Parents, be honest with potential nannies

[Anonymous]

Just had to put in my notice 2 weeks into my new job because the parents were it honest about the position.

They sold me this perfect position. Great pay, good hours, great benefits and good location. Infant twins.

What I wasn’t told was that Grandma would be working with me everyday. Nope.

I gave my notice Friday and cited my reason. I work alone, and if I don’t I definitely don’t work with family members. They acted totally shocked. They told me they didn’t mention it because they thought of it as a perk, “extra help!”.

No. Not a perk. I’ve been nannying 18 years and this is my 5th set of multiples. I don’t need help. What I get with Grandma is a 65-year-old woman standing over my shoulders telling me how to do my job. Pass.

I think they knew it wasn’t a perk and thought once I signed a contract I’d be stuck? No. Nope. Nada.

I can’t get over some of these parents. If you want someone who will work with your mother, that’s fine but be open and honest about it. Yes. You’ll get rejected by a lot of top tier nannies, but you’ll find someone.

Why even go through the trouble of paying top dollar and extensively checking education, references and abilities if you weren’t planning on leaving them alone with your child?

Why not save a lot of money and hire a Mothers Helper. That’s what you need.

[Anonymous]

I sometimes think parents struggle with this because of perspective. It’s helpful for them to have grandma, so in turn they assume a nanny will feel that way automatically. I’ve worked closely with lots of family members, it can be great but mostly it makes things much harder than being alone.

I don’t blame you for quitting. Bad fit all around

[Anonymous]

When we had a nanny for our twins we had each grandma come over on different afternoons and each twin got one on one time with a grandma each week as they went on an adventure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we had a nanny for our twins we had each grandma come over on different afternoons and each twin got one on one time with a grandma each week as they went on an adventure.

This is sane, reasonable and fun. Lots of parents are none of those things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we had a nanny for our twins we had each grandma come over on different afternoons and each twin got one on one time with a grandma each week as they went on an adventure.

Op again.

That sounds nice and reasonable.

I don’t have anything against grandparents or family members visiting. That’s standard. But every day, all day? No.

[Anonymous]

Good decision. I left a position for that reason

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. I honestly do not know what some young parents are thinking.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they wanted to do that for a while until you can manage on your own ? Well, I know that as a nanny you CAN manage on your own of course, but grandma was available and they didn't see her presence as a problem ...

I've had the same problem before with a work at home dad.
They didn't mention it to me when I got the job.
I wouldn't have accepted for sure and I quit because of that because as I had suspected it became too annoying.

[Anonymous]

I wholeheartedly agree w/you on this OP.

Working alongside a Grandmother every single day sounds like the job from you know where!

Been there.
Did that.
It was terrible.

I was constantly being micromanaged, critiqued + questioned.
I hated every day.

Good for you for giving notice.
If I had felt deceived like you, I may not have given any notice.

Good luck in your next position!

[Anonymous]

What a shame the parents failed to first ask the nanny. Now the poor children will have to get used to a new primary caregiver. Hope that doesn't happen too often!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a shame the parents failed to first ask the nanny. Now the poor children will have to get used to a new primary caregiver. Hope that doesn't happen too often!

i can’t tell if you are being sarcastic or not. Maybe you are being sincere?

But I never said the parents should ask me. They are free to have any childcare arrangement they wish. I also have the right to know what I’m signing up for, and that’s not to be a Gransmothers helper.

[Anonymous]

Working with a grandma at home is same if not worse as working for a stay at home mother. Nannies don’t do this, it is worse than working at McDonald’s. I have been there and could never again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just had to put in my notice 2 weeks into my new job because the parents were it honest about the position.

They sold me this perfect position. Great pay, good hours, great benefits and good location. Infant twins.

What I wasn’t told was that Grandma would be working with me everyday. Nope.

I gave my notice Friday and cited my reason. I work alone, and if I don’t I definitely don’t work with family members. They acted totally shocked. They told me they didn’t mention it because they thought of it as a perk, “extra help!”.

No. Not a perk. I’ve been nannying 18 years and this is my 5th set of multiples. I don’t need help. What I get with Grandma is a 65-year-old woman standing over my shoulders telling me how to do my job. Pass.

I think they knew it wasn’t a perk and thought once I signed a contract I’d be stuck? No. Nope. Nada.

I can’t get over some of these parents. If you want someone who will work with your mother, that’s fine but be open and honest about it. Yes. You’ll get rejected by a lot of top tier nannies, but you’ll find someone.

Why even go through the trouble of paying top dollar and extensively checking education, references and abilities if you weren’t planning on leaving them alone with your child?

Why not save a lot of money and hire a Mothers Helper. That’s what you need.

Your post gave me the courage to quit my job. I work for a stay at home mom, who used to have both a night nanny and a day nanny (me). Now she only has me. I have been taking care of my charge since he was 5 months. Now he is 13 months. His mom is making my job very, very difficult. I knew what I was signing for though, but I accepted the position, because I could not find anything better at that time and the benefits were great. Never ever again I will work for a stay-at-home or a work from home parent. I feel like my sanity is going down the toilets.

I admire your courage and honesty with your employer. I hope you find a better job quickly.

Best.

I admire your cour

[Anonymous]

OK, new parent perspective here. I was considering hiring a nanny and wouldn't have thought this was an issue. Obviously I'm wrong, but maybe if you are a nanny interviewing you should ask these questions too. Sometimes new parents don't know what to ask!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, new parent perspective here. I was considering hiring a nanny and wouldn't have thought this was an issue. Obviously I'm wrong, but maybe if you are a nanny interviewing you should ask these questions too. Sometimes new parents don't know what to ask!

A nanny asking how much family will be wround is a red flag for many parents. They think the nanny wants to hide something.

Parents need to talk about every aspect. Better yet, list it in the original ad.