Family friend’s daughter will be our live in nanny

[Anonymous]

A family friend’s daughter wants to spend part of her gap year living in the US.

We would be responsible for providing her her own room, 3 meals a day, adequate transportation, and opportunities to explore what the DC area(along with a few other longer trips) has to offer.

She will be with us for 9 months. During this time i will be a sahm and we will have 5 kids.

She will be responsible for the kids while I’m running errands or busy.

She will assist in things like getting them ready for school or help in the afternoon.

She won’t have a set schedule but we will have her schedules made a month in advance.

She will be working 30 hours a week

For 6 months out of the 9, 2 of the 5 kids will be in school during the day.

She will never work earlier than 8am or later than 5pm. No Sunday’s

What kind of pay would you offer for this situation? Note, this is a family friend so the relationship isn’t strictly business.

[Anonymous]

does she have any experience with children? if she doesn't, I don't know why you would want her to help you out. if she does, base the pay on experience. However, there are 5 kids so there will be times when she'll have all 5 right? if she does have experience, how many kids has she taken care of at once? I'd say around $20-23/h since its 5 kids.

[Anonymous]

I would figure out the market rate pay based on how many kids she'll have when, and then subtract an appropriate amount for room and board from that.

I would also have a plan for what will happen if things don't work out, given that this is a friend's child. Be very, very clear in expectations from the outset.

[Anonymous]

Minimum shower or be an AP’s stipend, roughly $200 per week.

[Anonymous]

how is she going to get a travel visa for 9 months? a tourist visa is only 3 months.


if you want to do it legally, contact an Au Pair agency. you can get a discounted rate for finding your own Au Pair. They will sponsor her and get her a visa.

as PP said, Au Pair stipend in $200/week for up to 45 hours of work, plus room and board

[Anonymous]

5 kids.. are you sure she can handle that? I would pay at least $12-14 an hour plus room and board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:how is she going to get a travel visa for 9 months? a tourist visa is only 3 months.


if you want to do it legally, contact an Au Pair agency. you can get a discounted rate for finding your own Au Pair. They will sponsor her and get her a visa.

as PP said, Au Pair stipend in $200/week for up to 45 hours of work, plus room and board

Thank you for the advice. I am not sure how they planned to arrange her visa. I know their oldest daughter did a similar arrangement 5 years ago. I don’t know how it worked though, legally speaking.

They did mention she would have to travel back to France 3 times throughout the year(2 weeks each time for various reasons. Could that possibly be a way they are skirting around visa laws?

That said, I don’t want to skirt around any laws. I will turn the offer down if we have to do anything illegally but they’ve never been that type.

They didn’t bring up the idea of an au pair agency but we are still pretty early in the discussion process of this. It will be nearly 2 years before this happens.

[Anonymous]

Stupid idea. Keep your friends your friends. They will not be your friends after this because you will end up taking advantage of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how is she going to get a travel visa for 9 months? a tourist visa is only 3 months.


if you want to do it legally, contact an Au Pair agency. you can get a discounted rate for finding your own Au Pair. They will sponsor her and get her a visa.

as PP said, Au Pair stipend in $200/week for up to 45 hours of work, plus room and board

Thank you for the advice. I am not sure how they planned to arrange her visa. I know their oldest daughter did a similar arrangement 5 years ago. I don’t know how it worked though, legally speaking.

They did mention she would have to travel back to France 3 times throughout the year(2 weeks each time for various reasons. Could that possibly be a way they are skirting around visa laws?

That said, I don’t want to skirt around any laws. I will turn the offer down if we have to do anything illegally but they’ve never been that type.

They didn’t bring up the idea of an au pair agency but we are still pretty early in the discussion process of this. It will be nearly 2 years before this happens.

Yes, she is planning to return home to get another tourist visa. And there's a chance that immigration will catch this and send her home before she returns. We had an AP who was coming back to visit family (in a different part of the US) and was deported because they suspected her of coming for work (she mispoke in answering one of their questions). She was able to reenter the US later though.

[Anonymous]

Don't do that. You will find yourself without help and more important : she could lose her ability to come back to the US for 10 years.

They don't let Europeans come and go every 3 months without noticing. Even if she goes home for 2 weeks and comes back.

Immigration won't let her in. I've heard so many stories like this one of people who thought they were smarter than the immigration people and they were sent back home.

If she's young, she can get an au pair visa. It's basically free for her to do that and you get a peace of mind doing things legally.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it sounds like she's going home to reset her tourist visa. That means she will not have the legal right to work in the US, and both of you will be breaking the law by having her work.

[Anonymous]

Do you actually NEED the help? If this woman wasn't coming, would you be hiring a nanny or au pair?

Or are you mostly doing this as a favor to your friends? She wants to live in the US, and you are providing her with room and board?

[Anonymous]

The whole arrangement wouldn’t be legal on a toursti visa even if it were only for 3 months, so I have a hard time thinking you care *that* much... Let me guess, you weren’t planning to pay taxes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how is she going to get a travel visa for 9 months? a tourist visa is only 3 months.


if you want to do it legally, contact an Au Pair agency. you can get a discounted rate for finding your own Au Pair. They will sponsor her and get her a visa.

as PP said, Au Pair stipend in $200/week for up to 45 hours of work, plus room and board

Thank you for the advice. I am not sure how they planned to arrange her visa. I know their oldest daughter did a similar arrangement 5 years ago. I don’t know how it worked though, legally speaking.

They did mention she would have to travel back to France 3 times throughout the year(2 weeks each time for various reasons. Could that possibly be a way they are skirting around visa laws?

That said, I don’t want to skirt around any laws. I will turn the offer down if we have to do anything illegally but they’ve never been that type.

They didn’t bring up the idea of an au pair agency but we are still pretty early in the discussion process of this. It will be nearly 2 years before this happens.

We've had Au Pairs for several years now, and in the last year or so, they've been asked many more questions when coming to the U.S. My recent Au Pair went home for a visit and had a hard time coming back to the U.S. to finish her her. Her friend who was coming to visit her boyfriend got rejected- they had been dating long distance and that never happened before. My prior Au Pair who comes back to visit every year or so said immigration was much more stringent this time around. Immigration is really cracking down on tourist visas and turning people away.
If you are serious about this girl coming for any longer than 3 months, she should really do it legally through an Au Pair agency for a year (she can go home early)

[Anonymous]

I am a former AP on an AP visa and went home for a week. I was asked tons of questions when I came back. Just imagine if I were on a 3 months visa ...

Now that I'm in my early 40s and go to the US quite frequently, I am STILL asked many questions. They see I don't live in the US or intend to, but they're being VERY cautious about who they let in.

Do yourself a favor here : get someone legally and above all : don't ruin that young woman's life by bringing her to the US with the wrong visa.