Nanny share for two toddlers and an infant

[Anonymous]

The other family in our nanny share is expecting baby number 2. Our toddlers, who are a week apart in age, will be 25 months old when the other mom goes back to work. The baby will be just shy of 4 months old. We are open to all options, but we love the share and hate to part ways. Would you consider a three-child share with kids this age? I think it's a lot for the nanny to handle, but says she is up for it.

[Anonymous]

Does nanny have experience handling two older kids and an infant? How much infant experience does she have? How much experience does the nanny have with twin or share toddlers? How about the share location? Is it set up so that nanny could leave two toddlers unsupervised for a few minutes while dealing with the baby? Are there easily-supervised activities close by (such as an indoor soft play room, a fenced-in park with mostly little kid equipment, a soccer field)? Does the share house have a yard or at least a dedicated playroom? How does the pregnant family feel about the fact that baby will get short shrift on naps and floor time?

[Anonymous]

No. I wouldn't consider it. There is no way a nanny can devote adequate time to the needs of three children. Perhaps it is time for daycare for your child?

[Anonymous]

Nanny says she is up for it, but she does not understand truly what she has gotten herself into.

It is a lot to handle.
She will have three children in diapers & will be feeding the infant often.
She will need to keep the toddlers quiet while the baby naps and will spend a majority of time soothing a crying infant while supervising + entertaining two toddlers.

She will be overwhelmed, stressed to the max and will eventually burn herself out.

You could not pay me a million $$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The other family in our nanny share is expecting baby number 2. Our toddlers, who are a week apart in age, will be 25 months old when the other mom goes back to work. The baby will be just shy of 4 months old. We are open to all options, but we love the share and hate to part ways. Would you consider a three-child share with kids this age? I think it's a lot for the nanny to handle, but says she is up for it.

Why do you think nanny can’t handle it? If she says she’s up for it, give it a shot. The older children are already probably attached to her and it would be hard for a new nanny to handle 3 children, while trying to build that bond/trust with the toddlers. You may need to seek daycare options.

[Anonymous]

Mothers of twins and a third child handle it so I am certain a good nanny could. I would think if anyone got less of the nanny's time/attention, it would be the newborn.

[Anonymous]

I’m guessing she has at least a little experience with this or something similar, or she wouldn’t have said that she was capable.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the input. The nanny doesn't have experience with an arrangement like this, which is why I am hesitating. The logistics of taking all three of them out seem pretty difficult to me.

Maybe I will look into daycare or another share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the input. The nanny doesn't have experience with an arrangement like this, which is why I am hesitating. The logistics of taking all three of them out seem pretty difficult to me.

Maybe I will look into daycare or another share.

She doesn’t have experience with a toddler and an infant? Or she doesn’t have experience with two toddlers and an infant? Going from one toddler to two with an infant in tow isn’t that big of a change. I wouldn’t want to do it, but I don’t particularly like to work with infants. If she can handle two toddlers, has experience with a toddler or preschooler and an infant, I would think she could do it.

[Anonymous]

Does nanny have experience with both age groups? I’m getting ready to have 3 children in my share, 2 toddler (about 26/27 months) when I take on baby #3 (I’ve always worked with multiples, simultaneously). Maybe have the nanny draw up a schedule? Ask questions on how she would handle certain situations etc. to give you a piece of mind. I will have a 3 seat stroller and baby carrier to take all 3 children out. We are metro accessible to all activities and some are walking distance, which is great. The toddlers are on a nap schedule, and even if they do not sleep, parents want them to have downtime, in their crib/pack-n-play- which is great for me to give baby one-on-one time when not asleep. Aside from that, whenever we engage in arts and crafts, the baby will be near or in the carrier so that I can still engage with the other two children. They are also super helpful, so I can’t wait to see how they will be with him or her. There will definitely be challenges but it’s not impossible. It’s also good to plan ahead, so that the day can go as smoothly as possible.

Maybe give her a trial period with all 3 children? If not, you would definitely need to look into daycare arrangements ASAP, as most infant programs have a waitlist and you’ll need care for 2 children.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny that's going to have twin 2.5 year olds and a newborn.

Honestly I feel confident. Toddlers are on a great schedule. For outings I plan to baby wear a lot. I can easily adapt the activities I plan for the toddlers to make sure the baby gets something out of it as well.

[Anonymous]

I understand you like the share but would this be the best situation for your child. I’d imagine at least for some time the baby’s needs are going to conflict with your child’s. Off the top of my head I imagine the baby will obviously need to nap more and be fed more often so that will restrict them from straying too far from home during the day. So much of the time will be spent indoors vs your son being outside playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the input. The nanny doesn't have experience with an arrangement like this, which is why I am hesitating. The logistics of taking all three of them out seem pretty difficult to me.

Maybe I will look into daycare or another share.

She doesn’t have experience with a toddler and an infant? Or she doesn’t have experience with two toddlers and an infant? Going from one toddler to two with an infant in tow isn’t that big of a change. I wouldn’t want to do it, but I don’t particularly like to work with infants. If she can handle two toddlers, has experience with a toddler or preschooler and an infant, I would think she could do it.

She hasn't done three kids or a 2 year age spread before. Lots of experience with shares of young babies to toddlers.

[Anonymous]

If you like the Nanny I would give it a try. Doesn't hurt to try something for 6 mos or so. See how it goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the input. The nanny doesn't have experience with an arrangement like this, which is why I am hesitating. The logistics of taking all three of them out seem pretty difficult to me.

Maybe I will look into daycare or another share.

She doesn’t have experience with a toddler and an infant? Or she doesn’t have experience with two toddlers and an infant? Going from one toddler to two with an infant in tow isn’t that big of a change. I wouldn’t want to do it, but I don’t particularly like to work with infants. If she can handle two toddlers, has experience with a toddler or preschooler and an infant, I would think she could do it.

She hasn't done three kids or a 2 year age spread before. Lots of experience with shares of young babies to toddlers.

NP. I am a nanny who has done the new-baby thing multiple times, including with toddler twins and new baby. Having same-age kids is a completely different ball game from having toddler and baby. 2 yo and baby is harder than infant triplets.