Offer Free Babysitting to NF?

[Anonymous]

Hello,

I have been a career nanny for 13 years and am considering offering a free date night for the first time. I have been with this families for just over a year, am paid well, received a good raise and very nice bonus. Overall I am very happy with this family and they gave me a higher raise than they planned because I stated my case and asked for more. Now their anniversary is coming up and I’m considering offering a free date night. On one hand I think it is a nice gesture and will come back my way at bonus time (not necessarily more than last year). On the other, it seems unprofessional and blurs the lines. But nannying is such an intimate profession that the lines are always a bit blurred! Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

i wouldn't. what if they start expecting it and then you have to clarify that you expect to get paid, even on birthdays and special occasions? a card is more than enough. they're adults, and an anniversary is really just between two people.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t while still working for the family. The only time I have ever done it is after my job has ended. The

[Anonymous]

I think this is a really nice thing to do. When I give people gifts, I don’t worry about what happens if they randomly become accustomed to them. They’re gifts. Most people aren’t stupid. At worst, they’ll make think you’ll offer once a year from now on and be bummed if you decide not to. Not a big deal even if it were to happen.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t do it.

If you worked at Target, would you even consider doing a four-hour shift gratis?
In honor of your boss’s anniversary, birthday, etc.?

Besides it is always best to gift down, not upwards.

They likely are not expecting anything from you, but if you feel that you MUST do something perhaps help your charge(s) design + create a loving, homemade “Happy Anniversary” card for their parents.
Maybe bake some cupcakes w/them too!!

[Anonymous]

Nope, no way

[Anonymous]

I did it with my first nanny job and it is a really bad precedent. My employers expected me to do it for all their "occasions".

[Anonymous]

I do it for death-realated events - when my employers grandmother passed away I cared for the kids without charge. Someone did this for my mother when my Dad died - she got someone in to clean her living room rug before my Dad's memorial and when he found out whey she was having the rug cleaned, he wouldn't;t accept payment for it. I thought that was lovely so that is the only time I offer my services for free.

[Anonymous]

Ds' nanny does this twice a year for mine and dhs bdays. She babysits other times and we pay her.

There is no expectation. Last year we went away for DH's bday and my mom watched DS. His nanny told us to pick another date for her to babysit and gave us some availabilities.

Granted, we are also close with his nanny and the lines are probably already blurred.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a lovely idea--just don't say "hey, I'll sit for free!" Give them an anniversary card with a voucher good for one free night of babysitting ("up to X hours on a Friday or Saturday night on a mutually agreed upon date"). Then you aren't doing it for free--you're giving it as a gift. (I'd be mindful of the fact that they might expect it again next year, but then, if you're still there next year at this time you might be happy to give it again.)

What you don't want to do is agree to sit one night and then tell them "oh, you don't have to pay me tonight, it's your anniversary!" That does set an expectation that they don't always have to pay.

[Anonymous]

If you do make sure you say how many hours, e.g., you give them 3 free hours, which is more than enough time for a dinner out. I will not accept free bsnysitting from a nanny or babysitter because this is their job and it is too expensive a gift. Gifts gifts flow down, not up.

[Anonymous]

I'm an MB. This is a very sweet thought, but, honestly, would make me uncomfortable. Truly, I am happy to pay you! I am so grateful for the amazing care you give my kids - let me pay you!

If you were doing it for free, I'd be very self-conscious that I was taking advantage of you. I definitely wouldn't be comfortable being gone for more than 1.5-2 hours max, and even that would be pushing it. But, if I pay you, I get a glorious 4 hours or more (obviously cleared in advance).