Following Mary Poppins!

[Anonymous]

I just did a trial with a family for the care of a three-year-old and it went well. I was offered the job and started last week. The last nanny only lasted a few months and no one has anything to say about her. My new MB just said, "it didn't work out". The nanny before her was apparently Mary Poppins and is greatly loved by the entire extended family. My MB works out of the house and is around a lot. The first nanny moved about 30 miles away and couldn't do the commute but they parted on the best of terms.

Anyway, I had two great weeks with the new family or so I thought... On Friday Mary Poppins shows up. Of course my new charge loves her and went running to her. I get that. She was his nanny from the time he was six months old until just a few months ago. What bothered me was how my new MB was so different with her than with me. The talked and joked like old friends. Mary Poppins is older and apparently has dinner with my MB's mother and father pretty frequently. It is clear that I will never have the kind of relationship that Mary has with this family. Everyone is very "professional" toward me and nothing like they are with her.

Has anyone else ever been in this position?

[Anonymous]

They are not going to treat you like family right off the bat, and it would be very unfair to expect that. Were they too professional for you prior to the arrival of the other nanny? Or was it only because you were comparing yourself to her that you found them lacking? If you were perfectly happy with their behavior towards you and are only mad/hurt that they are not treating you the same as someone that they have known for years, then you are being pretty unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, no one will ever come close to the love I feel for my first child's nanny. As a first time mother, this amazing woman was my rock. Once my son started preschool she went on to another job but still sees my son once a week. I had a second child and like the new nanny but it is just not the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, no one will ever come close to the love I feel for my first child's nanny. As a first time mother, this amazing woman was my rock. Once my son started preschool she went on to another job but still sees my son once a week. I had a second child and like the new nanny but it is just not the same.

I think many parents feel this way.
It’s just that the first Nanny was the first & therefore the most special to them.

If I were in your shoes OP, I would have felt exactly the way you do.
The family should have been more sensitive about their affection for this previous Nanny.
I know I would have if I were the parents.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Today was hard. My MB was polite and pleasant but not much more. I might be expecting too much but I just get the feeling MB is disappointed in me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Today was hard. My MB was polite and pleasant but not much more. I might be expecting too much but I just get the feeling MB is disappointed in me.

You're BRAND. NEW. It's been TWO. WEEKS. You can't expect her to have the same relationship with YOU that she has with someone she's known for YEARS. Get some perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Today was hard. My MB was polite and pleasant but not much more. I might be expecting too much but I just get the feeling MB is disappointed in me.

You're BRAND. NEW. It's been TWO. WEEKS. You can't expect her to have the same relationship with YOU that she has with someone she's known for YEARS. Get some perspective.

It sounds harsh but THIS. And you haven’t answered: did you feel that they were standoffish before or is it just in comparison, because if it is the latter, you really need to chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Today was hard. My MB was polite and pleasant but not much more. I might be expecting too much but I just get the feeling MB is disappointed in me.

You're BRAND. NEW. It's been TWO. WEEKS. You can't expect her to have the same relationship with YOU that she has with someone she's known for YEARS. Get some perspective.

However, OP can expect that her MB. respect her and NOT invite Mary Poppins who "did not work out" to dinner for at least six months thus giving her time to bond with her charge.

OP, I would discuss this with your MB and tell her how you feel. Personally, I think what she did was unconscionably rude and mean to expose you to such an awkward situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Today was hard. My MB was polite and pleasant but not much more. I might be expecting too much but I just get the feeling MB is disappointed in me.

You're BRAND. NEW. It's been TWO. WEEKS. You can't expect her to have the same relationship with YOU that she has with someone she's known for YEARS. Get some perspective.

However, OP can expect that her MB. respect her and NOT invite Mary Poppins who "did not work out" to dinner for at least six months thus giving her time to bond with her charge.

OP, I would discuss this with your MB and tell her how you feel. Personally, I think what she did was unconscionably rude and mean to expose you to such an awkward situation.

The nanny who “didn’t work out” was MP’s first replacement. And expecting the family to avoid having a close family friend to dinner for half a year os crazy. You people need to go find some first time parents to work with instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, no one will ever come close to the love I feel for my first child's nanny. As a first time mother, this amazing woman was my rock. Once my son started preschool she went on to another job but still sees my son once a week. I had a second child and like the new nanny but it is just not the same.

Why didn't your first nanny stay with you for 2nd child? Apparently, she doesn't feel the same about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Today was hard. My MB was polite and pleasant but not much more. I might be expecting too much but I just get the feeling MB is disappointed in me.

You're BRAND. NEW. It's been TWO. WEEKS. You can't expect her to have the same relationship with YOU that she has with someone she's known for YEARS. Get some perspective.

It sounds harsh but THIS. And you haven’t answered: did you feel that they were standoffish before or is it just in comparison, because if it is the latter, you really need to chill.

+1

You can't have a relationship at a deep level with someone you just met 2 weeks ago. Period. Nanny, friend, co-worker, anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, no one will ever come close to the love I feel for my first child's nanny. As a first time mother, this amazing woman was my rock. Once my son started preschool she went on to another job but still sees my son once a week. I had a second child and like the new nanny but it is just not the same.

Why didn't your first nanny stay with you for 2nd child? Apparently, she doesn't feel the same about you.

Yes, Bitter Poster, our first nanny does love us as well. She comes every week without exception to pick up my son at school. My son is six and our first nanny took another nanny position years before I became pregnant with #2 and loves her new charge, now 2, dearly as well. She gets her new charge and my son together. We got a new nanny for the baby and she is fine. Just not the same bond I have with our beloved friend.

Is that clear now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, no one will ever come close to the love I feel for my first child's nanny. As a first time mother, this amazing woman was my rock. Once my son started preschool she went on to another job but still sees my son once a week. I had a second child and like the new nanny but it is just not the same.

Why didn't your first nanny stay with you for 2nd child? Apparently, she doesn't feel the same about you.

Yes, Bitter Poster, our first nanny does love us as well. She comes every week without exception to pick up my son at school. My son is six and our first nanny took another nanny position years before I became pregnant with #2 and loves her new charge, now 2, dearly as well. She gets her new charge and my son together. We got a new nanny for the baby and she is fine. Just not the same bond I have with our beloved friend.

Is that clear now?

Ha! Highly unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, no one will ever come close to the love I feel for my first child's nanny. As a first time mother, this amazing woman was my rock. Once my son started preschool she went on to another job but still sees my son once a week. I had a second child and like the new nanny but it is just not the same.

Why didn't your first nanny stay with you for 2nd child? Apparently, she doesn't feel the same about you.

Yes, Bitter Poster, our first nanny does love us as well. She comes every week without exception to pick up my son at school. My son is six and our first nanny took another nanny position years before I became pregnant with #2 and loves her new charge, now 2, dearly as well. She gets her new charge and my son together. We got a new nanny for the baby and she is fine. Just not the same bond I have with our beloved friend.

Is that clear now?

Ha! Highly unlikely.

Like I care whether you believe the truth or not.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the responses. I will give it more time.