Just discouraged...

[Anonymous]

DB/MB split up this year, so my schedule is chaos going back and forth between households, grocery shopping, stocking diapers, keeping up with laundry, organization stuff and cooking for kids at two households, as well as managing typical toddler/preschooler behavioral stages compounded by everything in their lives being topsy turvy. Extended family has decided that the best way to support DB and MB and the girls is to come visit often and tell me how I am doing everything wrong. To top it all off, my 2-year evaluation meeting was due in early September and I was going to ask for a raise since my job now is SO MUCH HARDER, but they keep canceling/rescheduling because things come up and they are always out of town (oh yeah, and my schedule varies week-to-week depending on their work travel). Now, in addition to not being able to raise any of the issues that are making this job increasingly impossible, AND not being able to ask for my much-deserved raise (currently $20 an hour for 2 under 4 and I do all household grocery shopping and manage all kid laundry and cooking including for weekends and I work 60 hrs a week), DB is now complaining that they spend too much on childcare and should cut my hours since I am too expensive, but the part time nanny he wants to hire won’t be in charge of anything but childcare, so I would be doing all the same grunt work in less time and just cut out the times when I get to actually play with the kids. I love this family but I am so tired and underappreciated.

[Anonymous]

As hard as it is going to be, OP, I think it is time to look for another position. This situation is not going to get better. I am so sorry - you deserve a better.

I was truly heartbroken to leave my last job as I loved that little boy so much and had been with him from birth. But it was never a good fit with his parents and there were always issues. I went above and beyond for them -- and they gave me two weeks notice when they decided to put him in daycare. Luckily, I do still see him once a week and we are still very close. I still dislike his parents but can fake it.

Anyway, I found another job immediately with another newborn and the difference is night and day. My new (well - two year old) employers are respectful and so appreciative. Plus I earn $9 more an hour than I did with my first family and only have to work four days a week! Perfect schedule and perfect family. I love my new charge with all my heart and often get her together with my former charge!

Start looking for another position, OP. As sad as it seems now - it will all be for the best. You deserve to be happy, too. I never even knew how much happier I could be until I found my new position.

All the best to you!

[Anonymous]

Start looking for another job, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, find a new job. They are paying for two households on what they were paying one on and its clearly not manageable for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, find a new job. They are paying for two households on what they were paying one on and its clearly not manageable for them.

I am 100% sure that I MB could afford me entirely on her own, but the real issue is that DB could not even afford half of my salary and is resentful that she makes so much more.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s time to make a big fuss and put your foot down about the meeting. You cannot continue like this anymore OP or this resentment will fester. You deserve a raise and to be heard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, find a new job. They are paying for two households on what they were paying one on and its clearly not manageable for them.

I am 100% sure that I MB could afford me entirely on her own, but the real issue is that DB could not even afford half of my salary and is resentful that she makes so much more.

Depending on the custody share, she may be paying child support.

[Anonymous]

You might need to lay it all out in an email. Try to make it concise while covering your change in duties and desired raise.

I hope things work out for you! I have a very strong feeling the family I work for is headed for divorce sooner than later and I may be facing similar issues. Having a hard time deciding whether to stick it out until they figure out what they're doing and how that will affect my job, or whether I should cut and run before there's anymore drama or I get hit with a two week notice.

[Anonymous]

If you like them and if they listened to you before, I would ask for a meeting again, and if they refuse/wait too long, put this all in an email. Then based on their reaction work from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you like them and if they listened to you before, I would ask for a meeting again, and if they refuse/wait too long, put this all in an email. Then based on their reaction work from there.

Thanks. That is what I will do. And fire up my care.com account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might need to lay it all out in an email. Try to make it concise while covering your change in duties and desired raise.

I hope things work out for you! I have a very strong feeling the family I work for is headed for divorce sooner than later and I may be facing similar issues. Having a hard time deciding whether to stick it out until they figure out what they're doing and how that will affect my job, or whether I should cut and run before there's anymore drama or I get hit with a two week notice.

I definitely have felt trapped because I wanted to be someone consistent for the kids.

[Anonymous]

What if you suggested that the part time person take on all the housekeeping duties, and maybe just did one day of child care?

[Anonymous]

The OP nanny seems to care more about the children than the parents do. I see this dynamic regularly.

[Anonymous]

If dad is el cheapo, work only for Mom. Dad will be dealt a blow. He will lose you when he needs it most!

[Anonymous]

Too late now but thus should have been addressed when they split up. The best thing for you to forward is to d another job, give TWO weeks notice and move on. This situation will not get better and chances are good they cannot afford to pay you more. Good luck.