Au Pair can't drive well - rematch?

[Anonymous]

I'm looking for some feedback...thanks in advance!

Our au pair arrived a few weeks ago from S Africa on the pretense that she is an excellent driver. They drive on the opposite of the road there.
We took her out in the neighborhood and it was determined very early on that she needed lessons.

We bought a block of 10 hours, then the driving school suggested another two (12 hr of instruction total). She is not getting it, at all. Lots of hesitation, hugging the shoulder, drifting between lanes, etc. Not good.

Driving the kids around is a large part of her duties.

My question is...how much longer do we give her until we rematch? My other friends with au pairs have not invested more than one week of driving with "dad"/or at worst 4 hrs max on lessons.

Otherwise she is a great fit with our family and we are terrified to rematch! Anyone out there have an au pair who took longer to "click" with driving and you are happy you kept them!?!

[Anonymous]

I would rematch. Diving the kids is not negotiable.

[Anonymous]

I would rematch too. I have paid for six lessons to get someone comfortable with the US roads, but I need fundamental skills to be strong. Driving is one of the few ways that an au pair - well meaning and responsible as she may be - can actually kill your kids. Don't mess around with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would rematch too. I have paid for six lessons to get someone comfortable with the US roads, but I need fundamental skills to be strong. Driving is one of the few ways that an au pair - well meaning and responsible as she may be - can actually kill your kids. Don't mess around with this.

This. Bad driving can actually kill your children. It surprises me that so many people use Au Pairs for this reason. I’d be terrified, personally.

[Anonymous]

I'd rematch too. She'll find another family that doesn't need a driver, you'll find someone you feel comfortable driving your kids.

[Anonymous]

Yes, rematch. Better to pull off the bandaid before something bad happens. She will probably be able to match with a family who doesnt need a driver. Tell you you will give her a great recommendation.

[Anonymous]

Rematch now. You will never trust her with your kids and your life will not be made easier--only more stressful. Driving is a nice "objective" criteria for matching, in case you were feeling guilty

[Anonymous]

If she truly has experience driving in S Africa, she should be able to get used to driving here ... but it does take a bit of time.
My "tip"/"trick" for driving on the other side of the road is to reorient where you look to line the car up. With right side driving (like we do), the tendency is to align in your vision the left front of the car with the lane line on your left so that you are centered in the lane. If you do that when driving on the left side of the road, you end up hugging the shoulder, edging into the other lane, etc. If you consciously adjust your visual line up point then that should change. But it takes conscious thought for a while until it becomes natural. Since she is used to driving on the left side, she is likely still aligning the car to HER right side leading to the shoulder hugging, drifting, etc.
Talk to her about that. It's a simple fix but it has to be a conscious thought. She has to readjust her position in space in the car, if that makes sense.
I'm not a driving instructor, but I've found that explaining switching sides of the road in those terms has helped many people. It may be worth a shot before you give up on her - especially since you click otherwise.

[Anonymous]

If she hasn’t figured it out by now, she will continue to struggle with driving and will endanger your children.
Rematch.

[Anonymous]

Rematch. We had an AP whose driving seemed ok enough but she then totaled the car with the kids inside. It was terrifying. The agency put her in transition as an "excellent" candidate and blamed us for not being compassionate enough to keep her.

[Anonymous]

After 12 hours and still not getting it ... time to rematch.

We've had AP with near-zero skills - basically starting like a non-driver in the parking lot and after about 2 times a week for a month at 1 to 1.5 hours each time (equivalent to your 12 hours), they are ready to take the DMV road test. We continue to practice with them after getting the license because part of us deciding if AP can go it alone is more than just mechanically knowing how to drive but also how to navigate and wayfind to the most frequenct locations. So less about technical driving and more about getting from point A to B and how to problem solve when getting lost going to a new address, during the last few practice runs.

Mine were the steroeotypcal weak Chinese AP drivers. I matched with them knowing that they were weak drivers and they were ready for DMV road test after 12 hours of practice - just as a reference for comparison.

We have never had an AP who drove on the other side of the road so cannot offer how long a reasonable adjustment period is for that. However, if you matched with her with the understanding that she is already a strong driver and driving is essential in her job, then she is not the right fit for you.

[Anonymous]

I have had 2 SA Au Pairs and one from the UK. They adjusted in a matter of days. So that is not the issue.
Sounds like she lied about having driving experience.
It is easy to tell you to rematch. Only you know how bad she is. And where does she have to drive your kids?
I had a nanny who was a new driver and we worked with her for about 6 weeks. She was with us for 5 years and was part of the family. Well worth the investment.
Have you had APs before? Many need help with driving skills except the Germans and a few other countries. But then you have the English issue.

[Anonymous]

OP, why are you terrified to rematch? Is it because of the chaos during transition? Not having childcare? I ask because I felt the same way. DId not want to rematch but ended up doing so for safety reasons (not for driving, other safety issues). Jump in and rematch, you will be relieved.

[Anonymous]

I'd put up with a lot of things in order to avoid rematch, but your kids' safety is absolutely paramount. Help her find a non-driving position. Right now, it's like a no-fault divorce. Once your car or children are harmed, there will be bad feelings at best, tragedy at worst. You can't control for all hazards with your kids, but don't live with this one.

[Anonymous]

OP Here - I went driving with her today again and we nearly got into an accident.

We called the LCC and are officially requesting a rematch. Thank you everyone who responded.

We couldn't live with ourselves if something happened.