Sad about our nanny

[Anonymous]

MB here. Nanny and our family parted ways last week after her husband was offered a corporate relocation out of state. She graciously gave us six weeks notice and with her help we found, interviewed, trained and transitioned her replacement. She was our first Nanny ever since ODD was 3 months old and has been with our family for 3 years. My ODD is now a toddler who knows Nanny is moving but doesn’t fully “get it.” TBH, I’m more shocked at how I’m feeling. I have friends who seem that they could care less when their nanny leaves or resigns; they have the attitude that their nanny can easily be replaced so it’s not that big of a deal. I always felt that our nanny was part of our family (and treated her that way), but I’m surprised at how much it stung to lose her. She has a pretty tight bond with my daughter so I’m sure last week wasn’t that easy for her, either. Is it normal to be this sad when your nanny leaves? Perhaps this adjustment would have been easier if she still lived locally and we could visit on with each on occasion.

[Anonymous]

I suspect you may have had a solid children with healthy attachments. Most people didn't, and that's why they believe the revolving nanny door is ok.

[Anonymous]

You sound like an amazing employee who hired an amazing nanny.

Heartwarming. Best of luck to you, losing someone you value is hard!

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP, it is like a beloved family member moving away. And the added pain of knowing how much she loved your child and how much she helped you. Our first nanny will always be a true part of our family. javascript:emoticon('');

[Anonymous]

Oh, OP, I would be so very, very sad if our nanny of 2.5 years moved away! I cannot even imagine... I know my daughter would be heartbroken but I would be, too! FaceTime a lot and keep her up to date on your child's - an your - lives. Friendships can grow long distance until you meet again...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I suspect you may have had a solid children with healthy attachments. Most people didn't, and that's why they believe the revolving nanny door is ok.

meant to say, "solid childhood"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, OP, I would be so very, very sad if our nanny of 2.5 years moved away! I cannot even imagine... I know my daughter would be heartbroken but I would be, too! FaceTime a lot and keep her up to date on your child's - an your - lives. Friendships can grow long distance until you meet again...

+1. We're military, so we've been through this twice now, though we are the ones moving away.

It's hard, but I promise they will bond with their new caregiver. I also think it's good practice for dealing with friends who will move away, changing classes from a beloved teacher, even a grandparent death. Especially if they can talk to her a few times at least, it will help them process the way life changes, but we're happy for the memories we have.

[Anonymous]

I’m staring at this in a couple of months and am already sad. Our nanny is like extra grandma to dd and has been with us since 6 months and loves and dotes on dd and has taught her and us so much. I’ll really miss her when she leaves when dd is 3. (She’s retiring from nannying and is waiting until dd can go to preschool).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. Nanny and our family parted ways last week after her husband was offered a corporate relocation out of state. She graciously gave us six weeks notice and with her help we found, interviewed, trained and transitioned her replacement. She was our first Nanny ever since ODD was 3 months old and has been with our family for 3 years. My ODD is now a toddler who knows Nanny is moving but doesn’t fully “get it.” TBH, I’m more shocked at how I’m feeling. I have friends who seem that they could care less when their nanny leaves or resigns; they have the attitude that their nanny can easily be replaced so it’s not that big of a deal. I always felt that our nanny was part of our family (and treated her that way), but I’m surprised at how much it stung to lose her. She has a pretty tight bond with my daughter so I’m sure last week wasn’t that easy for her, either. Is it normal to be this sad when your nanny leaves? Perhaps this adjustment would have been easier if she still lived locally and we could visit on with each on occasion.

OP, I wonder if part of it has to do with the fact that your nanny was the one moving away. We're moving to the west coast and while I'll be sad to lose our great nanny, I'm more looking forward to this next chapter of our lives. It's easier to be the one leaving than the one left. I hope you end up feeling just as close to your new nanny.

[Anonymous]

I agree it is easier to be the one leaving versus the one being left behind. We used a wonderful family daycare for my son for a year before sending him to preschool. The provider still cares for our infant and she is always asking about our son every time I go to pick up my daughter. I found it strange at first but I fully understand that she and her family misses my son. He has become an honorary member of her family. Even her grandson, who is my son's age, misses him very much.

Living in the DMV sometimes makes me numb to how quickly things change and people have to move on. Of course, if I was the one being left behind, I definitely get emotional. But it's normal to have these mournful feelings when people move on.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have cried each time one of our nannies and a housekeeper left, and I am not usually someone who cries in front of others. They were treasured employees but also friends who helped me, DH and our children get through twenty-five years without any close family in the area. They know us better than most people. I still talk to them on the phone and they visit with their families when they are in town.

[Anonymous]

That's very sweet to hear from an MB!

I'm going to be on maternity leave all summer and am already heartbroken about missing a summer of fun with my NKs. Obviously, I'm excited to become a mom and bond with my own little babe, but I'm already mourning the loss of all of our adventures with just my NKs and I. I will be returning in the Fall with my baby in tow and I'm VERY grateful for that, but I know our dynamic will be a little different.

I wish my bosses would show any signs of missing me this summer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's very sweet to hear from an MB!

I'm going to be on maternity leave all summer and am already heartbroken about missing a summer of fun with my NKs. Obviously, I'm excited to become a mom and bond with my own little babe, but I'm already mourning the loss of all of our adventures with just my NKs and I. I will be returning in the Fall with my baby in tow and I'm VERY grateful for that, but I know our dynamic will be a little different.

I wish my bosses would show any signs of missing me this summer!

Those children are lucky that you'll be coming back to them with your new baby. I had worked with a family for four years with my own child in tow. It worked beautifully. No discount of my rates, either.