Do I have to talk with my employer?

[Anonymous]

Hi,
I am working with family almost three years. Every thing was great. But, it’s few weeks my charge father behavior very change. He used to appreciate everything I did but now he don’t ( I am okay with that but he is very rude now) whenever I say him Hi he don’t reply. My charge mom treat me well.
Last week my charge mom told me they don’t need my care any more . I have to find a job and start. She is okay I will work till September so I find new job. I emailed husband for reference letter. He told me I don’t have to find another job they are still discussing.
I will inform me two month in advance about their decision.
Yesterday, they told me if I work different hours .( since they are going to marriage counseling)
I don’t know but I feel I have to talk with them why the husband is so rude . I don’t expect him to be mine friend but I expect respect.
I really don’t know what is my mistake.
Thanks

[Anonymous]

Are you writing a bunch of posts on this forum today OP??

Just curious because I am reading a lot of posts on here w/a similar language slant.

If not - I do apologize.

[Anonymous]

No not me.

[Anonymous]

Get the reference letter from mb. Start looking for positions with a September start, but let both mb and dB know it’s theoretical at this point. Also, send an email to bth stating that you like the child, but you would like the relationship to remain professional. Db doesn’t have to be polite, but simply not responding may not cross the line into being rude. Try not talking to him, see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get the reference letter from mb. Start looking for positions with a September start, but let both mb and dB know it’s theoretical at this point. Also, send an email to bth stating that you like the child, but you would like the relationship to remain professional. Db doesn’t have to be polite, but simply not responding may not cross the line into being rude. Try not talking to him, see what happens.

Thanks for your advice. Do I have to mentioned about child father rudeness in my email?
How I explain?

[Anonymous]

Look for a new job. You do not need a written reference letter. It sounds like it isn't you and they are having marital issues, thinking of separating. If they separate, they may not be able to afford two households and a nanny. Time for a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look for a new job. You do not need a written reference letter. It sounds like it isn't you and they are having marital issues, thinking of separating. If they separate, they may not be able to afford two households and a nanny. Time for a new job.

+1 He's probably got the possible end of his marriage on his mind. That doesn't excuse the rudeness, but you have to understand it's not personal. Do look for a new position; you can always can your mind if things improve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look for a new job. You do not need a written reference letter. It sounds like it isn't you and they are having marital issues, thinking of separating. If they separate, they may not be able to afford two households and a nanny. Time for a new job.

+1 He's probably got the possible end of his marriage on his mind. That doesn't excuse the rudeness, but you have to understand it's not personal. Do look for a new position; you can always can your mind if things improve.

*change your mind!

[Anonymous]

So you guys don’t think I have to talk about his rudeness
Yes I think they are going to separate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you guys don’t think I have to talk about his rudeness
Yes I think they are going to separate.

I'm afraid good manners are a low priority for him right now because of the personal issues. And if I were you, I would be proactive about my job security. It could work out that you can stay with your current charge but you don't know, so be careful. I wouldn't focus on the rudeness now. If you stay and he is still rude, that's different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you guys don’t think I have to talk about his rudeness
Yes I think they are going to separate.

If he’s actually something rude or derogatory, address it. If he’s just not answering when you talk to him, he might be thinking about other things and not hearing you. My DB is doing this constantly, but MB is away most of the time right now, so he has a ton on his mind. I know he’s not actively ignoring me, and when he hears but he needs to focus, he says exactly that. If you just think he’s ignoring you, let it go.

[Anonymous]

You are on the way out the door anyway. As long as the db’s Behavior is simply rude and not an abusive work condition, let it go. Start looking for a job as the one you have right now is not stable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look for a new job. You do not need a written reference letter. It sounds like it isn't you and they are having marital issues, thinking of separating. If they separate, they may not be able to afford two households and a nanny. Time for a new job.

+1 He's probably got the possible end of his marriage on his mind. That doesn't excuse the rudeness, but you have to understand it's not personal. Do look for a new position; you can always can your mind if things improve.

+1

Don't mention his rudeness.