Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

My nanny is habitually late (usually just 5 minutes or so) and she will usually text me that she's running late. If I see the text, I reply " no problem". I am also very flexible when she has to take a few hours off here and there for doctors appointments, or personal errands. Usually she will give me a days notice and not much of a choice in the matter. I am always flexible and rearrange my schedule so that she can take care of these things. (my job is somewhat flexible).

Yesterday I had a very important business call that I planned to take on my drive home from work. I was worried it may run over by a few minutes, so I texted her and asked if she was available for an extra 5 minutes or so in case my call ran over. She responded "I guess". This REALLY pissed me off. I have never come home late before, in fact usually I am home early. I would have been happier and understood if she just said she couldn't do it, she had plans. but I found the "I guess" unprofessional despite my flexibility for her lateness and personal errands. Maybe I am overreacting but this is really bugging me. I plan on saying something today but maybe I am being too sensitive?

[Anonymous]

I think you say what you say here: you have been flexible and kind about it, and you expect the same kindness from her.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it should work both ways. If you are being flexible, she should be too.

[Anonymous]

You're not being too sensitive. And you probably need to have this conversation in person (as it sounds you're planning.)

I think you should be very direct about how you always try to be pleasant and flexible and you would hope that courtesy would go both ways. "Tone is hard to manage in texts, but when I read "I Guess" it felt grudging, not gracious. Were you annoyed by the request?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not being too sensitive. And you probably need to have this conversation in person (as it sounds you're planning.)

I think you should be very direct about how you always try to be pleasant and flexible and you would hope that courtesy would go both ways. "Tone is hard to manage in texts, but when I read "I Guess" it felt grudging, not gracious. Were you annoyed by the request?"

+ 1

Bingo.

Say this.

It is perfect!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not being too sensitive. And you probably need to have this conversation in person (as it sounds you're planning.)

I think you should be very direct about how you always try to be pleasant and flexible and you would hope that courtesy would go both ways. "Tone is hard to manage in texts, but when I read "I Guess" it felt grudging, not gracious. Were you annoyed by the request?"

Brilliant and perfect! Yes, OP, let this open the conversation and tell her that it is always a two-way street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not being too sensitive. And you probably need to have this conversation in person (as it sounds you're planning.)

I think you should be very direct about how you always try to be pleasant and flexible and you would hope that courtesy would go both ways. "Tone is hard to manage in texts, but when I read "I Guess" it felt grudging, not gracious. Were you annoyed by the request?"

Brilliant and perfect! Yes, OP, let this open the conversation and tell her that it is always a two-way street.

BTW, our nanny has been late ONCE in 17 months and I am always running a little late. She never gives me attitude but has told me on specific days when she has something that she needs to be on time and on those days I always let her off 30 minutes or so early (with pay of course)