Attn: MBs

[Anonymous]

How would you handle it if your nanny was pregnant?

I have to talk to my bosses about this eventually. I'm not pregnant yet, but my husband and I are going to start trying. For context my NKs are 2 year old twins and I've been with them full time since they were born. I try very hard to be a professional- never been late, only taken 1 sick day, continously give the kids new experiences, make sure I don't get complacent with any of my duties, etc. I just don't know how they'll handle me being pregnant.

Would you keep your long term nanny? Allow her to bring her baby? Expect to give her a paycut? How woild you handle maternity leave (how long and paid or not paid)? Should I bring it up soon to hash all expectations out first or wait until I'm actually pregnant?

[Anonymous]

First, don't only wait until you are pregnant to bring this up but wait until you have no choice but to tell your employer (eg showing or severe morning sickness).

Personally, I would never want my children's nanny to bring her own child to work. I would expect her to quit or find other childcare arrangements for her own baby. A mother's instinct is to put her child first and I am not employing someone to put my children second.

[Anonymous]

MENTION NOTHING UNTIL YOU ARE PREGNANT!!!

OMG - this goes for any woman in any profession!

I would let our beloved nanny go if the job of caring for my children became too physically taxing for her and I would not be comfortable with her bringing her baby to my home.

[Anonymous]

Being a nanny is not the best job for a new mother, OP. At this point, if you need to work, I would suggest applying at a daycare where you could work and have childcare.

[Anonymous]

MB here. Do not say a word until you are pregnant, and beyond your first trimester (unless you need to take off from work for some reason.)

Then, before you talk to your employers, know what you think you plan/hope to do when your baby is born. Do you want to go back to work? For them? Full-time or with modifications? Would you want to bring your baby? etc...

Then you sit down and talk to them. You tell them what your ideal scenario is, allow that they may need to make some decisions that mean your ideal scenario isn't possible with this position, etc... Then you let them discuss it.

In the best possible world you and your employers can work out an arrrangement that's a win-win for everyone. But that's a very individualized circumstance and highly dependent on the people and situation involved.

In the meantime, just continue being a fantastic nanny and maintaining the best possible working relationship with your employers.

I would work with a proven, long-term, excellent nanny in ways I wouldn't work with someone of shorter tenure or whose performance was not so great. All kinds of things are possible when the parents and nanny are a great team.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

MB here. I agree, for all professional women, don't talk about it until you are actually pregnant.
I always waited until I couldn't hide my pregnancy any longer- like 16-18 weeks, until I told my bosses.

As an MB, I would keep a pregnant/mom nanny as long as she continued to do her job well.
I'm not sure if I'd let her bring her baby- I'd have to see, and I'd want a discount

[Anonymous]

I would give you paid maternity leave and tell you I'm letting you go. I won't have a nanny who is a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, don't only wait until you are pregnant to bring this up but wait until you have no choice but to tell your employer (eg showing or severe morning sickness).

Personally, I would never want my children's nanny to bring her own child to work. I would expect her to quit or find other childcare arrangements for her own baby. A mother's instinct is to put her child first and I am not employing someone to put my children second.

This is exactly how most businesses feel about pregnant women but, unfortunately, must keep them on and hold jobs for them. As for "mother's instinct," where is yours? If you truly put your child first, you would be at home with her, not the nanny. Hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

Be prepared to be let go on the spot.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely wait until I was pregnant before I would bring up any of these issues OP.

Then once you are about 2-3 months along, you can let them know.

Caring for then three-year old twins is quite a task.
Adding a newborn into the mix would change the dynamic drastically.
Even if you do not add the baby into the mix, you will be very tired & may not be the optimal Nanny you are now.

You will be up all night caring for a demanding baby so you will be coming into work dead tired every morning.
And if you were to bring your infant to work w/you, you will be feeding, changing + soothing him from crying a lot during your shift.

Lots of food for thought here.

That being said, if your NF thinks you are a stellar Nanny and do not want to lose you, they may be willing to work w/you to keep you on.
After all, a good Nanny is not easy to find.

I wish you all the best and truly hope things all work out for the best for you in the future.

[Anonymous]

You wanted MBs, but I just wanted to say I am a nanny who brings her own child no pay cut, but they already pay me $4 below what I first asked for. I told them at 14 weeks and let them bring up me bringing baby. (A few weeks later)A few times I've been stiffed working free days, and their reasoning was me bringing my baby. Hasn't happened in a while though. She is 8 months now and my 3 NKs love her!

[Anonymous]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make the unPC assumption that most of the posters on this thread are women. So basically women who employ other women to care for their children are saying they would no longer continue to do so if that woman became a mother. Wrap your head around that one. If we are the meek who shall inherit the world maybe we should stick together a little bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go out on a limb here and make the unPC assumption that most of the posters on this thread are women. So basically women who employ other women to care for their children are saying they would no longer continue to do so if that woman became a mother. Wrap your head around that one. If we are the meek who shall inherit the world maybe we should stick together a little bit.

Actually, very few people said that. What they said is that they wouldn't let her bring her baby to work, and that she should consider whether this is a job she wants to keep with her own child.

I also agree not to tell until 2nd trimester, by which time you will have been with this family for almost three years at the very least. I'm sure they will be willing to work with you for time off and such, but beyond that (bringing your child, paid maternity leave), you'll just have to ask and see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go out on a limb here and make the unPC assumption that most of the posters on this thread are women. So basically women who employ other women to care for their children are saying they would no longer continue to do so if that woman became a mother. Wrap your head around that one. If we are the meek who shall inherit the world maybe we should stick together a little bit.

Actually, very few people said that. What they said is that they wouldn't let her bring her baby to work, and that she should consider whether this is a job she wants to keep with her own child. You basically just reiterated the opinion you seem to disagree with.

I also agree not to tell until 2nd trimester, by which time you will have been with this family for almost three years at the very least. I'm sure they will be willing to work with you for time off and such, but beyond that (bringing your child, paid maternity leave), you'll just have to ask and see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go out on a limb here and make the unPC assumption that most of the posters on this thread are women. So basically women who employ other women to care for their children are saying they would no longer continue to do so if that woman became a mother. Wrap your head around that one. If we are the meek who shall inherit the world maybe we should stick together a little bit.

Actually, very few people said that. What they said is that they wouldn't let her bring her baby to work, and that she should consider whether this is a job she wants to keep with her own child.

I also agree not to tell until 2nd trimester, by which time you will have been with this family for almost three years at the very least. I'm sure they will be willing to work with you for time off and such, but beyond that (bringing your child, paid maternity leave), you'll just have to ask and see.

What's the difference?