How to tell my nanny i need her to be on time

[Anonymous]

I feel absurd even typing this because in other areas of my life I have no problem being assertive but my nanny is an older emotional woman and can get defensive and so far I haven't been effective.

She is supposed to arrive at 7:30 every day. At least 2 days a week she's 10+ minutes late and says nothing when she walks in late. Many days its no big deal, I am not rushing out the door but once or twice a week I do in fact need to be right out the door and end up running late for a meeting or meeting a friend to exercise.

She takes the metro to our house and lives pretty far out (her previous families were in our neighborhood so she wanted to stay in the neighborhood despite the commute. When I've previously said something about needing her to show up on time she says something vague about "the metro being so difficult with delays" which is true but not my problem.

I'm ok with her having a 10-15 minute window on mornings that I'm not rushed but want her on time on the days I need it. I do not expect her to be on time when there are winter weather or real metro emergency type issues.

How do I phrase this to be clear and in a way that she won't be offended / defensive?

And in case anyone is wondering, I'm on time or early in the evening with the time she's paid to stay until.

[Anonymous]

"I cannot tolerate you ever being late. What can we do to help you be on time every day?"

I write this as an older, emotional nanny, btw. Your nanny has been in the work force long enough to understand this simple work-concept.

[Anonymous]

Are you me!? This is word for word my situation except our nanny drives to us and lives close. I have talked to her about it twice and she got a little defensive, and also noted traffic and the fact that she makes up the time ( stays later on days she’s late). This doesn’t help me on days I have a meeting to get to though. She still is 5 - 10 min late everyday. And 20 min late a few times a month or more. Another thread noted this may be a cultural thing as much as I hate to stereotype...

[Anonymous]

Um, this is a major part of her job description as a childcare provider. With a nanny, on-time is late. I would be direct:

"Nanny, punctuality is an essential element of your job. You've been late on X days, and when that happens, I am late to my job, which can't happen. You need to be on time. Is there anything I can do to facilitate that?"

[Anonymous]

You may have to say to her that you know the commute is new to her, and Metro is a mess, and, and, and ... but, she wanted to stay in this neighborhood, and this is the trade-off. She will have to leave earlier.

You could also schedule her start time at 7.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s best to just tell her that you have morning meetings that you simply cannot be late for.

Stress to her that being on time is non-negotiable & that even being 10min. late can throw your entire day off.

Hopefully this will make getting to work on time a bigger priority for her and she will come to work earlier.

If not, issue her walking papers.
It is not like you didn’t warn her first.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Tell her if she's ever late again you will fire her. Sounds extreme but I did this to my mb and she got her act together very fast. She knew her daughter would be heartbroken if she lost me.

[Anonymous]

I don't know what older or emotional has to do with it. Employees are generally expected to show up ready to work at a certain time. Tell your nanny either she arrives on time or you will have no choice but to let her go. Let her react how she reacts. Stop being such a child, OP.

[Anonymous]

We had this issue with our nanny. We finally had a conversation where I told her that we don't really care what time she starts, as long as she starts on time. I was pretty emphatic that we needed her to give us a reliable start time, something that we could depend on. She was scheduled for 7:30-5, and I offered to push it to 8-5:30 if she needed more time to get there in the morning. She apologized and said she preferred the earlier time, and now 6 months later, has only been late once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, this is a major part of her job description as a childcare provider. With a nanny, on-time is late. I would be direct:

"Nanny, punctuality is an essential element of your job. You've been late on X days, and when that happens, I am late to my job, which can't happen. You need to be on time. Is there anything I can do to facilitate that?"

The nanny should not be late but I disagree with this mentality. If start time is 7, then 7 it is. If you need her to be there at 6:55 then that should be her start time. On time is on time, not late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, this is a major part of her job description as a childcare provider. With a nanny, on-time is late. I would be direct:

"Nanny, punctuality is an essential element of your job. You've been late on X days, and when that happens, I am late to my job, which can't happen. You need to be on time. Is there anything I can do to facilitate that?"

The nanny should not be late but I disagree with this mentality. If start time is 7, then 7 it is. If you need her to be there at 6:55 then that should be her start time. On time is on time, not late.

Another nanny here and I agree. I am not coming early but will absolutely be on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, this is a major part of her job description as a childcare provider. With a nanny, on-time is late. I would be direct:

"Nanny, punctuality is an essential element of your job. You've been late on X days, and when that happens, I am late to my job, which can't happen. You need to be on time. Is there anything I can do to facilitate that?"

The nanny should not be late but I disagree with this mentality. If start time is 7, then 7 it is. If you need her to be there at 6:55 then that should be her start time. On time is on time, not late.

Yet another nanny, but I disagree. Start time is when you start, not when you walk in the door. If the parents want you to start at 7, you get there by 5 til, take care of personal items, maybe use the bathroom or wash hands. Whatever you do, start time is when you actually start doing things for THEM, not take care of things for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, this is a major part of her job description as a childcare provider. With a nanny, on-time is late. I would be direct:

"Nanny, punctuality is an essential element of your job. You've been late on X days, and when that happens, I am late to my job, which can't happen. You need to be on time. Is there anything I can do to facilitate that?"

The nanny should not be late but I disagree with this mentality. If start time is 7, then 7 it is. If you need her to be there at 6:55 then that should be her start time. On time is on time, not late.

Yet another nanny, but I disagree. Start time is when you start, not when you walk in the door. If the parents want you to start at 7, you get there by 5 til, take care of personal items, maybe use the bathroom or wash hands. Whatever you do, start time is when you actually start doing things for THEM, not take care of things for you.

PP with 5-10 min daily late nanny. On top of being 5-10 min late our nanny always does all of the above, uses bathroom, washes hands, puts lunch in fridge etc. which adds another 5-10 min.

[Anonymous]

I would flat out let the nanny know that you expect her to be there on time (7:30) each day. It’s understood that there may be events where traffic is heavy or the metro has delays and when this happens, you are to call or text me at least 15 minutes before. There are days I may have a meeting or etc and I need to be on time- and you don’t even have to share that. I’m sure she signed a contract that states her schedule. If you cannot be on time we may be force to find another nanny because I cannot continue to be late for work. It’s unprofessional and inconsiderate for the nanny or parents to be late everyday and not even notify the person.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I think it's best to have a buffer on each end for the nanny arriving in the morning, and the parent arriving in the evening. Playing devil's advocate here, but are you always on time at the end of the day? I ask this, because some nannies feel it's a bit of a give-and-take situation. "Well, she's always 10 minutes late at the end of the day, she won't mind if I'm 10 minutes at the start. No big deal." It's not done with malice intent, some families and nannies are more laxed about this.

I would say on the days you need to leave -immediately- once she arrives, you maybe ask her to arrive 15-30 minutes early, so you aren't having to rush out the door. That just puts extra stress on you to no have that buffer. As a nanny, the overlap of mom or dad being there is actually helpful. It prevents the kids, if super young, associating my arrive to mean mom's leaving. It also allows you time to finish getting ready or to pack up our bag a bit stressfree, as you have the nanny support.

Regardless if you add the buffer time or not, I would still talk with your nanny about the time issue. I would simply say, "Hey, can we talk about the morning routine?" Then just say, "I need to leave by X time on X days, and am asking for you to arrive promptly. I've noticed you've been arriving 10-15 minutes late. As I really need you on time, what can I do to help you fix that?"

Asking how you can help to fix it shows you aren't just "barking an order," and shows you respect her. In the end, you are just asking for her to respect your time as much as you respect hers.