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Anonymous
Our son's first birthday is coming up and we are working on a guest list. Our wonderful nanny has been with us for 6 months and we wondered whether it is appropriate to invite her and her husband. We are leaning towards inviting her because she is amazing and such a huge part of his life. That said, we don't want to impose on her - the party will be on a Sunday (her day off). We don't want to put her in a tough spot by inviting her (and making her feel like she has to attend) or not inviting her (and making her feel excluded). How have other families handled this?
Anonymous
I say, "You are of course invited and we and DS would love to see you there, but I know it's your day off. So please don't feel obligated. You can do something special with him during the week, too."

The only nanny who upset me was the one who said she was coming to birthday parties and then never quite made it on the day. When the kids were older, they would ask and ask, and then she wouldn't show up. There was always a reason, but I wish she hadn't made a big deal about it during the days leading up to the party.
Anonymous
Nanny, we would like to invite you and your husband to larlo's birthday party, but completely understand if you have other obligations or plans for your time off. Maybe you and Marlo can do something fun together in Monday if you don't make it to the party!
Anonymous
Thanks guys! This is incredibly helpful advice - I will definitely phrase it that way when we invite her.
Anonymous
Invite her as you would any guest. She will come and your child will be happy to see her.
Anonymous
I'd be offended if I wasn't invited.
Anonymous
OMG, of course invite her and don't do all the "you don't have to.,," which are crap and make it sound like you don't really want her there. Invite her as you would any friend.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OMG, of course invite her and don't do all the "you don't have to.,," which are crap and make it sound like you don't really want her there. Invite her as you would any friend.


No. Most people would feel pressure to attend a party thrown by their employers. These are the kind of events when all of that "part of the family" stuff becomes confusing.
Anonymous
Invite her!! I was only my charges nanny for 6 months and both families sent me an evite and told me in advance, that they were inviting me and please don't feel obligated because it's during the weekend. I came and stayed for about an hour.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OMG, of course invite her and don't do all the "you don't have to.,," which are crap and make it sound like you don't really want her there. Invite her as you would any friend.


No. Most people would feel pressure to attend a party thrown by their employers. These are the kind of events when all of that "part of the family" stuff becomes confusing.

Speak for yourself.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Invite her as you would any guest. She will come and your child will be happy to see her.


Yes, exactly.
Anonymous
I am a nanny and even though I do love my charges, I don't want to be invited to their 1st birthday. Usually it's a family event and I'm not part of it.

However I am happy to celebrate during the week by making a special cake, special outing and bring them a gift.
Anonymous
I am a nanny and I would be crushed if I wasn't invited to my charges birthday party. Honestly, it would hurt my working relationship with the parents.

Luckily, it has never happened. I have always been invited and, only once in my career as a nanny, couldn't attend.
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