Too attached to Nanny family. ...

[Anonymous]

Today made me see that. I am doing some cover work for another family and they are nice enough but the bond I feel with my NF is so much stronger. My MB in particular is so kind and always looks out for me. I hope I will be with them for a good few years to come but kind of makes me feel weird for feeling so strongly about them. This is my first nanny family. Do other nannies experience this?

[Anonymous]

Yes we do.

And since this is your first Nanny Family, then it is no surprise that they will always be extra special.

[Anonymous]

I just can't imagine them not being in my life. Maybe I need to back off emotionally. They really are like family to me.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here with dozens of former nanny families.

Yes, you do need to back off emotionally. Because even if it's nice to feel a nice bond with them and feel they're like "family" to you, just realize that it'll never be the case and that once you won't be needed any more you will see that for yourself.
Some bonds are kept, some are not, but I think it's safer to back off emotionally so that you're not hurt when you're done working for them and that you see they don't contact you as often or that the kids forget about you ...

[Anonymous]

I am bonded to my first full-time charge but not the parents.

May I ask how old you are, OP?

[Anonymous]

OP here, I don't want to answer that as I know I will get a 'You are so immature' response. I will back off emotionally, it's the only way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just can't imagine them not being in my life. Maybe I need to back off emotionally. They really are like family to me.

I think you should. You don't fire family members from being family members. You do fire nannies.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? I felt like this with my first couple nanny gigs in my early twenties, but then learned to put some distance. It hurts to much when you leave if you don't.

[Anonymous]

We've had two long-time nannies and they both left to start their own families. Both are family friends who visit with their families when in town. Guess that is just how we roll.

[Anonymous]

Fact:
For healthy development, little children need to feel loved by their primary caregivers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fact:
For healthy development, little children need to feel loved by their primary caregivers.

Fact: you can love a child and still maintain healthy professional boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fact:
For healthy development, little children need to feel loved by their primary caregivers.

Fact: you can love a child and still maintain healthy professional boundaries.

True and I love my charge but I am not attached in any way to his parents!

[Anonymous]

I'm attached to some former families and not to others. More than 10 years after I left a family, we're still best friends. We spend most holidays and vacations together. Our kids (now all teens) are close like siblings. One former family hasn't contacted me since I left the job. They weren't great employers, but I am a little saddened by it because I haven't seen the kids after all of these years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've had two long-time nannies and they both left to start their own families. Both are family friends who visit with their families when in town. Guess that is just how we roll.

That's how we roll, too.