Reasonble expectations for meal prep?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone, I am interested in what are reasonable expectations of meal prep for a nanny.

We have a 16 month old. When we hired our nanny a year ago, she (like the other candidates) talked about preparing nutritious meals at home for her charges, and when he transitioned to solids she was initially quite gung ho about preparing purees (and a few other overly ambitious meals for a 6 month old).

Since that time she's swung far in the other direction. Our son is quite an adventurous eater overall, although its some extra effort to maintain this. We feed him breakfast, dinner (of course), and also directly choose and provide snack.

However, we have been expecting the nanny to handle lunch, and do not give much guidance. Instead we just ask her to give us a grocery list, since we shop each weekend. Since the puree phase, lunch has sort of atrophied to being the same food, day in and day out (meatballs prepared in batch and frozen with a little bit of diced veggie mixed inside, or even store bought when these run out). Occasional changes are all chicken or turkey - no other meat, fish, legumes, vegetables, etc., although we have all these around and explained that she may use anything in the house she wants, offer weekly to buy anything she needs, and give him these foods at other mealtimes. She also seems to have thrown in the towel in getting him to eat vegetables, which is a struggle but not insurmountable (we know since we manage it every night, with some pain).

Is it reasonable to expect our nanny to take the initiative in planning and preparing a somewhat greater variety of nutritious lunches? What *is* a reasonable lunch for a toddler, and a reasonable variety? Is it our job to just take charge here and dictate to our nanny what we want and how we want it? (From our perspective, we understood part of the benefit of having a nanny was to relieve some of these burdens relative to day care).

[Anonymous]

my previous charge (2 years old at time of leave) was an okay eater. I would never prep in advance and would always just use what was in the fridge. mom would rarely cook meat. usually chicken, veggies, lentils, beans. I would make her sandwiches with turkey or ham, and cheese and mayo. I would give her veggies (carrots, broccoli, etc). for the most part she wouldn't eat the same thing everyday. maybe every other day, with some variations in between. she also loved fruits especially cuties and mango.

personally, I think you should talk to her about your expectations. I don't think it is unreasonable at all to expect a decent meal prep from her. you need to tell her what you want. also, I don't feel like you need to constantly worry and maybe let her take charge. I know those statements are contradictory, lol, but tell her what you want. maybe if you mention it to her she'll put in more effort than before.

[Anonymous]

I would just be direct and tell her you’d like your child to have some variety. Make suggestions. She’s not a mind reader. My kids are on a rotation of about 3-4 different lunches. And we mix up the veggies and fruit that accompany the main.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny to a toddler who eats pretty much the same thing every day. Sliced turkey or roasted chicken, tomatoes. some whole grain product and berries. Toddlers are just like that, OP. Your child's adventurous meals don't have to be at lunch when the nanny doesn't always have time to experiment.

This is simply not a hill I would choose to die on.

[Anonymous]

Not sure why you're so concerned with making the kid eat so many different things at every meal. Most kids either eat leftovers from the night before or a sandwich with the occasional chicken nuggets, Mac-n-cheese or quesadilla thrown in. Not sure what the problem with that is.

[Anonymous]

i've never understood why some parents think lunch is a time when you should be cooking a full meal. a sandwich or leftovers is fine. i used to work for a family who insisted that i cook a protein, a grain, and a vegetable for their kids (an infant and a toddler). frequently this meant making salmon or flounder or whatever. this always went in the trash-who wants that kind of thing at lunch? it would turn into an argument-the kids would want cheese and crackers and some fruit or something. they ate whatever the adults ate at dinner. you're gaining nothing by over complicating this.

[Anonymous]

I have a 16 month old too, and I try to do different things for meals. Lunch would generally include left over protein from night before or I would cook some up. And then veggies, berries and some grain or cheese, plain yogurt. But basically just see what is in the fridge and try to mix
It up, although it does happen that sometimes he has same meal or very similar meal twice in a row.

[Anonymous]

dont expect the nanny to make lavish lunches for your children. simple meals are find, just let her know you want her to be more hands on with lunch. perhaps make a calendar where she has meals to choose from. my almost 5 yo and 2 year old eat a lot of pasta, sweet potatoes, and potatoes. chicken, salmon, and meat here and there. also lots of veggies!! they also love fruit smoothies (usually for breakfast)

[Anonymous]

Lots of good advice here; thanks! The posters at 21:04 and 21:53 describes the ideal situation that we thought would happen, but obviously need to be more hands on about. We should also probably be more aggressive about mixing in our leftovers to make the job easier.

As far as 19:58 and 20:05; you both are reading stuff that isn’t there and sound defensive. There is a big gap between not being thrilled about the same meatballs every day for a month straight, and “being concerned about making the kid eat so many different things” or expecting a “full meal.” Does it really matter that most American kids eat Mac+Cheese and chicken nuggets? After all, a majority of American adults are borderline diabetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of good advice here; thanks! The posters at 21:04 and 21:53 describes the ideal situation that we thought would happen, but obviously need to be more hands on about. We should also probably be more aggressive about mixing in our leftovers to make the job easier.

As far as 19:58 and 20:05; you both are reading stuff that isn’t there and sound defensive. There is a big gap between not being thrilled about the same meatballs every day for a month straight, and “being concerned about making the kid eat so many different things” or expecting a “full meal.” Does it really matter that most American kids eat Mac+Cheese and chicken nuggets? After all, a majority of American adults are borderline diabetic.

19:58 said *occasional* Mac-n-cheese. Not sure who the defensive one is here...

[Anonymous]

Our nanny would make lavish lunches for the kids if I let her but I want my kids to get used to basic packed lunches like sandwiches and fruit so they are ready for school.

[Anonymous]

what does eating similar meals at lunch have to do with being diabetic? one could eat a variety of junk food in the middle of the day and be no better off than someone who ate the same simple healthy lunch every afternoon.
if you really care i'd just leave some leftovers in the fridge and a note that says "hey! over the weekend x loved this. try giving it to her for lunch; we're trying to get him/her to eat a bigger variety of things. let me know how it goes and have a good day!" so you have a basis for starting a conversation about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i've never understood why some parents think lunch is a time when you should be cooking a full meal. a sandwich or leftovers is fine. i used to work for a family who insisted that i cook a protein, a grain, and a vegetable for their kids (an infant and a toddler). frequently this meant making salmon or flounder or whatever. this always went in the trash-who wants that kind of thing at lunch? it would turn into an argument-the kids would want cheese and crackers and some fruit or something. they ate whatever the adults ate at dinner. you're gaining nothing by over complicating this.

To each his own. We have a lovely Easter European nanny and she makes toddler dd a full meal for lunch with similar things as most people have for dinner. It’s her biggest meal of the day since she’s hungry after a long walk and limited morning snacks. I do some prep and there are dinner leftovers available for lunch too.
General menu: lightly fried or baked fish, roasted chicken, turkey/lamb meatballs, veggie or chicken soup (as a starter) , crudités, avocado, toast/crackers with the soup and a cut up fruit or baked apple. Dd eats very well, loves her vegetables and soup and a plus is I don’t have to worry about how she eats at dinner since she ate well at lunch. We do the same thing on weekends and do a sit down lunch at home or out. Just the way we are and how I grew up and I interviewed nannies with this in mind. THe one we have now is amazing and cooks a lot of these things from scratch herself without prompting and now since dd is over 2 she is involved in meal prep.

[Anonymous]

The bottom line is while either a parent or a caregiver can provide a variety of options, they absolutely cannot force a child to eat them. It does sound like you are more focused on what the nanny is offering which is step in the right direction. You mentioned getting your child to eat vegetables at dinner-how do you do that?

[Anonymous]

(1) We make sure its always there as an option and offer it in a light-hearted way, respecting him if he says no to avoid a battle of wills. (2) we cook in a lot of vegetables into tasty foods where they get "lost" (pasta sauces, meat and bean stews) and some inevitably ends up in his mouth. (3) we mush it into something he really wants, like bread. (4) sometimes we just have it on the table but don't offer it to him, and the "me too" tendency to demand what we're eating gets to him. (5) we don't expect him to try anything we wouldn't be willing to eat ourselves. (Occasionally he eats jarred veggie purees, which we would *not* be willing to eat ourselves; but we let him tell us when he wants them).

Its obviously a hassle to prepare to always have these foods on hand that will only be eaten some of the time (by him anyway), and find creative ways to get him to eat them. *Of course* it would be easier to just give him something he is always is willing to eat, in which case he'd live off bread and cheese. But in the long term we don't think it would be good for him - eating a limited and unvaried diet -- *or* us -- who would always have to feed him something special. In fact, feeding him the sort of variety that we eat was explicit Dr.'s orders - mostly for our own future sanity. (In my previous post I wasn't suggesting a link between a lack of variety and diabetes. But in fact, there probably is one. Dietary advice changes just about daily; and since we don't know much, common sense (and evidence) suggests that variety is a good health bet. And obviously, whatever it is that the majority of American adults are doing isn't working out very well for them).

Obviously, we have busier days where we cut corners, and easier days where we go all out. But (a) the nanny is a well paid, professional child care provider with 5+ years of prior experience, who explicitly advertised healthy meal prepared during her interview, and (b) her day has a lot of actual (not hypothetical) down time to do cooking, meal planning, or other tasks; even allowing for a solid hour long break for personal time. Our son naps for a 2.5 hour block every day, and at present about 2 hours of it is spent on personal time. So yes, seeing him eat the same meatballs even day for a month is irritating.

I have learned a lot in this thread. (1) We need to step up as employers and manage the situation in a supportive and nonjudgemental way, and provide both more guidance and active help than we would have liked. It wouldn't be the first time -- table manners, schedule and nap management, and safety issues have all required our active intervention in the past. Our nanny really excels at the interpersonal relationship with our son and the development of his verbal skills, but has been less than impressive in other domains. (2) Most nanny are doing somewhat more variety than ours but nothing elaborate, often rely on leftovers provided by the parents, and this is altogether reasonable for lunch time. (3) A small subset of nannies do not take this aspect of their job particularly seriously, and resent the implication that they should do better.

There is probably a fourth, but it something we have already tried and our nanny will probably never accept -- that its OK if he rebels during the *occasional* meal and doesn't eat much until the next one, and you do not need to keep rifling through the fridge and pantry for some crap that he is finally willing to shove in his mouth. As a matter of fact, our dinners are quite a bit more pleasant when he shows up actually hungry!