Nanny share - one kid very difficult

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny to two toddler boys. One is average (mostly a good kid) and the other is always breaking things, ripping up books, never listens and is generally really hard to take care of. They are getting more and more mobile and I'm worried he will endanger himself or others.. The parents don't acknowledge the situation. They seem to think it's normal and nothing to worry about. What can I do?

[Anonymous]

off course is normal two years old are full of energy keep him busy at all the time. Also hag him and talk to him . eventually he is going to call down he needs attention.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't necessarily call ripping + breaking things "normal" toddler behavior.
Nor is not listening to what you say to him.

You need to dress to his parents the importance of his behavior & how difficult it is dealing w/it.
Tell them it is a major issue for you to be dealing w/it and that they NEED to talk to him about it and also punish him on a consistent basis when he misbehaves so often.
It is simply unfair to the other child you are watching to have to focus so much time/energy on their child.

If they honestly don't "get it" after you telling them all of this, thenbI would re-think working for them anymore.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

*stress to his parents

[Anonymous]

Pp, you seriously think punishing a two year old for being a two year old is called for?

[Anonymous]

Get him out of share. Kid is nothing but try and will only get worse.

[Anonymous]

Establish rules with both children and enforce them. Explain to both sets of parents what you are doing. Above and beyond all else, your charges must stop when you yell stop or freeze and they are never, ever to run away from you. You have to be firm, OP

[Anonymous]

Pick your battles, so pick the issues that are most important to you. Right now it sounds like intentionally breaking things is a concern, whether its ripping a book, or breaking a toy. Each time he does it say " No, We dont break toys/rip books" Then take him by the hand to a timeout area. Sit him there for 2 mins, then get him, remind him why he was in timeout and move on.
Give him lots of praise when he is gentle with things, like lots of praise.

[Anonymous]

Have you noticed if its a specific time when he does these things? For example, does he act out when you're involved in a particular activity? Or, if you're playing with the other child (not exactly not paying him attention but reading a book or you happened to start asking the other child about something he is playing with)? He could be looking for attention. I have worked with plenty of 2 year old boys, and some of them just need a lot of attention (hugging, asking them to help you etc). Definitely keep him active but don't do the same things everyday or every week. They understand somewhat at this age, so let him know if you rip a book- when we go outside you have to sit for the first 3 minutes (3 minutes (sitting) to a 2 year old is like forever to them!), don't let him getaway with misbehaving!! BE CONSISTENT!!

As for the parents, I would keep the parents aware of his behavior issues (but don't just tell them all the bad things), so when and if you decide to speak with them, they wont act like this is something new. I would send an email addressing your concern(s) and ask them if they would be available to talk for about 15 minutes on the day of your choice. This way they know that you are serious and if they really value you as their nanny, they will do their best to resolve the issue.

Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't necessarily call ripping + breaking things "normal" toddler behavior.
Nor is not listening to what you say to him.

You need to dress to his parents the importance of his behavior & how difficult it is dealing w/it.
Tell them it is a major issue for you to be dealing w/it and that they NEED to talk to him about it and also punish him on a consistent basis when he misbehaves so often.
It is simply unfair to the other child you are watching to have to focus so much time/energy on their child.

If they honestly don't "get it" after you telling them all of this, thenbI would re-think working for them anymore.

Good luck.

She says the child is "becoming mobile". So, presumably a young toddler, 12 - 18 months or so.

Ripping books is quite normal at this age. Breaking things would only happen if someone gave the child something breakable. That's why board books exist. Talking to an 18 month old and punishing them for something that happened hours ago would be entirely futile. How nanny responds in the 30 seconds after an incident is what will make a change in the behavior.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 preschool boys and neither of them has ever intentionally broken anything or ripped up a book.