probably be tears at first, but it will get better. Do they allow her to bring lovies? That might help, but nothing too small that can get lost easily.

Don't hang around at the door (especially if there are windows) where she can see you watching her. Quick, loving goodbye and then leave.

Sometimes I like to talk about something after school -- plan out lunches, or what book we'll read, or if a toy will come with me in the car to pick her up after school.

Great suggestions! Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remind her of the routine. "You'll play, have a snack, have story time, and then we get to have lunch together!" or however the day goes. Simple, short things.

Big hugs, show excitement for her. Learn her teacher's names and names of some classmates. "Ben with the glasses with be there today! He's such a nice boy. Do you like to work on puzzles with him? Sarah likes to play trains just like you!" etc.

Try really hard to show her only positive, exciting emotion from you. I know it's hard. There will probably be tears at first, but it will get better. Do they allow her to bring lovies? That might help, but nothing too small that can get lost easily.

Don't hang around at the door (especially if there are windows) where she can see you watching her. Quick, loving goodbye and then leave.

Sometimes I like to talk about something after school -- plan out lunches, or what book we'll read, or if a toy will come with me in the car to pick her up after school.

NP. Agree with the other advice, but the bolded has backfired on me before (I'm a mom, not a nanny). If I talk about the fun stuff we'll do after school, she wants to do that NOW, not after school, and I get a tantrum. I stick to talking about fun stuff at school and she'll get super exited about going and seeing her teachers, playing with the dollhouse, doing play-do, etc. Your charge could be different, so try it and see if it works for her, but know it can always backfire.

[Anonymous]

Haha, nobody has attachment problems with the NANNY. Get real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haha, nobody has attachment problems with the NANNY. Get real.

Stop embarrassing yourself, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haha, nobody has attachment problems with the NANNY. Get real.

Said a mom.

Nannies know better. My current family I am there when the kids wake up and there when they go to bed 5 days a week. The remaining 2 days the kids are with parents in the morning and a sitter after nap. I see far more of them than their parents do and I have been here since they were born. I am their primary attachment figure. Many families have a nanny who is a secondary or tertiary attachment figure, but there are plenty of cases where the nanny is the primary figure in the child’s life and attachment issues can definitely be an issue just as if the child had a SAHM before starting school.

[Anonymous]

Stop turning every thread into an argument; it makes everyone look bad.

OP asked for advice. Two people have given it. Write something helpful or post your own thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haha, nobody has attachment problems with the NANNY. Get real.

Stop embarrassing yourself, PP.

+ 1. DD is very attached to her nanny as well as to DH and me (her mother). She actually had a harder time adjusting to her nanny dropping her off at preschool than she did me because, according to DD, “Nanny never leave me until Mama is home”.

To OP, stand back and just watch her on her first few days. Don’t engage her and let the teachers take the lead. Then, start leaving for longer and longer in increments of time.