How much is "shared" during Nanny Share
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Anonymous
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Hi,
Looking for advice and how other families have handled nanny share situations. We are the host family for our nanny share (us and one other family - one child each, same age). We've been together for a few months but recently have a new nanny. I am fine with most of the hosting responsibilities (shared toys, always having an extra crib up, extra high chair, etc.), but recently something has started to bug me and I need to know if I'm being unreasonable or if it is "part of the hosting responsibility". Our kids are recently eating solid foods, and the nanny is constantly feeding the other child whatever she feeds my child. The other family sends food for their child, which she eats during meal times, but snacks are always supplied to both kids from whatever I supply for my child. I am not trying to sound selfish, I just am not sure what normal expectations are. I do not believe the other family is even aware that this is happening, so I'm not "mad at them" I'm just increasingly getting frustrated that I'm feeding two kids instead of one. I've asked the nanny "What does X's family provide for snacks?" and she always just says, "Oh she doesn't really eat snacks" but I know that is not true because when I am home I see the nanny giving both kids our food. What I am asking is: 1) Am I being too petty? Should I just let it go and understand that hosting comes with more costs and responsibilities. 2) Is it worth bringing up with the other family? If my kid was eating something I would at least want to know what she's eating? And maybe we could resolve? 3) Should I be more direct with the nanny? "These snacks are only for B, if you would like X to have snacks please talk to her parents". Thanks for any insights!! |
Anonymous
| Let it go!! Make the other mother aware that her child IS snacking but don't be petty over a couple dollars a week. |
Anonymous
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1 or 2 but definitely not 3.
Realistically how much extra is it costing for them to share snacks? |
Anonymous
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Oh, come on! How much does the other kid eat for snack - a quarter of an apple and a string cheese?! If finances are that tough, OP, you should not have a nanny!
Do you let your nanny eat? |
Anonymous
| Never 3!! How fricking cruel to put your nanny in the position to deny a little kid food! |
Anonymous
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As a mom I'd want to know what my kid was eating. I only give my child organic food - little sodium, little sugar. If I provide my kid food and my nanny is giving him something different I'd want to know. I think you should discuss with the other mom!
I get that people are saying it's a few dollars a week, but even $5 a week comes out to over $250 a year. Not that it's a ton, but maybe you and the other parent should set something up for shared snacks? |
Anonymous
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PP 11:08 - it doesn't seem like she wants to deny a kid food, just asking how to handle the cost sharing/situation.
Shouldn't the other mom provide for her kid? |
Anonymous
| Why is this such a thing? Just let the other mom know that her kid has started wanting snacks during the day and ask her to send whatever snacks she wants her kid to eat along with her regular food. An additional concern other than the cost is that the other mom may not want her kid snacking at all or having the snacks the nanny is giving her but is completely unaware her kid is getting this food. |
Anonymous
| As the Nanny it is easier to give them the same food, especially as they get older and start wanting whats on each others plates. I would find a nice way to tell the other family that you have started snacks and this is what they have been eating, and would they mind getting some now and again. |
Anonymous
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Why can't you talk to the other family and do this like they do at preschools: each family provides snack for a week.
On Monday, when it's their week, they can drop off a bunch of bananas and some peanut butter crackers, or whatever. When it's your week, you have string cheese and oranges. or whatever. Or ask the other mom to include snacks. How big a snack are we talking? I'm assuming a handful of goldfish or something, not a couple jars of baby food. |
Anonymous
| I think it’s strange that your nanny hasn’t addressed this with them. |
Anonymous
The drama! No kid is going to die if s/he doesn’t get a snack. Heck, a kid won’t even go hungry if s/he misses a snack. Stop being so dramatic, please! |
Anonymous
+1. Really, I think it’s the nanny’s responsibility to let the parents know the kids are snacking and ask them to provide food (otherwise, without OP happening to be home, how would either parent ever know?). But, since nanny isn’t following through, just talk to the other mom and ask her to provide snacks. No, it isn’t your responsibility to finance the snacks. But the adults could agree to alternate weeks/keep a tab to ensure that the kids are eating the same thing, if you so desire. |
Anonymous
NP here and do you want to be the caregiver dealing with a crying toddler who doesn't understand why the other kid gets to eat but he doesn't? Have you ever been around very little kids? |
Anonymous
Did you read the OP? Telling the nanny the snacks were off-limits was suggested as a means to get nanny to tell other family to provide snacks. If one kid doesn’t have snacks, the host family kid could go without snacks (which is what I would do as the nanny - not feed one in front of the other. But that didn’t occur to you, did it?). I also have young kids. Yes, they sometimes get upset if they don’t get what they want, but our job as adults is to teach them that they don’t always get their way. At least, that’s what I’m doing with my children. |