nanny phone use
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Anonymous
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We just hired a new nanny. My kids are a bit older (almost 3, and 4.5), and they are independent in many ways but still require plenty of supervision and coaching. The nanny we hired is a "professional"; she has a degree (albeit online) and has only ever worked in childcare. She came with glowing references, and we are paying her an excellent rate that is higher than what she made at her previous job caring for twin toddlers. Our kids will be spending a lot of time in preschool, but we are still paying her for full time, so she will have plenty of downtime on the job. We haven't asked her to do any tasks other than caring for the children.
Here's the thing. It's her first week. I feel like she should be bonding with the kids, doing fun activities with them, getting to know them, reading to them, etc....but all she is doing is sitting on her phone all day. She was reading them a book when I left this morning, but they told me that that was the only time she read to them all day. She took them to a park, and they said she didn't get up from the bench the entire time, and she just sat there on her cell phone. She spent nine hours with them. I understand that kids don't need constant engagement, and I am glad that my kids play well both independently and with each other. But I also expect that the nanny should be doing a little more than just browsing her phone all day. I also think kids should be supervised in a public place. I find this especially egregious considering that it's her first week -- I could understand the slide into this behavior as she grows weary of the job, but this is a brand new job. I"m just so disheartened -- should I start looking for someone new already? I worry about all these transitions for the kids, and I also feel like maybe I should give her more of a chance, but I am very concerned at this point. WWYD? |
Anonymous
| Where did you find her? |
Anonymous
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Sit her down and tell her in no uncertain terms that she is only permitted to use her phone when the children are napping or resting in their rooms. Period. Take a really hard line, OP - tell her that your neighbors (you don;t want to name names) saw her on the phone at the park (you want to keep your kids out of it) and you expect her to watch them 100% of the time. Tell her the same goes for inside the house. She is to engage the children and play with them.
Look - she is going to break the no phone rule but it is better to take a hard line than give her a nebulous warning without strict perimeters. And I am a nanny. I have seen children nearly killed because the nanny or mother was on their phone. |
Anonymous
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A degree doesn't guarantee you a professional.
This person is not a professional. |
Anonymous
Agreed |
Anonymous
| Need to get rid of her |
Anonymous
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It is disappointing to get them used to a new person but to me finding a new person is the best option. Better that you know now then later. I personally think that nanny should want to bond and play rather than being instructed to bond and play.
People throwing around the word "professional" and online "degrees" are the worst things that have happened this profession. |
Anonymous
| I hate to stereotype but usually younger Nannies are on their phones more often. |
Anonymous
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Wow, thank you all for your responses. I spoke with my husband tonight, and he thinks that I am being rash and that if we speak to her she will do a better job. He also thinks that our kids may not be providing an accurate report of the day. I did note that I suggested some activities for her to do with the children, and she didn't do them, but I am taking care not to micromanage and just assumed she preferred to do something else.
I will add that my kids aren't happy about the switch in caregivers (I was at home with them previously and then they had a different nanny for 6 mos who just went back to school). They've been a bit standoffish with the new nanny. I'm not sure if she is not engaging them because they aren't receptive, but at minimum she knows that my children love books and would absolutely sit in her lap reading for as long as she is willing. My point being that if she wanted to find a way to connect with them she could. |
Anonymous
Care.com |
Anonymous
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Your husband could be right about your kids. I'm a nanny and I agree with the nanny above.
Best of luck! |
Anonymous
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Phone use among both nannies and parents is out of control. Certainly, for a nanny (who is being paid to watch and engage children) should be held to a much higher standard.
I agree that a conversation restricting phone use to emergencies and rest times is required. NEVER should a nanny be on the phone in a public setting. Our nanny keeps her phone in her diaper bag 100% of the time that DC is awake unless she is taking DC's picture or texting me or my husband. We have security cameras all over the house and over the years she has been with us I have checked the cameras at various times during the day and she is always watching or engaging my child. When DC is napping, she takes care of of her personal calls and calls for DC (play dates, class scheduling, etc). It is ridiculous to think that it is not possible or too much to ask that a nanny stay off her phone! |
Anonymous
| Ugh. I'm going in to work late this morning so I had a chance to observe for a bit. I hear my kid asking her the same question repeatedly with no response, I go down and she is staring at Facebook ignoring my kid. While I'm home in earshot! Her first week! Ugh ugh ugh. I spoke up about what I observed and she lied to my face about what she was doing on the phone. |
Anonymous
That's horrible. My DH is annoying about this but my personal rule is I never have my phone out when with my 2 yo, unless he himself is having some screen time. |
Anonymous
| This will not get better. She'll just get better at hiding it from you and bribing or threatening the kids not to tell you. You need to move on. |