How to set the tone with new Nanny?

[Anonymous]

Hello, we’ve been interviewing new Nanny candidates over the holidays and one seems like a great fit for us. She’s young and this will be her first full time position. I’d like to talk to her gently about her appearance, she wears a very heavy perfume that I already asked her not to use in our home as it’s overbearing, she has long painted nails and she’s dragged them along several surfaces so now we have Red scuffs on white furniture, can I ask her not to paint her nails? Lastly her clothes are not ideal, can I offer to buy her five modest shirts from express to wear at work each week?
Do I sound crazy? I want to start this right from the beginning and don’t want to hurt her feelings. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Has this nanny ever worked with babies and children before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has this nanny ever worked with babies and children before?

Yes in a daycare setting. Our kids are older and she’ll be taking them to school, actiivities, preparing their meals etc.
Also she has long hair and I already asked her to keep it tied back when she’s working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has this nanny ever worked with babies and children before?

Yes in a daycare setting. Our kids are older and she’ll be taking them to school, actiivities, preparing their meals etc.
Also she has long hair and I already asked her to keep it tied back when she’s working.

No, in that case I don't think you have the right to tell her to stop doing her nails or what to wear. You can ask her to stop dragging her nails over surfaces, however (how bizarre she does that!).

[Anonymous]

yeah this is crazy. you shouldn't have hired this person if she has an aesthetic that you find so unacceptable. you're free to tell her whatever you want regarding her appearance, but she is going to be offended.
i think the only thing you can say is that you are sensitive/allergic to perfumes and ask her to please refrain from wearing it at work.

[Anonymous]

While I can see your concerns here, this particular girl does not sound like she will be a suitable fit for your family.

You will start off on the wrong foot for sure if you try to micromanage her outer appearance.
And I am pretty sure that is just the tip of the iceberg.
You will also be micromanaging everything she actually does while on the job.

This sounds like a recipe for disaster, I can promise you this.

I would hire someone else, one who doesn’t have long, painted acrylic nails.
Someone who has a more simple appearance who won’t mind adhering to your specific dress code.

But like I stated before,
I strongly suggest you are one of those bosses that will be impossible to please no matter what type of Nanny you end up hiring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yeah this is crazy. you shouldn't have hired this person if she has an aesthetic that you find so unacceptable. you're free to tell her whatever you want regarding her appearance, but she is going to be offended.
i think the only thing you can say is that you are sensitive/allergic to perfumes and ask her to please refrain from wearing it at work.

I would tell her no perfume at work. Either she follows it or leaves. That would have been a condition of employment though.

Show her the nail polish marks and say "you need to stop doing whatever is causing this."

[Anonymous]

It is totally reasonable to ask a professional to have a professional appearance, that includes the dress code, Hair back, clean Nails. Just lay it out for her in your agreement.

[Anonymous]

How much are you paying her?

[Anonymous]

Find a different nanny please, one who already has an understanding of what is appropriate for working with young kids. why do you say she seems like a good fit when she is missing these key components? Is it ability to work an unusual schedule, an uncommon language/other skill she has, etc? Unless it's something really rare that you really need, I would not hire her. You will only find yourself having to micromanage her on other "obvious" things like "please always make the kids wear seat belts in the car even for short rides", "please don't let my 6 mo old watch TV, not even 30 min", "please don't invite random nannies you met at the park to my house without letting me know first"... and so on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much are you paying her?

$25/hour, 40 hours a week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a different nanny please, one who already has an understanding of what is appropriate for working with young kids. why do you say she seems like a good fit when she is missing these key components? Is it ability to work an unusual schedule, an uncommon language/other skill she has, etc? Unless it's something really rare that you really need, I would not hire her. You will only find yourself having to micromanage her on other "obvious" things like "please always make the kids wear seat belts in the car even for short rides", "please don't let my 6 mo old watch TV, not even 30 min", "please don't invite random nannies you met at the park to my house without letting me know first"... and so on.

Thank you. There’s nothing unique about the role, we just really liked her enthusiasm and energy. The others were older and more experienced but so many complain a lot about former employers or charges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you paying her?

$25/hour, 40 hours a week

What? No matter where you live, that should get you a good professional nanny with more than just daycare experience and who knows all this stuff already! This is so unbelievable now I suspect troll post...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are you paying her?

$25/hour, 40 hours a week

What? No matter where you live, that should get you a good professional nanny with more than just daycare experience and who knows all this stuff already! This is so unbelievable now I suspect troll post...[/quot

Not a troll, new mom trying to find the best care for our kids. I phone interviewed 10+ people, we met 6 and had three do a trial. The more seasoned nannies complained (bitched) a lot whereas this young woman is really excited about the opportunity.

[Anonymous]

You sound/are crazy. Firstly for hiring someone’s whose aesthetic you dislike and secondly for trying to micromanage her appearance after hire. The perfume and nails thing is fair enough but her clothes and how to wear her hair? Watch your own kids.