Set up with MBs brother?

[Anonymous]

I’ve worked for this family for 3 years and all the kids will go to school in the fall so my time is winding down. The parents are getting divorced (it’s possible I’ll move with MB to help with the transition.) MB and I took the kids for dinner last week and while the kids were playing, she was talking about dating. I’m not seeing anyone but it still seemed like a weird conversation, even for her. She mentioned she has a single older brother (around ten years older than me, and I’m in my 40s). He lives out of state but in the same time zone. I didn’t say too much but didn’t dismiss it either. The subject changed and she circled back to her brother three times. I’m open to being introduced though I didn’t say that explicitly since I was wrapping my head around the geographical distance. Anyway, my question is whether anyone has experience being set up with an employers family member and whether there are considerations to keep in mind that I haven’t thought of? We’re all mature adults so I’m not worried about any drama or anything. Am I right to think this is a compliment of sorts?

[Anonymous]

Strike 1--He's MB brother
Strike 2--different state
Strike 3--Don't $hit where you eat

[Anonymous]

Yes, go for it!! Is that what you want to hear?

[Anonymous]

Do not buy your meat and potatoes in the same store.

[Anonymous]

This sounds stupid. Are you serious, op?

[Anonymous]

With all the people in this world, you don’t need to start dating your boss’ brother. It doesn’t matter how mature you think everyone is.

If something happens (and anything can happen), are you prepared to possibly lose your job of three years over this? Whose side do you think your boss will take in the event of a disagreement or nasty break-up?

It’s just really not a good idea. You cannot possibly predict every possible outcome and everyone’s reactions. There are plenty more fish in the sea. Like over 7 billion. If you want to date, I would suggest looking literally anywhere else.

If she brings it up again, I would say something like, “That’s really nice of you to offer, mb, but I would never want anything to jeopardize the relationship I have with you and your children. It’s too important to me.”

[Anonymous]

It is never a good idea, OP. Yes, you should be flattered but wait until you are not working for this woman, his sister, at all.

[Anonymous]

My Grandfather, widowed some 25 years, fell in love and married my siblings and my nanny.

[Anonymous]

Um, no way.

[Anonymous]

I say, go for it. You are all adults and you said, the job is winding down. I feel like you have nothing to lose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say, go for it. You are all adults and you said, the job is winding down. I feel like you have nothing to lose.

+1 Why not, once the job is over? You could be your charges' auntie someday, how cool is that? (OK, getting way ahead of things here.)

[Anonymous]

I would not until I was no longer employed by them.

Too much of a conflict of interest here.

[Anonymous]

I would have sat down with my boss and have a deep conversation about if the relationship goes sour, and how would it affect my employment with her and myself. And depending on the conversation I would talk with him on a friendly basic but I wouldn't get too deep with him until I see where his head was leading. Apparently her boss liked her that much to want to set her up with her brother. Because many sister are very protectives of their brothers and whom they cohabitant with. I would think it was a compliment unless they were a crazy bunch of people.....lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not until I was no longer employed by them.

Too much of a conflict of interest here.

I wouldn't even do it then. I want to keep my references on good terms with me, and a soured relationship with MB's brother could ruin it, even if it wasn't until after I was no longer working with that family.

[Anonymous]

If it weren’t long distance and I had been around him and liked his personality before, I’d give it a casual shot and if it worked out great. You can always find another family and won’t be with them forever. He could be a great match for you and this could’ve been the position you ended up with for a reason.