I feel overwhelmed as a nanny at times

[Anonymous]

Caring for and teaching a child is a responsibility. I am constantly reading about better ways to do things with my charge and reminding myself to give her a spectrum of experiences while keeping her on track. I have to admit that I do feel overwhelmed at times.

I am not new to the responsibilities of the working world. I am an older nanny with a degree in education and have worked in a high-stress field before retiring and becoming a nanny. I love my charge very much and want what is best for her.

As an example: I don't work on Fridays (today) and I am home thinking about how I need to get her to drink more water, put her underwear on herself, and get in more reading time.

Do other nannies feel this way? I am not anxious about any of it or nervous about it, but I don't just forget about me job when I am not working.

[Anonymous]

This seems more like the level of worrying we hear about from parents, and even then we tell people to get a grip.

No, this is not normal. If you prefer to plan ahead, that's great, but you should carve out some dedicated planning time of no more than an hour or two each week. Spend some of it planning long-range goals, and some planning a daily schedule. And then go live your life.

I suspect that once you get some of these things down on paper, you'll be able to let them go on your time off. If you can't, you might need to see a doctor for a mental health check up. It's not strange to think about your job sometimes on the weekend, or even to think about your charge or miss her. It is odd to be fixated for days on educational goals for that child.

[Anonymous]

OP here. It isn't a fixation but a definite active though both when I am working and, at times like today, when I am just lounging at home. I want to give my charge a rich day of experiences, learning, socialization and imaginative play so I do plan our days in advance but there always feels like there is one more thing I should be doing.

I accept that it may not be normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems more like the level of worrying we hear about from parents, and even then we tell people to get a grip.

No, this is not normal. If you prefer to plan ahead, that's great, but you should carve out some dedicated planning time of no more than an hour or two each week. Spend some of it planning long-range goals, and some planning a daily schedule. And then go live your life.

I suspect that once you get some of these things down on paper, you'll be able to let them go on your time off. If you can't, you might need to see a doctor for a mental health check up. It's not strange to think about your job sometimes on the weekend, or even to think about your charge or miss her. It is odd to be fixated for days on educational goals for that child.

You have zero clue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It isn't a fixation but a definite active though both when I am working and, at times like today, when I am just lounging at home. I want to give my charge a rich day of experiences, learning, socialization and imaginative play so I do plan our days in advance but there always feels like there is one more thing I should be doing.

I accept that it may not be normal.

Personally, I take it as a sign of a dedicated nanny who enjoys her job. Same as anyone who has found his or her passion in life. You think about it, plan for it. It doesn’t mean you are mentallly ill for heaven’s sake. Just be sure to engage in other pursuits and focus on them when you are off duty.

[Anonymous]

I think you should check in with the parents about your goals. They may say to just read a half hour in the morning and a half hour in the afternoon and give her water to sip during reading time but otherwise don't push water. Or they may say actually, we don't think it's developmentally appropriate at this age to push reading so just play with her and only read if she initiates it.

I prefer that our nanny check in with us about once a month regarding what they see as strengths and deficits, and that way we're all on the same page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should check in with the parents about your goals. They may say to just read a half hour in the morning and a half hour in the afternoon and give her water to sip during reading time but otherwise don't push water. Or they may say actually, we don't think it's developmentally appropriate at this age to push reading so just play with her and only read if she initiates it.

I prefer that our nanny check in with us about once a month regarding what they see as strengths and deficits, and that way we're all on the same page.

OP here. I always discuss everything with her parents, of course. We are always on the same page. And no one is pushing the child's learning to read.

[Anonymous]

I carry around water bottles for myself and my charges. If you have it available immediately when she asks and offer every 15-30 minutes, she'll drink more.

As to reading, I read aloud from picture-less books while kids are playing, then I read picture books and discuss plot, setting and foreshadowing (age-appropriate!) when they are interested in active listening. Because reading is such a common thing for us, we switch 20+ books per week at the library, and the book slots are fun for them.

I'm completely with you on using your time off to plan! I've always done the same, I don't know how we would accomplish our goals if I didn't!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should check in with the parents about your goals. They may say to just read a half hour in the morning and a half hour in the afternoon and give her water to sip during reading time but otherwise don't push water. Or they may say actually, we don't think it's developmentally appropriate at this age to push reading so just play with her and only read if she initiates it.

I prefer that our nanny check in with us about once a month regarding what they see as strengths and deficits, and that way we're all on the same page.

Are you initiating that cknversation? Ime, parents aren't that interested in the day-to-day things like whether the nanny wants to encourage a few more ounces of water each day or increase reading time by 5-15 minutes. And I have yet to have a single employer who wanted a long conversation (10+ minutes) at least once per month, unless there were big issues and we were all brainstorming before bringing ideas to the table.

[Anonymous]

Are you a member of online nanny groups (not this one. This one is super negative and troll-y)? I think some of this comes with the territory and is part of the fact that a) there are so few objective barometers of how well or poorly you are doing and b) it is child-rearing. You can ALWAYS be improving in some way. I have found that having a community of nannies focuses me on priorities and alleviates any worries and gives me a better basis of comparison for how well I am doing at my job. Look up National Nanny Training Day events local to you and you might even get to have an in-person network!

[Anonymous]

I stick to a schedule of meals, naps and scheduled activities. After that the day takes us where it takes us. I try to incorporate reading, outside time, fun special outings, play dates and of course imaginative play. But I don't fixate on it. I try to let things go naturally and stressing over things like this will only hurt myself and my charge. I don't bring things up to the parents unless asked or if something is seriously wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should check in with the parents about your goals. They may say to just read a half hour in the morning and a half hour in the afternoon and give her water to sip during reading time but otherwise don't push water. Or they may say actually, we don't think it's developmentally appropriate at this age to push reading so just play with her and only read if she initiates it.

I prefer that our nanny check in with us about once a month regarding what they see as strengths and deficits, and that way we're all on the same page.

Are you initiating that cknversation? Ime, parents aren't that interested in the day-to-day things like whether the nanny wants to encourage a few more ounces of water each day or increase reading time by 5-15 minutes. And I have yet to have a single employer who wanted a long conversation (10+ minutes) at least once per month, unless there were big issues and we were all brainstorming before bringing ideas to the table.

Wow. I have my nanny take DD to meet me at the office once a week and the three of us go to lunch together. We spend at solid half hour talking once a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should check in with the parents about your goals. They may say to just read a half hour in the morning and a half hour in the afternoon and give her water to sip during reading time but otherwise don't push water. Or they may say actually, we don't think it's developmentally appropriate at this age to push reading so just play with her and only read if she initiates it.

I prefer that our nanny check in with us about once a month regarding what they see as strengths and deficits, and that way we're all on the same page.

Are you initiating that cknversation? Ime, parents aren't that interested in the day-to-day things like whether the nanny wants to encourage a few more ounces of water each day or increase reading time by 5-15 minutes. And I have yet to have a single employer who wanted a long conversation (10+ minutes) at least once per month, unless there were big issues and we were all brainstorming before bringing ideas to the table.

Wow. I have my nanny take DD to meet me at the office once a week and the three of us go to lunch together. We spend at solid half hour talking once a week.

But it sounds like your kid is preverbal. Those days are numbered and by age 2, your kid A) understands what you say so you can’t have a frank discussion about a lot of things and B) wants your undivided attention. Would you still be setting aside a half an hour a week to chat with the nanny if it meant you had to give up time with your kid?

[Anonymous]

I would agree that weekly talks are important. I like parents to know what we're working on, and I appreciate knowing any questions the parents may have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should check in with the parents about your goals. They may say to just read a half hour in the morning and a half hour in the afternoon and give her water to sip during reading time but otherwise don't push water. Or they may say actually, we don't think it's developmentally appropriate at this age to push reading so just play with her and only read if she initiates it.

I prefer that our nanny check in with us about once a month regarding what they see as strengths and deficits, and that way we're all on the same page.

Are you initiating that cknversation? Ime, parents aren't that interested in the day-to-day things like whether the nanny wants to encourage a few more ounces of water each day or increase reading time by 5-15 minutes. And I have yet to have a single employer who wanted a long conversation (10+ minutes) at least once per month, unless there were big issues and we were all brainstorming before bringing ideas to the table.

Wow. I have my nanny take DD to meet me at the office once a week and the three of us go to lunch together. We spend at solid half hour talking once a week.

But it sounds like your kid is preverbal. Those days are numbered and by age 2, your kid A) understands what you say so you can’t have a frank discussion about a lot of things and B) wants your undivided attention. Would you still be setting aside a half an hour a week to chat with the nanny if it meant you had to give up time with your kid?

Nanny-parent meetings are just as important as teacher-parent meetings. Would you imagine a responsible teacher would skip meeting with the parent? Regular communication is necessary.