Starting Potty Training without Parents

[Anonymous]

I am the nanny for a very bright twenty-month-old DD (40 hours, 4 days a week). Her parents and I both agree that she should be toilet trained early - between 20 and 30 months. However, her parents, while lovely and loving people, are terrible at organization and follow through. Whatever I start Monday thru Thursday will likely be messed up Friday through Sunday.

How can I start the potty training process utilizing my four days a week? I have put her in underwear and she doesn't care about being wet but loathes a poop diaper and asks to be changed immediately. I would be happy even just poop-training her now.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

So, you train 4 days a week and parents do nothing 3 days. This is two steps forward and one step back every week. Pointless to even try if these parents are not on board.

[Anonymous]

Just do it.

The kid can go potty for you and crap in her pants for her parents.

[Anonymous]

My son poop-trained himself. He was a little older than this, but it started with him wanting his diaper changed. He was also super obvious when he was about to poop (he'd go hide in a closet). Our nanny caught him one time before he pooped, and he successfully went on the potty. Then we did a few days of skittles.

He is still not pee trained, and wears a diaper, but always poops in the potty. It was not much work at all. If she responds quickly to training, the parents may happily keep it up.

FWIW, this is my fourth child. None of my others trained before 3, and I was in no hurry. I was skeptical, especially because he couldn't manage his own clothes yet. But my nanny went ahead, and it clicked. At some point we'll take a week off activities and work on pee.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. My last nanny family's 22 month old seemed ready, and I had discussed my potty training plans with the parents, including explaining that once we started the process he was expected to be in underwear or bottomless (at home) during all awake times from that point forward. I worked with him 5 days a week (10 hour days Mon-Thurs, 6 hour day on Friday). I reminded the parents the week before I started and they again said they were on board and would make sure that grandma and grandpa (who watched him Friday mornings) were on board.

That first week I kept him bottomless at home with potties at the ready. He was doing fabulous, on Wednesday he only had one accident and he was accident free on Thursday! He spent Friday morning with grandma and grandpa (as usual) and when I picked him up he was in diapers, and apparently had been all morning. When we got home he was bottomless for 45 mins before nap and had an accident. Friday evening when I left he was bottomless and doing well.

Monday when I arrived the parents told me they "had to" put him in diapers because they "had to" go on family outings on Saturday and Sunday and didn't want to deal with accidents. Of course he'd regressed but I forged ahead. That day was the worst accident day we'd had yet, even worse than the previous Monday (day 1 of potty training). Tuesday was a little better (about 3 accidents), so was Wednesday (1 or 2 accidents). By Thursday he was mostly all the way back on track and only had one little accident in our 10 hour day, right after he woke up in the morning.

Thursday evening as I was leaving I asked the parents to please please remind grandma to try even a little time without a diaper on Friday morning. That's when MB and DB told me that they wanted to stop potty training. They said "it isn't fair to him, because he keeps having accidents with us so he's obviously not ready... and it isn't fair to you because we just aren't able to deal with him having these accidents so we're putting him back in diapers until he's really ready to wear underwear and not have accidents."

That was two weeks of intense potty training for NOTHING. Don't do it if the parents aren't fully on board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it. My last nanny family's 22 month old seemed ready, and I had discussed my potty training plans with the parents, including explaining that once we started the process he was expected to be in underwear or bottomless (at home) during all awake times from that point forward. I worked with him 5 days a week (10 hour days Mon-Thurs, 6 hour day on Friday). I reminded the parents the week before I started and they again said they were on board and would make sure that grandma and grandpa (who watched him Friday mornings) were on board.

That first week I kept him bottomless at home with potties at the ready. He was doing fabulous, on Wednesday he only had one accident and he was accident free on Thursday! He spent Friday morning with grandma and grandpa (as usual) and when I picked him up he was in diapers, and apparently had been all morning. When we got home he was bottomless for 45 mins before nap and had an accident. Friday evening when I left he was bottomless and doing well.

Monday when I arrived the parents told me they "had to" put him in diapers because they "had to" go on family outings on Saturday and Sunday and didn't want to deal with accidents. Of course he'd regressed but I forged ahead. That day was the worst accident day we'd had yet, even worse than the previous Monday (day 1 of potty training). Tuesday was a little better (about 3 accidents), so was Wednesday (1 or 2 accidents). By Thursday he was mostly all the way back on track and only had one little accident in our 10 hour day, right after he woke up in the morning.

Thursday evening as I was leaving I asked the parents to please please remind grandma to try even a little time without a diaper on Friday morning. That's when MB and DB told me that they wanted to stop potty training. They said "it isn't fair to him, because he keeps having accidents with us so he's obviously not ready... and it isn't fair to you because we just aren't able to deal with him having these accidents so we're putting him back in diapers until he's really ready to wear underwear and not have accidents."

That was two weeks of intense potty training for NOTHING. Don't do it if the parents aren't fully on board.

I would agree with this, except for the judgey tone about the parents not following through. I would argue that the family outings are more important as potty training a toddler.

There really isn't anything wrong with waiting. My three kids who trained at 3+ trained in literally 1 day. No accidents, no need for timers, no need for reminders ... They were kids rather than babies. Never had the "battle of wills" people warn you about with late trainers.

[Anonymous]

Our two year old was potty trained as soon as we gave him underpants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it. My last nanny family's 22 month old seemed ready, and I had discussed my potty training plans with the parents, including explaining that once we started the process he was expected to be in underwear or bottomless (at home) during all awake times from that point forward. I worked with him 5 days a week (10 hour days Mon-Thurs, 6 hour day on Friday). I reminded the parents the week before I started and they again said they were on board and would make sure that grandma and grandpa (who watched him Friday mornings) were on board.

That first week I kept him bottomless at home with potties at the ready. He was doing fabulous, on Wednesday he only had one accident and he was accident free on Thursday! He spent Friday morning with grandma and grandpa (as usual) and when I picked him up he was in diapers, and apparently had been all morning. When we got home he was bottomless for 45 mins before nap and had an accident. Friday evening when I left he was bottomless and doing well.

Monday when I arrived the parents told me they "had to" put him in diapers because they "had to" go on family outings on Saturday and Sunday and didn't want to deal with accidents. Of course he'd regressed but I forged ahead. That day was the worst accident day we'd had yet, even worse than the previous Monday (day 1 of potty training). Tuesday was a little better (about 3 accidents), so was Wednesday (1 or 2 accidents). By Thursday he was mostly all the way back on track and only had one little accident in our 10 hour day, right after he woke up in the morning.

Thursday evening as I was leaving I asked the parents to please please remind grandma to try even a little time without a diaper on Friday morning. That's when MB and DB told me that they wanted to stop potty training. They said "it isn't fair to him, because he keeps having accidents with us so he's obviously not ready... and it isn't fair to you because we just aren't able to deal with him having these accidents so we're putting him back in diapers until he's really ready to wear underwear and not have accidents."

That was two weeks of intense potty training for NOTHING. Don't do it if the parents aren't fully on board.

That sucks, OP. The parents were just lazy.