Nanny Share- One family driving me crazy!

[Anonymous]

I am currently working a part time nanny share with two children; the families are really nice and I love their girls. I have been working with them for 6 months but constantly having problems with one family adhering to schedule and communicating. Communication is very much important to me and I express this with them during the interview.

Family #1: Is always consistent with relieving me on-time (mainly early) and any time they need me to come in early, stay late, or have a change in their schedule, they always give me a decent heads up. We communicate pretty much throughout the day (on the days I work) and they express how much they value me and are happy they found me.

Family #2: In the beginning, the days the mom was not working (not on the schedule) she would wait until the last minute to ask if her child could come over. I have no problem with caring for her as she is no problem and I get paid regardless if she comes or not, but I have asked to know in advance so that I can plan for 2 kids and not one. Some places require registration and they will turn you down if you registered for 1 child and show up with 2. I also like to have them on the same schedule so most times she come later (not on schedule) she will need a nap and the other child just woke up, so it affect our outside time which isn't fair. The other family arranges for me to leave early when its just their child (which they do all the time) and then she shows up, it inconvenience not just myself but the other family because now I have to stay later, in the other families home while they are there. I've spoken to her and she says "I'm trying to do better," I'm thinking don't try, DO! You are an adult and now an employer, be professional! The next thing was they were constantly late with no heads up, so I addressed it and they have done better but still some late days. Another thing was both families were aware of a appointment I had planned almost 3 weeks ahead of time (on my scheduled off day) and the mom switched her schedule and didn't even speak to me to see if I could switch my appointment, so I had to cancel my appointment. Today she didn't even let me know her child was coming because she wasn't on the schedule and I was just shocked because I am tired of the reoccurring events that keep taking place. I even made a comment and said "oh, I didn't know you were coming today" nothing was said. I feel like they take advantage and inconsiderate.

I go above and beyond for both families, their kids are always involved in activities indoor and outdoor. I do everything they ask me to and am sure to keep them in the loop about their child's day with lots of pictures and text. I am honestly tired and I've gone down this road before and it puts a damper on my mood and I don't want to be that way, especially not with the other family. I have begun to search for full time position as a nanny, but do you guys think these are valid points to leave? I really love the girls but I am already starting to feel unhappy because of one family. I have definitely learned from this nanny share so if I decide to do another one I know what to bring up to ensure that those this don't happen again.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't happy and have a better opportunity, then leave!

Good luck

[Anonymous]

Any reason that matters to you and affects your quality-of-life is a good enough reason to quit. That said, it sounds like you have one terrific family. If I thought that the terrific family could be discreet, I would be talking to them about this and explaining that you are not sure how much longer you can be comfortable working with someone who does not respect your schedule and pre-arranged time off. It may be that your terrific family is happy to find someone else to join the share so that you are only losing the family that is causing the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Any reason that matters to you and affects your quality-of-life is a good enough reason to quit. That said, it sounds like you have one terrific family. If I thought that the terrific family could be discreet, I would be talking to them about this and explaining that you are not sure how much longer you can be comfortable working with someone who does not respect your schedule and pre-arranged time off. It may be that your terrific family is happy to find someone else to join the share so that you are only losing the family that is causing the problem.

+1. At least give the "good" family the chance to keep you!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like family #2 is not super considerate, but if they're paying you regardless, then I actually don't think dropping off last minute/without warning is a big deal. If you don't want a family that does that, you'll obviously need to find a different family; but given that they are paying you anyway, I don't think it's unfair on their part to think that's part of the deal. Now being late regularly = totally not OK.

[Anonymous]

It is a big deal when they don't warn me. Why? Because I am very active so what happens when I'm out with the other baby? Am I suppose to drop what I'm doing and head back to meet the other family? When I just used the others family's money to take the metro and their child doesn't get to participate in whatever activity we were headed to? Her not communicating doesn't just affect me, it affects the other child and the family as well, but I can't speak for them. It's just common curtesy! The moms are friends so I doubt the "considerate Mom" would find a new nanny share. The "inconsiderate Mom" would just cry woof and be so apologetic like she's done in the past and a week later she'll be back to her old ways. Thanks for your feedback though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a big deal when they don't warn me. Why? Because I am very active so what happens when I'm out with the other baby? Am I suppose to drop what I'm doing and head back to meet the other family? When I just used the others family's money to take the metro and their child doesn't get to participate in whatever activity we were headed to? Her not communicating doesn't just affect me, it affects the other child and the family as well, but I can't speak for them. It's just common curtesy! The moms are friends so I doubt the "considerate Mom" would find a new nanny share. The "inconsiderate Mom" would just cry woof and be so apologetic like she's done in the past and a week later she'll be back to her old ways. Thanks for your feedback though.

I understand it's annoying, but if the first family knows what she's doing and it's mostly just affecting their kid... Yes, you suck it up or quit. Like, ultimately, if she's paying you for all of the hours, you're available to her. If she can't drop in last minute, she shouldn't have to pay. That really is what she's paying for: to reserve your time for her kid. Family one gets a cheaper rate out of the share existing than thus pay alone, so -- especially if they're friends -- they aren't going to take your side.