Where do you allow your nanny to drive?

[Anonymous]

I am interviewing nannies and have noticed that most seem to want to have the liberty to do and go wherever they want with my child. We live in a great area with lots of fun, local kids' activities within a 15 minute drive, including 4 libraries, a mall, a kids museum, countless parks, a sprayground, pools, 3 rec centers, etc. Several nannies have balked at the idea that they should attend only these local activities, and instead think they should be able to drive places 45 min to an hour away. I suspect they want this liberty so they can meet up with their nanny friends, but I am very uncomfortable with this, considering that driving is the most dangerous thing they will do with my child. I'm not asking them to sit inside all day. Is it typical to just hand your kid off to the nanny and let them do whatever they want? Or is this an unreasonable expectation held by younger nannies?

[Anonymous]

These nannies are absolutely ridiculous. First, it is not good for a child to be confined in a care seat for any longer than absolutely necessary. Second, it is YOUR call where your child goes and not the nanny's call.

Our nanny has complete freedom to take DC anywhere she thinks will be beneficial for DC but she always checks with me first. Because Nanny understands how unfair it is to have DC strapped in a car seat for too long, she always limits her trips to places/classes/libraries within a few miles.

So the bottom line is that I hired a great, older nanny who I trust - not one of these silly little girls who puts their desires over the health and safety of their charges - so I allow our nanny to take DC anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am interviewing nannies and have noticed that most seem to want to have the liberty to do and go wherever they want with my child. We live in a great area with lots of fun, local kids' activities within a 15 minute drive, including 4 libraries, a mall, a kids museum, countless parks, a sprayground, pools, 3 rec centers, etc. Several nannies have balked at the idea that they should attend only these local activities, and instead think they should be able to drive places 45 min to an hour away. I suspect they want this liberty so they can meet up with their nanny friends, but I am very uncomfortable with this, considering that driving is the most dangerous thing they will do with my child. I'm not asking them to sit inside all day. Is it typical to just hand your kid off to the nanny and let them do whatever they want? Or is this an unreasonable expectation held by younger nannies?

Your child, your rules.

However, be open with any potential candidate. You don't want to hire someone who won't stay due to your limitations.

I would probably turn down this position. However, I know many nannies wouldn't mind your restrictions.

I personally don't see an issue with these nannies disclosing their preferences and wishes as well. It's about finding a good match. I have a feeling many employers who hire a nanny don't really have the personality to hire a nanny. There is a loss of freedom and control when hiring someone to care for your child in your home. Those who wish complete control, are probably best suited caring for the child themselves.

So yes, you absolutely have the right to restrict where any potential nanny drives your child. Some employers don't want their nannies driving around their children at all. Just know, your pool of potential nannies will be smaller.

Personally, I've had no issues finding employers who give me a lot of agency and autonomy. It, of course, takes awhile to build trust. However, many nannies expect this because that's what many families allow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am interviewing nannies and have noticed that most seem to want to have the liberty to do and go wherever they want with my child. We live in a great area with lots of fun, local kids' activities within a 15 minute drive, including 4 libraries, a mall, a kids museum, countless parks, a sprayground, pools, 3 rec centers, etc. Several nannies have balked at the idea that they should attend only these local activities, and instead think they should be able to drive places 45 min to an hour away. I suspect they want this liberty so they can meet up with their nanny friends, but I am very uncomfortable with this, considering that driving is the most dangerous thing they will do with my child. I'm not asking them to sit inside all day. Is it typical to just hand your kid off to the nanny and let them do whatever they want? Or is this an unreasonable expectation held by younger nannies?

Your child, your rules.

However, be open with any potential candidate. You don't want to hire someone who won't stay due to your limitations.

I would probably turn down this position. However, I know many nannies wouldn't mind your restrictions.

I personally don't see an issue with these nannies disclosing their preferences and wishes as well. It's about finding a good match. I have a feeling many employers who hire a nanny don't really have the personality to hire a nanny. There is a loss of freedom and control when hiring someone to care for your child in your home. Those who wish complete control, are probably best suited caring for the child themselves.

So yes, you absolutely have the right to restrict where any potential nanny drives your child. Some employers don't want their nannies driving around their children at all. Just know, your pool of potential nannies will be smaller.

Personally, I've had no issues finding employers who give me a lot of agency and autonomy. It, of course, takes awhile to build trust. However, many nannies expect this because that's what many families allow.

PP again

All that being said I did not drive my charges 45-60 minutes away very often. I was with my last NF for four years, and most of our outings were maybe 10-15 minutes away most of the time. I started with the twins at birth, and our first outing was at 5 weeks. By the time they were 3 months we were going out two to three times a week but for short increments and never farther than 20 minutes. As they got older, we would go further for special occasions (the zoo in the next city over, a new children's museum, a lake...etc). I'd say, we drove an hour away maybe 10 times the entire time I was working for this family. There really wasn't a need, and my nanny friends were fairly close so I didn't have to go far to socialize or organize play dates.

I do agree, 45 minutes to an hour several times a week is too much car time. I don't see the issue with danger (your child is just as likely to be in a car accident 15 minutes away from your house as they are 50 minutes away). I do agree that would be a long time for any child to be in a car that often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am interviewing nannies and have noticed that most seem to want to have the liberty to do and go wherever they want with my child. We live in a great area with lots of fun, local kids' activities within a 15 minute drive, including 4 libraries, a mall, a kids museum, countless parks, a sprayground, pools, 3 rec centers, etc. Several nannies have balked at the idea that they should attend only these local activities, and instead think they should be able to drive places 45 min to an hour away. I suspect they want this liberty so they can meet up with their nanny friends, but I am very uncomfortable with this, considering that driving is the most dangerous thing they will do with my child. I'm not asking them to sit inside all day. Is it typical to just hand your kid off to the nanny and let them do whatever they want? Or is this an unreasonable expectation held by younger nannies?

Your child, your rules.

However, be open with any potential candidate. You don't want to hire someone who won't stay due to your limitations.

I would probably turn down this position. However, I know many nannies wouldn't mind your restrictions.

I personally don't see an issue with these nannies disclosing their preferences and wishes as well. It's about finding a good match. I have a feeling many employers who hire a nanny don't really have the personality to hire a nanny. There is a loss of freedom and control when hiring someone to care for your child in your home. Those who wish complete control, are probably best suited caring for the child themselves.

So yes, you absolutely have the right to restrict where any potential nanny drives your child. Some employers don't want their nannies driving around their children at all. Just know, your pool of potential nannies will be smaller.

Personally, I've had no issues finding employers who give me a lot of agency and autonomy. It, of course, takes awhile to build trust. However, many nannies expect this because that's what many families allow.

PP again

All that being said I did not drive my charges 45-60 minutes away very often. I was with my last NF for four years, and most of our outings were maybe 10-15 minutes away most of the time. I started with the twins at birth, and our first outing was at 5 weeks. By the time they were 3 months we were going out two to three times a week but for short increments and never farther than 20 minutes. As they got older, we would go further for special occasions (the zoo in the next city over, a new children's museum, a lake...etc). I'd say, we drove an hour away maybe 10 times the entire time I was working for this family. There really wasn't a need, and my nanny friends were fairly close so I didn't have to go far to socialize or organize play dates.

I do agree, 45 minutes to an hour several times a week is too much car time. I don't see the issue with danger (your child is just as likely to be in a car accident 15 minutes away from your house as they are 50 minutes away). I do agree that would be a long time for any child to be in a car that often.

Statistically if you spend more time doing an activity that is inherently dangerous, your odds of an accident happening go up. It's basic math. Also driving long distances necessitates going on higher speed roads rather than local roads. Higher speeds increase the odds for a worse outcome if an accident did occur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These nannies are absolutely ridiculous. First, it is not good for a child to be confined in a care seat for any longer than absolutely necessary. Second, it is YOUR call where your child goes and not the nanny's call.

Our nanny has complete freedom to take DC anywhere she thinks will be beneficial for DC but she always checks with me first. Because Nanny understands how unfair it is to have DC strapped in a car seat for too long, she always limits her trips to places/classes/libraries within a few miles.

So the bottom line is that I hired a great, older nanny who I trust - not one of these silly little girls who puts their desires over the health and safety of their charges - so I allow our nanny to take DC anywhere.

Being in the car seat too long is also part of the issue. We want a nanny in part so that our child can be on schedule and nap in her crib, and we will come home to a rested child. A long car ride ensures a lousy car nap, which is something we'll do for a special occasion but we don't want to it be a part of our child's daily life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These nannies are absolutely ridiculous. First, it is not good for a child to be confined in a care seat for any longer than absolutely necessary. Second, it is YOUR call where your child goes and not the nanny's call.

Our nanny has complete freedom to take DC anywhere she thinks will be beneficial for DC but she always checks with me first. Because Nanny understands how unfair it is to have DC strapped in a car seat for too long, she always limits her trips to places/classes/libraries within a few miles.

So the bottom line is that I hired a great, older nanny who I trust - not one of these silly little girls who puts their desires over the health and safety of their charges - so I allow our nanny to take DC anywhere.

Being in the car seat too long is also part of the issue. We want a nanny in part so that our child can be on schedule and nap in her crib, and we will come home to a rested child. A long car ride ensures a lousy car nap, which is something we'll do for a special occasion but we don't want to it be a part of our child's daily life.

Then tell them. Be blunt. Tell them your expectations. There is nothing wrong with those expectations.


But you can't get upset that a nanny has her own expectations as well. They may not line up with yours. That is ok, move on to someone else who fits with you.

[Anonymous]

No good nanny is going to want her charge strapped into a car seat any more than necessary. If these candidates are balking at not having total autonomy and freedom to drive your child anywhere for any reason - they are not good nannies. Period.

[Anonymous]

My boss was ok with longer trips for a special occasion but not on a daily basis. So I think its fair to to say you prefer they keep local for the most part but if they want to meet up with a friend at the zoo ( or somewhere further away) just to let you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boss was ok with longer trips for a special occasion but not on a daily basis. So I think its fair to to say you prefer they keep local for the most part but if they want to meet up with a friend at the zoo ( or somewhere further away) just to let you know.

This is exactly how we feel -- it should be a special occasion, not regular. I guess I am just wondering, are there really other moms who just hand their toddlers off to a virtual stranger and let them go anywhere they want? I don't think I'm being unreasonable, and I'm also giving them the autonomy to plan the daily activities, within the limits of our local area. I'm stunned by the expectation of complete freedom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boss was ok with longer trips for a special occasion but not on a daily basis. So I think its fair to to say you prefer they keep local for the most part but if they want to meet up with a friend at the zoo ( or somewhere further away) just to let you know.

This is exactly how we feel -- it should be a special occasion, not regular. I guess I am just wondering, are there really other moms who just hand their toddlers off to a virtual stranger and let them go anywhere they want? I don't think I'm being unreasonable, and I'm also giving them the autonomy to plan the daily activities, within the limits of our local area. I'm stunned by the expectation of complete freedom.

A lot of us do have a lot of freedom and autonomy.

I do. I just don't use that freedom to drive an hour away several times a week.

Freedom isn't the issue. It's what a nanny does with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These nannies are absolutely ridiculous. First, it is not good for a child to be confined in a care seat for any longer than absolutely necessary. Second, it is YOUR call where your child goes and not the nanny's call.

Our nanny has complete freedom to take DC anywhere she thinks will be beneficial for DC but she always checks with me first. Because Nanny understands how unfair it is to have DC strapped in a car seat for too long, she always limits her trips to places/classes/libraries within a few miles.

So the bottom line is that I hired a great, older nanny who I trust - not one of these silly little girls who puts their desires over the health and safety of their charges - so I allow our nanny to take DC anywhere.

Agree. Hire an intelligent trustworthy woman, and then pay her an excellent wage.

[Anonymous]

I sort of wonder if there is a breakdown in communication here. I take my charges all over and I look for a family who WANTS their kids to get the most out of the amazing stuff the DC area has to offer, but it would be highly unfair to say that I "expect families to just give their child to a stranger to drive all over." I start with babies and I protect the nap, but as kids get older it is nice to have the option of exploring activities and places that might be further afield. For example, in the last few weeks, I drove with my 2yo twin charges to the National Zoo. It was 45 minute to get there at 9:30, but only 20 minues coming back at lunchtime. We could have missed some traffic but then we would have spoiled nap. Two weeks before that, I took then apple picking. It was an hour's drive and they had a car nap on the way home, but it was worth it because they still talk about the things they see on the farm and we did several projects cooking with apples. We will probably go back again next month.

No one expects you to hand over your kid no questions asked, but we do expect to build a relationship over time where we have earned your trust and you give us control over our days because you trust that we have similar priorities and that we also want to balance car safety, good sleep habits and exploring new environments. If you can't inagine building a relationship with another adult where there is open communication and shared goals and mutual trust, then you may need to look for other forms of childcare.

[Anonymous]

Parents should decide the radius in which the nanny and child are allowed to go during the day. Some of these outings like the zoo and apple picking sound more appropriate for family weekend outings. Besides, don't the families have to reimburse mileage? I would not go for this, especially the further locations that require driving the children on expressways that are notorious for bad traffic and frequent accidents.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the family and the nanny relationship. My employers have a special needs young elementary schooler and a typical teen. We do travel up to an hour away for therapy or take public transport into the city for day trips (don't live in dc area), but outside of that-outings are as close as possible. Because it is easier to do "family" activities 1:1, I do sometimes drive far for seasonal activities.
However, when I first stsrtrd with them- we didn't drive anywhere further than 10 miles and everything was pre-approved. Two or so years later and I send activity ideas a month out or so and MB and DB exercise veto power. This works for us, but I think it is something that is built up to and dependent upon the specifics of the family