Is this reasonable?

[Anonymous]

We've had a wonderful nanny situation for the past 3.5 years, but our nanny's availability has changed and our daughter will be in school more, and so we're now looking for a different kind of help. And I'm wondering -- is what we want possible and appropriate?

Specifically, we're looking for someone to join us 3 full days a week; we'd want him/her (our current nanny is a man and he's AMAZING) to arrive at 7:30 AM, help wrangle our daughter through breakfast and school prep, take her to preschool by 9:30, pick her up at 3:30 and bring her home to play until 6 when we get home. And: during the hours when our kid is at school, we were hoping that this person could give us some help around the house -- i.e., wiping down bathrooms one day, vacuuming/dusting another day, a couple of loads of laundry on the third day, maybe a grocery store run once a week -- that sort of thing. We were thinking of a task or two a day -- not like we'd be asking for the floors to be scrubbed or expecting the whole house to be sparkling clean every day or anything like that.

But... Our highest priority is that we find a caregiver who will ensure that our kid is safe, well cared for, and happy. Would we be out of line to be looking for someone to also do housework/the occasional errand? Is that offensive? Are we less likely to find a stellar caregiver if we also ask for housekeeping duties? For what it's worth, we try to be really good employers. We pay our current nanny very well, always err on the side of generosity, deeply respect him and his work, and will consider him part of our family forever.

I have the feeling that people are going to tell me I'm an idiot for asking this question, but I don't have experience in this stuff, and I genuinely want to know what's appropriate. Thanks for any advice.

[Anonymous]

Look for a housekeeper who will babysit your child. Not impossible. She will not be a nanny nor a teacher but whatever. The housekeeper who works in my employers home watches their older son for two hours in the morning before I get there and often babysits at night for the family.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here.

Every now and then someone posts a query along these same lines on this site. Every time I see a post like this I feel a little doubtful about whether I would apply to a position such as this. I am great with kids -- good enough to be "hireable" to work with kids. I am also a lousy cook and an unimpressive bathtub scrubber. I would be worried, in a position like this, that I am going to get fired because my bathtub scrubbing talents are subpar. And that it won't matter that I am taking good care of the kids.

So . . . my advice is just to make sure you are clear in your ad and in interviews and discussions as to what your priorities are.

[Anonymous]

I think most nannies would only take this job if you had a weekly housecleaner so they could believe you when you said "just clorox wipe the bathroom counters!"

[Anonymous]

It is.

I would title your ad that you are seeking a Nanny/Housekeeper however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is.

I would title your ad that you are seeking a Nanny/Housekeeper however.

I would title it Housekeeper/Babysitter.

[Anonymous]

It's totally reasonable and fine. Issue is that you are only looking for 3 days so someone needs to be able to find a 2 day a week job if they want full time. You will have to pay well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is.

I would title your ad that you are seeking a Nanny/Housekeeper however.

+ 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is.

I would title your ad that you are seeking a Nanny/Housekeeper however.

+2. And I would emphasize in the initial conversations that most weeks, she will do more housekeeping than nannying. Your child is getting the educational and socialization aspects of care at school; she can also tell you if her caregiver is treating her badly. You don't need the same type of person you need for an infant/preschooler. As kids get older, you need someone who enjoys "big kids," but not necessarily someone who can design a curriculum and knows the latest child-rearing advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is.

I would title your ad that you are seeking a Nanny/Housekeeper however.

+2. And I would emphasize in the initial conversations that most weeks, she will do more housekeeping than nannying. Your child is getting the educational and socialization aspects of care at school; she can also tell you if her caregiver is treating her badly. You don't need the same type of person you need for an infant/preschooler. As kids get older, you need someone who enjoys "big kids," but not necessarily someone who can design a curriculum and knows the latest child-rearing advice.

True, +2, if those are your and OP's priorities. I have a cleaning service twice a week but have a part time nanny with a education degree as I was her to engage my kids when they are home from k and 2nd grade with fun, educational games and projects. Nanny also has them both reading and doing simple math in their heads with fun riddles that she makes up. She gets dinner started as the kids have some quiet time and makes a learning adventure out of grocery shopping. My priority is not that nanny clean and she doesn't. She leaves the house as she found it - which is what I want.


I agree that OP should get a good housekeeowho likes to babysit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is.

I would title your ad that you are seeking a Nanny/Housekeeper however.

+2. And I would emphasize in the initial conversations that most weeks, she will do more housekeeping than nannying. Your child is getting the educational and socialization aspects of care at school; she can also tell you if her caregiver is treating her badly. You don't need the same type of person you need for an infant/preschooler. As kids get older, you need someone who enjoys "big kids," but not necessarily someone who can design a curriculum and knows the latest child-rearing advice.

True, +2, if those are your and OP's priorities. I have a cleaning service twice a week but have a part time nanny with a education degree as I was her to engage my kids when they are home from k and 2nd grade with fun, educational games and projects. Nanny also has them both reading and doing simple math in their heads with fun riddles that she makes up. She gets dinner started as the kids have some quiet time and makes a learning adventure out of grocery shopping. My priority is not that nanny clean and she doesn't. She leaves the house as she found it - which is what I want.


I agree that OP should get a good housekeeowho likes to babysit.

And I like my school-aged kids to go outside and play when they aren't at school. Or stay inside and play. But I think they've had plenty of adult-directed educational activities and adult-directed play at school. So, yeah, we have different priorities.

[Anonymous]

You need a housekeeper who can also babysit when needed. I can't speak for all nannies, but I prioritize caring for kids. If would not even apply to a job that required me to spend more time cleaning than caring for children.

You also will need to pay housekeeper rates AND part time rates, so you are likely looking at $30+ per hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a housekeeper who can also babysit when needed. I can't speak for all nannies, but I prioritize caring for kids. If would not even apply to a job that required me to spend more time cleaning than caring for children.

You also will need to pay housekeeper rates AND part time rates, so you are likely looking at $30+ per hour.

Disagree with this. I have had no trouble finding good people for this kind of gig at the same rates as a nanny. The kid part is easy, and she's not asking for deep cleaning or full-on household management. I call this a "household assistant/babysitter" position.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, OP. I think your expectations seem very low.
If I only had one child in ES and was paying someone nanny rates to be at my home doing housework for 6 hours/day, I would expect the house to be sparkling clean and dinner made. In 20 hours/wk, my housekeeper manages to make 5 meals a week, grocery shop, do laundry, organize kids clothes, and keep the house sparkling clean for all six of us; 3 of whom are under 5 years old. When I hired a weekly cleaner, they were only here for about 4 hours/wk. It doesn't really take a ton of time to clean a house.

[Anonymous]

OP here -- thanks, all, for your insights and advice -- it was very helpful. Ultimately, we ended up decoupling the housekeeping duties from the child-care duties. As it turned out, one of our regular, trusted babysitters is going to be able to do after-school pick-up, so then we just needed to find someone to take the "morning shift" to help us get our kid fed and off to school. We posted for that, and quickly realized that more people than we had imagined were interested in an easy few-hours-in-the-morning gig, and we've gotten some pretty fabulous candidates. So we'll go that route, and if we want help with keeping the house clean, we'll find someone to do that part separately.

Thanks again for the kind and balanced perspectives!