Being a nanny and parent at the same time

[Anonymous]

I'm nearing my due date in a few weeks. For the past several years I have worked at a wonderful daycare 8am-1pm and then as a nanny 2pm-7/8pm. Nanny job conveniently and amicably finished just a few weeks ago when the family moved, so I now I only work mornings. The daycare I work at is fairly small (no more than 10 kids) but we have a mixed age group 18 months to 4 years, so it's quite intense and I don't have more free time than just enough to chug down a cup of coffee. I'm up on my feet all morning long and am pretty exhausted by the time I'm off. Nannying is much easier - I have a lot of experience and feel that I do household things (like laundry/cooking/tidying up) quite efficiently, and there is a lot of down time while I'm waiting for the kids at their activities, when do tummy time with the baby, we read or colour or whatever - I am still obviously present and engaged, but it's just easier to handle 2-3 kids in their house than 10 kids in a daycare.

My original plan has been to not seek another nanny position after I come back from maternity leave and just work mornings at the daycare. But now I am thinking that daycare is exhausting, and though now I am more tired than I usually am because I'm the size of a whale and two humans are constantly punching my guts and it'll get easier once I'm 'back to normal', being a nanny is more calm, rewarding and pays better. But if I do find a nanny position that would work with my hours, would I feel resentful towards my new charges as I have to leave my own kids to be cared by someone else? Especially when they're so small - I imagine it will feel different once they're in school.

If you worked as a nanny when your own children were very young, did you prefer a position with babies or older children? Did it make a difference at all? Were you still able to bond with your charges as well as before you had your own children? Anyone who's BTDT, please share your experiences. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Who is going to care for your baby when you are working?

[Anonymous]

Find a job where you can bring your baby, caring for a similarly-aged child. If it's full time, it will more than make up for any reduction in your rates from being a nanny without your own child (and would probably still pay more than daycare.

[Anonymous]

I believe she said, she is having twins. Much more difficult finding a family that will allow you to bring two babies to work.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'm having twins. My mother is going to look after the babies two mornings per week, one day they're going to my sister's who is a SAHM and for two days a nanny friend of mine who is an after school nanny will look after them (I'll be hiring her properly and paying her well, obviously). I'm fine with the logistics and finances - I've been saving up for this so I am staying home until they're at least 6-8 months, and then I'm working half-days until they're three.

Ideally, I would have preferred to find a nanny family and bring them with me, but I haven't been able to find a single family who'd be happy with this arrangement with twins. Understandably so to be honest!

What I'm wondering is if having my own kids will change the way I feel about any nanny kids and if leaving mine with a stranger will make me resent having to look after some new random children. I usually form strong bonds with my nanny kids and rarely with daycare kids, so I feel like it's safer to stay working at the daycare. But I'm very curious to hear from people who left their small children at home to work as nannies!

[Anonymous]

It is better to stay in daycare, OP. Yes, I would definitely resent my charge and their parents if I have to leave my babies to tend to someone else's baby. Plus, with more years working in a daycare and maybe even more college, you can command a better rate when you return to being a nanny.

And I would never hire a mother of infant twins to be my nanny - too many sick days and too tired from the sleepless nights. That is just a fact.

[Anonymous]

You will never find a family who will let you bring your child AND pay you at least minimum wage. No freaking way. Stay at the daycare.

[Anonymous]

So you prefer to piece together the days rather than have your twins join you at the daycare where you work? Would that be allowed? Would you have to pay/get a discount? Would that get prohibitively pricey? It seems like that would be easier logistically, especially since it's a small daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you prefer to piece together the days rather than have your twins join you at the daycare where you work? Would that be allowed? Would you have to pay/get a discount? Would that get prohibitively pricey? It seems like that would be easier logistically, especially since it's a small daycare.

My daycare is from 18 months, so they will join me there once they're old enough. I'm quite happy with the arrangement because I have a big family and I love the fact that they will grow up amongst family. I am just weighing being a nanny vs. continuing at the daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will never find a family who will let you bring your child AND pay you at least minimum wage. No freaking way. Stay at the daycare.

I'm not interested in bringing my children to work. I understand perfectly well why no one would be happy to pay well for a nanny who is bringing two extra infants each day.

[Anonymous]

I don't get your question. Find a job that works for you. How will you make enough to cover another nanny carrying for your kids - that makes no sense. Didn't you post this before? Where is Dad in all this? Don't drain through your savings as you don't know what the kids will need and could have some major expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get your question. Find a job that works for you. How will you make enough to cover another nanny carrying for your kids - that makes no sense. Didn't you post this before? Where is Dad in all this? Don't drain through your savings as you don't know what the kids will need and could have some major expenses.

OP here. Yes, I have actually posted a few months ago asking what nannies did with their own kids, good memory. However, as you can see, I am not asking what I should do with my own children. I am very happy with the arrangement that I have and can finance it well. I'm looking for people to share their experiences leaving their very young children to be cared by someone else while they nanny other people's children, because hearing from people who have been there and done that will actually help me make an informed choice on whether to return to work at a daycare or find a nanny position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get your question. Find a job that works for you. How will you make enough to cover another nanny carrying for your kids - that makes no sense. Didn't you post this before? Where is Dad in all this? Don't drain through your savings as you don't know what the kids will need and could have some major expenses.

OP here. Yes, I have actually posted a few months ago asking what nannies did with their own kids, good memory. However, as you can see, I am not asking what I should do with my own children. I am very happy with the arrangement that I have and can finance it well. I'm looking for people to share their experiences leaving their very young children to be cared by someone else while they nanny other people's children, because hearing from people who have been there and done that will actually help me make an informed choice on whether to return to work at a daycare or find a nanny position.

In less you have family money or huge savings, you are taking a huge risk financially with twin working for $18-25 an hour given what your child care costs will be. You also have to include medical co-pays, diapers, formula (if you cannot breastfeed or choose not to), clothing, and more. If one has SN, it can be extremely expensive with services and other stuff. It makes sense to take the higher paying job with the most flexibility as if your child care is not available, then can a family cover you not working that day. Usually one hires a nanny, so they don't have to worry about child care.

[Anonymous]

Choose daycare. Also looking into working at a larger daycare facility like a Bright Horizons that has an accredited preschool. When you return to being a nanny when your kids are older, you can demand a much higher hourly with preschool teaching experience.

[Anonymous]

I would not hire a nanny with infant twins. No way, no how. Even if you luck out and have the world's healthiest twins who never have doctors' appointments, I'm going to assume you're getting very little rest at home. I don't want you half-assing it because you're tired, or driving my kid while you're sleep-deprived. Every twin family I know says the first year is harder and more exhausting than you can imagine.